Pregnant as a surrogate and the intended parents have changed their minds

[ConfusedandscaredHELP]

Hi everyone,

So I've never posted on here before, its not my thing...
But basically..
I agreed to be a surrogate for a friend who is in a same sex relationship...
It was a spur of the moment thing, yes I know thst sounds stupid as I've created a life, but I saw how much they longed for a child ...

Anyway the short version, I'm now pregnant ( quite far 😭 and they've decided they aren't ready for a child now!!

Well, neither am I!! 😭😭😭
Im petrified of giving birth, and then being stuck with a baby I dont want or dont feel any bond for as I drummed it into my head its not my baby.

Is it possible to find a couple now to take the baby or too late???

My family dont even know as I dont live too close and we are always in touch but via phones etc ... please help!
I really cant and dont want this baby, im sorry for people desperate for their own child as I feel horrible and selfish!!
I don't want to go down the social services adoption route as the poor baby is going to think it wasn't wanted and just taken when that wasn't the case. It wss planned and was a special helping beautiful gift for a couple that obviously couldn't have their own child

Any ideas???
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Kc
😖😖😖😖😖😖😖
Thanks for reading
Sorry if I offend anyone. I know how special and precious it is to be able to be pregnant, im Sorry

I agree but it’s amazing the situations people get into without contracts. It’s like the posts on here from people who have no shows for their piano lessons etc and they have no policy in place.

I can see how this would happen, some people just don’t think things through, which is why there should be laws to prevent it happening in the first place. If one of the couple is the father then presumably he’d have to consent to an adoption, I’m not sure how it works, but if it is true please go to the papers so everyone can see what shots they are and why surrogacy should be banned.

There are no legal protections in England

How could you possibly know it will have a fabulous life?

I actually think so many of these threads are completely made up rubbish...no doubt I'll get deleted for saying this as I did on a previous thread.
OP posted 7am for support and not a word back...it all sounds too far fetched.

Was going to say the exact same! You don’t become a surrogate through a ‘spur of the moment’ decision. All the possibilities of how this has all occurred to get to this moment are extremely unlikely. The fact OP has kept it all vague to keep everyone guessing at this made up story and has not returned to add any clarification I think shows it’s made up.

This is a form of human trafficking and needs to be banned.

This baby, who will now need to be adopted, is going to suffer such trauma in their lives if they learn their backstory.

Disgraceful.

Yeah exactly

Hell would freeze over before i would "gift" my baby or "a" baby to some random men. You have no idea if that child would be abused. Go to social services for God's sake.

Not much pre-surrogacy councilling went on here. Question such as what were the couple's intentions if the baby was very disabled can't have been answered as they actually can't be bothered with what (I assume) is a healthy baby. Babies are not a commodity.

Contact your midwife or GP and be completely honest. They are there for you too, not just the pregnancy.
Ask for a referral to a perinatal mental health team or a social worker experienced in surrogacy or complex pregnancies.
Speak to a specialist surrogacy organisation such as the UK Surrogacy Network or a family law solicitor experienced in surrogacy. They can explain your rights and options clearly.
If you feel unable to cope emotionally right now, you can also contact Samaritans (24/7, free) for immediate support.

Your instincts were correct.

But it obviously wasn't wanted, was it - by you its birth mother or by the same sex couple to whose whim you bended? This is what comes on not thinking things through properly. There will be legalities here with finding another couple - and I suspect there should have been legalities with the current pair. You need to talk to Social Services and tell them how daft you've been. That way you'll have some proper help, keep on the right side of the law and have some support if, when this baby comes, it's love at first sight and you decide you want it after all. You also need to tell your mother, because if you do change your mind you're going to need all the support that you can get. And as for the father, who I suspect is one of half of the no longer prospective parents, if he holds his child's life (or any child's life) so cheaply he can walk away before it's born, he's more then reprehensible and doesn't deserve ever to be a dad.

