Pregnant as a surrogate and the intended parents have changed their minds

[ConfusedandscaredHELP]

Hi everyone,

So I've never posted on here before, its not my thing...
But basically..
I agreed to be a surrogate for a friend who is in a same sex relationship...
It was a spur of the moment thing, yes I know thst sounds stupid as I've created a life, but I saw how much they longed for a child ...

Anyway the short version, I'm now pregnant ( quite far 😭 and they've decided they aren't ready for a child now!!

Well, neither am I!! 😭😭😭
Im petrified of giving birth, and then being stuck with a baby I dont want or dont feel any bond for as I drummed it into my head its not my baby.

Is it possible to find a couple now to take the baby or too late???

My family dont even know as I dont live too close and we are always in touch but via phones etc ... please help!
I really cant and dont want this baby, im sorry for people desperate for their own child as I feel horrible and selfish!!
I don't want to go down the social services adoption route as the poor baby is going to think it wasn't wanted and just taken when that wasn't the case. It wss planned and was a special helping beautiful gift for a couple that obviously couldn't have their own child

Any ideas???
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Kc
😖😖😖😖😖😖😖
Thanks for reading
Sorry if I offend anyone. I know how special and precious it is to be able to be pregnant, im Sorry

The naivety of people thinking this could be a made up story is quite something. There are multiple Facebook groups with women appealing to male members for sperm donations and for each of them there are 10 men willing to donate! You can even opt for how you wish for the insemination to occur!

This is a very sad situation - the baby being abandoned- because so called friends decided it was not for them! I am sorry about this situation but all parties should have thought long and hard about bringing a child into this world - I despair 😞 another poor child up for adoption

I’m not going to comment on whether this is real or not as that’s MN job.

All I can say is that actual surrogacy “agencies” require the mother to not be primigravida for a lot of very good, rational, clear reasons.

Tho a baby will be adopted quickly I would have thought

and would be very much wanted by the adoptive parents

I have a few friends who have adopted children and they are\were very much wanted

Oh I dunno. Could just put it on eBay surely?

That makes me so sad that they’re tossing their baby aside, like an unwanted handbag.

That makes me so sad that they’re tossing their* baby aside, like an unwanted handbag.

*She’s
**Her

And this is why surrogacy should be illegal. It's morally reprehensible on the part of the OP's "friends" and emotionally illiterate on her part. Please get in touch with social services asap (especially as you are late into the pregnancy). Newborns have a very good chance of a successful and happy adoption.

Hmm yeahh sure.

💩💩💩💩💩

If you are too far on for a termination, you can relinquish this baby in the hospital, as have others I have worked with.
You must do this via Children's Services and the adoption process.
Anything else is child trafficking.

As part of the adoption, all parties are interviewed by social workers for an extensive report, plus there will be a written document for the child to read when older.
This explains something of their origins and difficulties the birth parents may have had which made them unable to parent. It is carefully and sympathetically written (I have done several)
The child has the right to know these details.

L.O.B

You mean she put herself in this position?

Or facebook marketplace

As you can see I was replying to someone saying “it”, the baby, should be seen as a gift.

What I suggest is that people stop trafficking human beings and stop creating babies whose first experience of life will be losing their mother.

Lady Bracknell surely, not Lady Bridgerton ?

What? The baby has two parents, and a third intended parent.

I don't know why so many people are fixated on this being fake. The way I see it, if I respond to a post kindly, I've done the right thing. If it turns out to be fake, it's their morals in question, not mine.

So OP, the one thing you don't have to worry about is this baby finding a good home. There are couples queuing up for newborns. There is no question of this not being possible. Don't worry about it. As far as you're concerned, it's exactly the same. You give birth and then pass the baby on to the adoptive parents.

Your "friends" are absolutely awful for doing this, it is unforgivable.

I don't believe this as OP has vanished. You don't come on for desperate advice about something so serious then not even come back once.

Awful for you and the baby. Have you anything in writing to confirm the agreement or is it just verbal? Do you have and texts or emails as proof at all? Speak to your midwife and go down the adoption route is the only plausible option really

”It’s such a heartwarming story son. Your mother gave you away when you were just hours old. I know, beautiful isn’t it! I bet it makes you feel really special and secure”

Please stop.

Why are you talking about contraceptive failure? The baby was conceived deliberately.

If this is a truthful account then you need to involve children's services. You can't just hand a baby over to random people. What does your midwife know about the situation? Perhaps you can speak to her urgently because before you know it you will be in labour and you need a plan before that.

You do realize that you can't just hand a baby over to random people?

Maybe another Mumsnetter will come forward like on the Doghouse board 🙄