Im 18, have fallen pregnant. I dont know what the right decision is, can anyone help?

[lucyw19]

I 18, i dont know what to do, HELP!!!

Income support is a social security benefit that you may be entitled to.

Get on the phone to your local benefit office and explain your situation to them and ask what you'll be entitled to?

If you have no money coming in, how can you be expected to survive?

Or you may be able to get job seekers allowance, which is for people who are looking for work.

Hi Lucy, I also got pregnant when I was 18, Im now 20 and my sons 13months old. Your situation sounds really simular to mine, sounds like you've made the decision to keep your baby. If you'd like any advise on anything dont hesitate to ask, as ive been through pretty much the same as what your about to.

Hello, Biglilbubu.

Just wondering did you have doubts fomr time to time, are you still with ur babys dad?
Was money hard, did u move out?

Sorry all the questions, just helps me to hear other peoples opinions!

wb x

Hi Lucy,
Well when I first found out I was pregnant I straight away decided to keep the baby, there was no doubt at all, but it hadn't really sunk in properly. Everytime I went to the loo I expected to see that I had come on my period. It just didnt feel real at all.
I started to get doubts when I was nearly 12 weeks pregnant. My partner was away on holiday with his family and I remember being with my friend and thinking I cant do this, Im going to have an abortion. I was in 2minds part of me wanted the baby the other half was scared. But as soon as I had my first scan the doubts went and I couldnt wait till he was born. Now he's here I couldnt imagine my life without him.
How far gone are you now?
How are your parents with it?

Sorry forgot to answer other questions. Yes I moved out and I rent a house with my partner. Moneys ok, were quite lucky as my partners mum helps out alot.
I still live with my partner but we recently broke up, I love him very much but im not in love with him anymore if you see what i mean. Were going to stay living together and raise our son together and hopefully work on our relationship. Things have been alot better since we broke up, we get on better.

Awww, yeah its good your working at it!!

Im 10 weeks on sunday! My mums been really good even though shess really worried!!
I havent really talked to my dad about it, but he told my mum if i need him to go see him!! But i just feel i have to make the effort, i hate not seeing him though as we were very close!!

I have doubts sometimes, when i hear my friends going out, then i had a dream that i lost the baby last night it was awful, so im happy im keeping it!! i just hope it all goes well uno!!

Well apparently if we get our flat once ive had my baby, the housing will pay 75% as my partner dosent earn much!!

if u dont mind me asking was the labor hard, thats another owrry lol!!

wb xx

Lucy - just a story to share. My mum got pregnant with me when she was 15 and had me when she was 16 - had my brother when she was 18. She got back into education in her 20's and got a degree and is a Social Worker.

So by the time she was in her 30's, we were old enough to be left alone and she could have a life again. Me - I'm 39 had my dd1 at 37 and dd2 at 38 - so I had my social life earlier and probably won't have one again until my 50's!

What I'm trying to say is that there is no right time to have children - earlier or later it usually works out - eventually! There may be times of hardship - but your own children are breathtakingly beautiful and this helps when things get tough.

Keep your options open about pain relief during labour - everyone is different. HTH

Hi Lucy,
I bet your really relieved your mums being supportive. I got really close with my mum while I was pregnant. I think you definatly need your mum at a time like this.
Um....my birth wasnt nice to say the least.
Firstly I went over due, which was horrible as I had to be induced. My labour wasnt very long so that was one good thing. But I was pushing for an hour and a half. Finally the doctor used forceps to deliver him. I had an epidural and gas and air. Im glad I had an epidural,I made them keep topping it up, even while I was pushing. I could still feel pain but not too bad. My son was 9lb 10oz which is why I couldnt push him out myself...he was just too bloody big.
Gas and air is brilliant, I had my apendics out a few months ago. Before the operation I kept asking for gas and air as pain relief because its great. They wouldnt let me have it though. ...
Next time I give birth id like to do it without an epidural, but id have to know that the baby wasnt big. If I have another as big as george was, I think it'll have to be another epidural.
Have you got morning sickness or anything?
Have you got your scan booked?
Are you hopeing for a baby girl or baby boy?

