Going grey against the advice of pretty much everyone?

[Rainallnight]

I’m 51. Look ok for my age - not amazing, not awful.

I have at least 75% grey hair which I colour faithfully to maintain my original brunette.

However, I just feel like I’m done. With the hairdresser trips, the grey showing after about five days, the covering up, the expense.

I’ve been thinking of taking the plunge to go grey but everyone around me is dead set against it.

None of my friends have done and think it’s ageing (though none of them are as grey as me and don’t have the upkeep).

DP - who is a women and who does keep up her hair to be fair - says I’ll look old and it’s not fair on the kids (we are old parents).

DD also says I’ll look old and not fair on her.

Any thoughts? Experiences?

No, it's not ageing. It's what happens when we age.

It's ridiculous that we're expected as women to keep dyeing our hair well into our seventies because god forbid we might be getting older.

Yeah like others my mother religiously dyed her hair dark and the roots looked (in my personal opinion) worse than just white hair. I decided to never hide my white hair. It mostly just frames my face and personally I like it but I used to adore Caryn Franklin's hair on The Clothes Show growing up so it never struck me a old and frumpy but brave and fashion-forward.

You've just basically agreed with me. 😂

Hair being grey is 'ageing,' because it's associated with people ageing.

And I never said anyone should keep dying it forevermore.....

I just think (IMO) that women under 50 shouldn't have grey hair. (Or men!) It doesn't suit them and makes them look older than their age.

It's JMO. An opinion from a random on the internet... No need to get your panties in a bunch. Unclench. 😎

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I'm not agreeing with you. You're saying people look older with grey hair, but many women go prematurely grey and don't look older. It's not like their skin suddenly shrivels like a walnut shell the second the first grey hair sprouts! Saying any woman under 50 shouldn't go grey is preposterous.

And my panties are fitting just fine, thanks.

IMO, it DOES make people look older (going grey,) and moreso if they are under 50, and I am as entitled to that opinion as you are entitled to your opinion.

I'm not going to agree with you, so you may as well stop trying to make me.

And kindly STOP saying that I am saying it makes WOMEN look older.

I said women AND men.

Stop editing my posts to suit your agenda.

I have nothing more to say to you now...

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It astounds and disturbs me that some people were so offended by your choice of hair that they would actually complain to your boss. What on earth is that psychology?! I conform so everyone else must as well?! 🙄 Get a life, people!

I grew my dyed brown hair out five or six years ago now. Just went cold turkey. Took about 18 months to two years I think. I think some grey hair can be aging yes but I also think some dyed hair can look… well, crap.

Just let it grow out a few inches and see what you’re dealing with OP. You might need to go to a hairdresser and have fancy blending done or just go cold turkey. Or if you don’t like it, go back to dyeing.

Anyway I’m 60 in a couple of months and I’m glad I did it.

My hair was reddish brown, and like OP, I was spending a fortune keeping it covered. I finally decided I had had enough, and spent a very expensive day in the hairdressers, having all the colour stripped out and then my hair overlaid with a golden blonde colour. This allowed me to start growing out the grey, without severe contrast between coloured hair and roots.

For several years I continued to recolour, gradually going a lighter and lighter blonde each time. Currently, I have not coloured my hair for well over 12 months, and it is a mixture of dark grey and silver.

I have continued with hair that falls below my shoulders, and just have it layered. It helps to use one of the toning shampoos to keep the hair from looking yellow. No-one has ever negatively commented on my hair

And there's you accusing others of getting their knickers in a twist… 😂

I think your DP and DD saying those things is horrible. It's your bloody hair!

I'm 50 and am probably only about 10% grey but it's certainly noticeable.

Since I've stopped having balayage the condition and texture is so much better and the thickness has also improved.

I did use a semi-permanent box dye about 6 months ago and was planning to have it done properly for DD's graduation this summer but she likes the grey and tbh I'm on a tight budget and I can think of so many things I'd rather spend £150 on that I've decided to just let it go.

I’m 54 & have very dark brown hair. Decided to grow out the colour during Covid as the white was coming through within a week. I have scattered greys, & a solid white fringe area. Often get compliments as people think it’s dyed like that. Don’t miss the regular hair dye sessions, & condition is do much better too. Go for it. It’s your hair, your decision.