I don't think this is true. But if it is, i have zero sympathy for you. My sympathy lies with the poor baby

Daily mail have this story

Seriously! how about the couple who are now being charged with the 2023 sexual assault and murder of 13mth old Preston Davey. They cleared all of SS normal vetting and adoption processes. Clearly the suitability bar wasn't set high in that case.

100%. Banning the human trafficking of surrogacy would definitely have a knock on effect in lowering the number of these stupid women who go down the less formal route of human trafficking.

The human trafficking of surrogacy has been pushed hard by the left wing media for years now, and if it was talked about as it really is, stripping a baby of its mother for the gratification of selfish adults on a planet where we already have 8 billion people, some of these women would definitely think twice. Condoning it is never the answer, in any form.

The gay male couple. Yes, it does matter as there is a pattern which I won't be allowed to post about on this site, of gay male torturers purchasing access to children, or going down the adoption route and being handed babies to torture.

Indeed. They are monsters who should be executed. The main torturer filmed the baby he had just murdered, while the baby was dying.

Okay so find some lesbians? Or an infertile couple.

this poster has clearly stated that SHE doesn’t want a baby and yes I agree she’s completely screwed up by not doing things legally. I’m not encouraging other people to go and have a baby to give away,

im simply stating that in the current circumstances- ie this OP who is pregnant with a baby she never intended to keep, and the baby is coming one way or another she does have the option to find parents who will love and care for this baby

Is that what you would tell a child you’ve adopted?
the OP is already pregnant, the baby is coming one way or another. Shes saying she either can’t, or won’t be able to look after the baby and if she’s not going to I would prefer it went to someone who will care for it, someone who will love it and meet all of its needs. JFC!

if I was ever to adopt a child that’s the story I would tell them. “Your birth mother wasn’t able to care for you, and we feel so lucky to have you and that you could complete our family.”

this would be what I would say in all of the circumstances. If the Birth mother was raped, if the birth mother was a drug addict, if the birth mother was 15, because it’s not the kids fault!

@Sess249 but the adopted child also has the right to know who their biological dad is too. Adopted children now have the right and ability to know who their birth parents are. Many children are given details now of their circumstances when they are adopted. It’s not your story to tell, it’s theirs.

One tragic incident doesn't negate all the other successful products of the system. It's impossible to eliminate all risk in any situation. Using one example of a horrific outlier to evidence that the entire system doesn't work is bad science. Risk always exists, human nature is always going to produce aberrations, that doesn't mean the system doesn't work.

Adopted children should and MUST know their full life story. Telling them what you propose as a fudge to the reality is not acceptable and would not be sufficient. You realise that adopted children (for whom a sanitised version might be somewhat appropriate) grow up into adopted adults, who want, need, deserve and WILL have access to their full records and life story?

It depends on what the baby is wanted for. Not all wanna be parents have good intentions. They want access to a child. The naivety that exists is astounding.

It seems there are many paedos about who create a facade of wanting to be parents to access children for their sick gratification. Kids are handed to monsters in thr name of diversity to be abused. Yet people don't wish to see this until it's too late.

The idealistic view that all couples deserve to have a baby is ludicrous. They only want an accessory.

The same as so many teachers become teachers. Access to children is theor main goal and it's not tpneducare as they can't educate for shit. Knowledge doesn't make a good teacher. They want access to children for illicit reasons.

Daily paedo parents and teachers are exposed as paedophiles. Just watch out for the super nice will.do anything and be super friendly approach to gain trust. That's when the grooming starts.

Gay parents who have murdered the child np dount adopted the best personalities, friendly and loving nature. Nobody is that nice. Sickly sucking up is a red flag.

I don't believe this post is real. Who in their right mind would choose to get pregnant by a couple and hand over that baby to them? What mother could do that? I find it weird. The couple have allegedly changed their mind during the alleged pregnancy and no longer want the baby.

The carrier doesn't want the baby either. The only option would be to put the baby up for adoption through social services.

This story makes zero sense to me. I think some peopme just need a dose of retail therapy to obtain belongings not do this ludicrous shit.

The OP is on radio silence also. This has to be a wind up.