Pregnant as a surrogate and the intended parents have changed their minds

[ConfusedandscaredHELP]

Hi everyone,

So I've never posted on here before, its not my thing...
But basically..
I agreed to be a surrogate for a friend who is in a same sex relationship...
It was a spur of the moment thing, yes I know thst sounds stupid as I've created a life, but I saw how much they longed for a child ...

Anyway the short version, I'm now pregnant ( quite far 😭 and they've decided they aren't ready for a child now!!

Well, neither am I!! 😭😭😭
Im petrified of giving birth, and then being stuck with a baby I dont want or dont feel any bond for as I drummed it into my head its not my baby.

Is it possible to find a couple now to take the baby or too late???

My family dont even know as I dont live too close and we are always in touch but via phones etc ... please help!
I really cant and dont want this baby, im sorry for people desperate for their own child as I feel horrible and selfish!!
I don't want to go down the social services adoption route as the poor baby is going to think it wasn't wanted and just taken when that wasn't the case. It wss planned and was a special helping beautiful gift for a couple that obviously couldn't have their own child

Any ideas???
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Kc
😖😖😖😖😖😖😖
Thanks for reading
Sorry if I offend anyone. I know how special and precious it is to be able to be pregnant, im Sorry

Oh my goodness. You poor thing, what an awful thing to have happened to you. Your friends should be ashamed of themselves. Is the baby biologically yours?

How old are you?
Is the baby biologically yours, or theirs, or a combination?

Is the baby genetically yours? Or was it doner egg from the couple? Did you sign any agreements or all verbal?

I don’t think it would be too late to find an adoption if that’s what you wanted. I would contact your local authority and start the ball rolling

think of it as a beautiful gift for a couple who couldn’t afford surrogacy and had to adopt. I would get in touch with adoption agencies now and get the ball rolling, this child deserves a good life don’t wait and hope they change their mind.

Oh my, poor you and how desperately sad for the poor baby. Your ‘friends’ are really despicable people. I’m afraid that this is a good example of why surrogacy should be banned. I don’t really have any advice - but it feels like you’ve been tricked - police? Is it biologically your child?

Your friends are appalling. I'd suggest you contact your local adoption and fostering services to discuss options. There must be many would-be adopters who will have passed all the checks and can give this poor baby a loving home.

The baby will be wanted by adoptive parents. Many people are desperate to adopt a baby.
Who are the genetic parents in this case ?

I’m sure someone will be overjoyed to adopt the wee soul - there are very few newborn babies needing adoption and the majority of them may have been exposed to drugs / alcohol in utero.

Realistically adoption

i know 2 couples who adopted children the child much wanted and love by amazing parents and no doubt will have a fantastic life

I'm not sure you can become a surrogate on a whim. You will have gone through IVF which they will have paid for etc. Highly unlikely scenario.

It is an unlikely scenario- but if OP used her own egg she wouldn’t have needed IVF.

Yes exactly this

Are you for real? He or she is a baby, a human being, not a present to be passed about to make other people feel good. And a person who is going to start their life by being traumatically removed from their mother. Oh how beautiful, what a wonderful thing to happen 🙄

Is the baby genetically yours or theirs? I am not sure what sex the couple are. Could be their sperm/your egg, your egg/other sperm, their egg/other sperm.

There could be legal implications depending on whose baby it is genetically.

I agree with PP that you need to talk to midwife urgently and see if they can help signpost you to services that can help.

There must be a lovely couple out there who would so appreciate a baby you could give them.

💐💐💐

🤔 I need to hear more

This all seems very unlikely.

Dod you become a surrogate without ever having had children of your own?!

Why do you say that? OP could have used “turkey baster” method or even had sex with her friend.

We don’t know if it’s her egg or the sex of her friend.

She would have still needed to get donor sperm and possibly IUI at a clinic (although she could have done home insemination but much harder to get hold of sperm for this). I also can’t believe anyone would be so stupid to do this without getting any kind of legal protections in place. It’s so obviously a made up story. Guarantee the OP never comes back to the thread

Adoption is the only route. Or you are talking about human trafficking?

How do you get pregnant as a surrogate on a whim? Where you watching Neighbours?

better that than forced to stay with a mother who doesn’t want them

I assumed OP was female and her friends were male.

Are they aware you don’t want to raise the baby?

I don’t disagree that it seems a highly unlikely scenario and we should be sceptical. But it is entirely possible that she has used the sperm of the would-be baby buyers (I won’t use the term parents) at home or even had sex with one of them.

This is true, I did assume friends were women. However would you not have planned discussions about fertility windows etc.