Your hair is just groovy, @PuppyMonkey ! It really shows off your amazing blue eyes! 😍

"that badger/mad, cranky, stripey witch look is awful, massively ageing, and looks haggard. " Great. That's me. I don't think I look haggard but I'm 65 so perhaps I do. I don't care. I've never had anyone make any comments on my hair, positive or negative, and I think it's quite weird that people actually do this.

I'm more inclined to see women who have embraced the grey as free spirits who've thrown off the shackles of conformity ❤️

I’m white and wear it in a bob. Get far more compliments now than when I dyed it blonde

What awful attitudes! I’d never dye my hair again if the people who are supposed to love me for me came out with this rubbish.

My hair went grey overnight in my twenties, when I found out my parents had died. I’ve never coloured it as I felt it was a last connection with them. Decades later, I still truly couldn’t give a monkeys what other people think. Stuff them.

That looks fine @PuppyMonkey (in your pic from 16.55 today,) but your hair as you have it there wouldn't suit everyone. Also it's easier to 'embrace the grey' when it's 100% grey. For many women it isn't, and it's just easier to put a mid-blonde or brown box dye on 6 times a year.

I have tried to let my small amount of grey grow through - I'm about 12-15% grey/85-88% medium/mousy blonde - a couple of times since I was about 53-54, and it looks awful. As I said earlier, it looks like I don't care how I look. I prefer to look smart, and would look scruffy with bits of grey dripping through my medium/mousy blonde hair

I would be interested to see what you looked like with brown hair. (Now.)

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I started greying at 19 and dyed it right up to my late 30’s, I hated dyeing by the end and resented spending time and money on it. If I hadn’t dyed it I’d have been fully grey as a young woman, so I think if a few of us start normalising grey hair at a younger age, it will soon no longer be “aging”. And as a PP said, men don’t have this eternal youth bullshit to contend with, so why do we?! I’m 43, proud of my grey hair and proud to be alive, some don’t make it to this age. At first my daughters didn’t like it but now a few years in they accept it and can see my POV with wanting to embrace the grey and ditch the (expensive, even at home) dye. Go for it if you want to, it’s your hair!!

I like that!

I’ve posted many a time on this sort of post. I had the choice taken away from me due to allergies but I still had negative comments from my mum and a few others. They said I would look ‘old’ etc and it really got me down because I literally had no choice and was already wobbly about it. But, I did it and I bloody love it.

I always say that I know I’m lucky because my hair is soft, shiny and silver whereas some people get wiry or dull etc and that can impact how they feel about it (not that I think there’s anything wrong with that either).

Anyway, there’s only one way to find out if it’s for you and that’s to give it a try! You can always go back to the dye if you really don’t like it.

More recent pic of me for reference. I’m 50 and don’t think I look too bad for my age.

As do plenty of others 😁

www.dazeddigital.com/beauty/article/45573/1/how-the-mallen-streak-became-a-sign-of-witchy-otherness-and-alt-girl-beauty

Why are people just wilfully ignoring the fact that the OP is only 75% GREY and not 100% grey as demonstrated on the photos on here?! I've noticed it's only the fully grey women who are posting pics of themselves. (I suspect it's maybe even dyed a bit to make it look even.)

For many women who are not fully grey, it is very hard to 'smash the patriarchy' and 'go against social norms blah blah blah' 😴 and 'embrace the grey!' How are you meant to do that if you have 70, 60, 50% or so of your original colour, because you have not gone fully grey yet?! Don't anyone try and tell me that this doesn't look a mess if it's half and half (and like you don't care about how you look,) because you will be kidding yourselves!

It does not make anyone superior because they don't dye their grey hair! Many women want to! Stop ripping into women who don't want to be grey haired at 38, 48, or even 58!

@WyrdHag those 'mallen streaks' in that link are dyed. 🙄

Why are you getting your knickers in a twist? I was probably only 70% grey when I first stopped dyeing. And as for dyeing it grey..erm no, not me. As that would trigger the pesky allergies I mentioned.

What a happy bunch of campers the grey haters are.

Our natural hair is usually what suits us best !

I thought woman would support women in this choice and not keep banging on about looking old , what a sin that is 😂

You can go grey whether you've got 10% or 100% – it's the giving up dye that matters. And it doesn't have to look a mess if you have regular trims and use anti-brass shampoos and treatments to tone down the dye as you grow it out.

I also don't see anyone ripping into women who don't want to go grey, but a lot of anger towards those who've embraced it whatever their %. It's bizarre it's winding you up so much!