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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

under arm shaving for being bridesmaid

236 replies

Jojaney · 13/07/2014 22:41

My 14 year old daughter is being a bridesmaid this summer. She has mousy brown hair under her armpits. I suggested she shaves them this summer but she dismissed my idea and seemed quite offendec by my suggestion.

Should I let this go- is arm pit hair a personal preferance? I am concerned she will look ridiculous.

OP posts:
Trills · 13/07/2014 22:50

Pit hair is a personal preference.

Are you afraid that you will be embarrassed because she "looks ridiculous"? Or that she will be embarrassed on the day, and wish that she had shaved? I hope it's the latter, and that it's her feelings that you are considering.

SoonToBeSix · 13/07/2014 23:07

Are you serious? Your poor dd, it's is really non of your business.

scarlettsmummy2 · 13/07/2014 23:11

I am going to be very un PC and would say I would probably just make her.

frames · 13/07/2014 23:14

She is embarrassed. I would have been if my mum had said this. Is there someone else who could hint...when I wear my dress I will be shaving my pits.

TrinityForce · 13/07/2014 23:17

What? Yes, that's the right idea, have someone else "hint" that a 14 yo should shave their armpits... That won't embarrass her at all.

Leave her be, she isn't going to be waving her pit hair at the cameras for photos, it'll be fine.

frames · 13/07/2014 23:34

Someone more her age who is not as embarrassing as her mum. I was in awe of my cousin a few years older than me at that age. On the day it is only going to take one nasty comment by some silly twonk who has had a few and the poor girl will be in bits. Probably some stupid 17 year old lad. Or do what happened to Saffy in Ab Fab...pinned down and tasch ripped off.

mumtoateen · 14/07/2014 06:39

Also going to be un PC and tell you to make her tbh. If someone makes a comment it will destroy her, and pit hair won't look nice at a wedding, it doesn't look nice no matter what anyone says.

EdithWeston · 14/07/2014 06:48

Being a bridesmaid is an inherently decorative role, and it's necessary to dress and present yourself in ways one would not ordinarily choose.

Your DD is totally right not to shave when she does not want to.

If the bride asks, however, she should capitulate.

wigglylines · 14/07/2014 06:57

Is this the 1950s?! FFS!

Her body, her choice. You've suggested, she's declined. If someone teases her it's not the end of the world.

Can't believe so many suggesting ways to manipulate or force her to conform, agsinst her wishes. Shame on you.

TittyNotSusan · 14/07/2014 06:58

I also think she was embarrassed by your suggestion. I think you've made your point. If you leave an open, clean razor in the bathroom she can make her own decision without losing face. And if she decides not to then that's up to her.

Good on her though for not conforming to the hairless norm these days!

Sirzy · 14/07/2014 07:01

Why not buy her a razor, leave it in the bathroom cabinet and tell her it's there whenever she wants to use one.

At 14 she is more than old enough to decide for herself when she is ready to shave.

Isitmylibrarybook · 14/07/2014 07:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HavantGuard · 14/07/2014 07:08

I find it hard to believe that a 14 year old hasn't already started on the treadmill of hair removal.

Greyhound · 14/07/2014 07:12

I remember my mum being mortified when I attended a dress fitting with unshaven armpits. She bought me some razors and demanded I shave. I did shave and I was extremely embarrassed :(

It is up to your dd but I wouldn't make too much of it.

FishWithABicycle · 14/07/2014 07:20

it's her body ffs.

please don't teach her that a natural part of it is offensive and disgusting.

if SHE decides to shave, that's up to her.

Lagoonablue · 14/07/2014 07:26

How exactly do you make a 14 yr old shave their armpits?

CharlieSierra · 14/07/2014 08:04

Totally agree with EdithWeston, having accepted the invitation to be a bridesmaid this is not the time to dig her heels in over this type of personal preference.

Branleuse · 14/07/2014 08:12

tell her that you dont care one way or the other whether she shaves them in general or what she does for her own wedding but that the bride will probably want her to shave them for the day that shes bridesmaid

Chocotrekkie · 14/07/2014 08:14

I would probably say to her something along the lines of - look if you don't want to shave your pits that's fine but people will comment negatively - you will be known for ages as hairy pit girl/gorilla pits etc

If she is ok with this then that's her choice.

Bunbaker · 14/07/2014 08:15

"I find it hard to believe that a 14 year old hasn't already started on the treadmill of hair removal."

Same here. DD has been shaving her legs and armpits since she was about 12. She will have noticed that other girls in the PE changing room will have had smooth, hairless legs and wouldn't want to be teased about it. She was the last in her year to get a bra, and I only got her one because she didn't want to be "different", and the other girls were asking why she didn't have one.

Peer pressure is not a good thing.

Isitmylibrarybook · 14/07/2014 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 14/07/2014 08:18

Weddings are not occasions for being PC, razor, shave, end of conversation.

I hate having to shave my legs and confess to swimming with them in an unkempt state, but sometimes teens have to accept their is a time for being conventional and weddings are one of those times.

IME (I have two teen DDs), if you explain once firmly what's expected and leave a razor about, you'll find she shaves in her own time.

DD2 is incredibly stubborn, but a real chance of Blush is the one thing liable to get through to her.

QuietNinjaTardis · 14/07/2014 08:21

Seriously? If the bride demands it then she should shave her armpits? What sort of person thinks they have that right over someone else's body? Leave her alone fgs.

Sirzy · 14/07/2014 08:26

I am intrigued as to why a bit of arm pit hair could be an issue to being a bridesmaid?

Have I missed something and bridesmaids spend hours waving their arms in the air? (Even then can't see why it should be an issue though)

Isitmylibrarybook · 14/07/2014 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.