My birth at age 22 of ds was okay lated 24 hours had gas and air and pethidine and morphine injections and then he was delivered with NO stitches or anything needed just a little graze I was told so it sometimes all goes okay, but was tiring and its not the labour that is so bad well for me anyway, it is the sleep deprevation afterwards but then I breast fed so no one else could help but love my ds, he is 7 now and im in 4th year at uni.it will be okay

The midwife is comgin to see me for the frist time on thrusday! and then i think ill have a scan boked then. But i have already had a scan due to complications, thats was interesting, but it was so tiny!!

No i havent had morning sickness, i just feel sick most days, but its not too bad. i get tired a lot too. My mum says i need to do exercise as that will help with the birth.

I obv dont really mind what i ahve but i would like a girl, for the dressing up bit. =]

Wb x

I was the same. I didnt get morning sickness, but things made me feel sick and I got put off lots of food. I had this pregnancy book called 'The pregnancy bible' and it had pictures of a baby in the womb each week. I was in a café with my partner having some lunch while flicking through the book. The picture of the fetus at 10 weeks made me feel sick. It was a really unfortunate picture. All the other ones looked cute but this one looked discusting. I couldnt eat my lunch and I felt sick for ages. I couldnt look at the picture again. When your in a book shop have a look its really rank.
My mum took me to yoga when I was pregnant, but I only went for the first three months. If id carried on im sure the birth would have been easy. I proberbly wouldnt have gone over due either.
Good that the midwifes coming to you. I had to go to the hospital for all my apointments.
I wanted a girl really badly when I was pregnant, but I just had a feeling I was having a boy. Im really happy I had a little boy first though. I think its nice for a little girl to have an older brother. So hopefully the next baby I have will be a girl.
Anyway let me know how the midwife ap goes. xx

Hey lucy. I'm 19 and at university in Bristol, within my first week of being here i found out i was pregnant! Not the easiest thing to have to deal with when you've just left home, parents, making new friends, starting a new course and also in a HUGE city that you don't know! Yep, i would say it's pretty hard! After loads of thinking, i decided i wanted to keep my baby, but i also wanted to stay at uni. (Studying early childhood studies - the irony ay!) My answer - i'll do both! Will it be hard, absolutley! But i'm up for the challenge. My parents have been amazing about it all, my mum was down this weekend and bought me loads of baby books! Despite problems with my ex (baby beans dad) i've never felt happier. My morning sickness is terrible and i feel so tired all the time, but i'm also the happiest i've ever been! It's going to be so hard to do, but i am totally going to do it. I'm now 2 months and 2 days pg, due on 27 may. Glad to see you seem happy about your decision to keep your bean too. x

hello, wow ur strong!! i just wish in a way i was learning etc uno!!

Im 10 weeks, so im just ahead, we'll have our babies around the same time how exciting!!

How long have u been with ur bloke?

my morning sickness, i hvent been sick but ive felt sick and i get tired, but its all stopped atm excpt for the tiredness!!

anyway, i hope you dont mind answering the questions, where do u come from??

wb xxx

I was with him for 9 months, then we split cause i came to uni and in all honesty i just couldn't stand him anymore! Cruel - but v. true! I had always felt pressurised by him and his family to have a baby young and not do anything with my life, and that convinced me more not to be with him. So i came to uni and he went on a holiday to greece that i had bought us, obviously i couldn't and didn't wanna go anymore. So of he went with a mate, and i told him while he was there after it being forced out of me. Said we'd talk when he got back and at first he was like a kid at xmas, so excited and happy. Then we had an argument over trivial things concernng the baby and i haven't heard from him since. Its been weeks since i last spoke to him. People keep telling me to give hime time and that he'll come around, but after the way i feel he has abondoned me in what has been a few of the hardest weeks of my life, i actually feel hatred towards him. That may or may not be a hormone thing - cant be sure!
My family all stay in Scotland, close to glasgow - i'm in Bristol - quite a distance!
Am now 9 and a half weeks and think i'm getting a bit of a bump, on the plus side my morning sickness had seemed to stop!
Speak later hun, take care of you and your bean linz x

you have a bump already?? Im 12 weeks and i dont have a bump, you dont usually show till 5-6 months usually do you??

I just feel tired tbh, sometimes a bit sick but touchwood, thats it!!

Im also looking into HypnoBirthing, dont no if you've herd of that but it sounds good!!

Anywya good luck x