Is 'dont wear white for a wedding' known about other than on here?

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I've always known it's not the thing to do but now I wonder if I read it on here - been here a looooong time!

I only ask because my DD's MIL is apparently wearing predominantly white for their wedding and DD thinks she doesnt know it's inappropriate. DD does know but possibly from listening to me!

FWIW neither of us are particularly bothered - I dont think it's like one of those MILs you see in the DM where it looks like an actual wedding dress but I wonder if other guests will be a bit 😯

It's a well-known thing. Nothing to do with mumsnet really.

She knows it’s inappropriate. Everyone knows

Yes, most people I know irl, (who I've actually discussed it with), know about it and avoid wearing white to weddings. It isn't a mumsnet only thing and it isn't a geographical or generational thing either.

That said, would I have got annoyed and kicked up a fuss if someone had worn white to my wedding? Definitely not.

I did once have an acquaintance who commented on it every time she saw a guest wearing white at a wedding. She once even approached someone wearing white at a wedding and told her it wasn't the done thing. That was weird and awkward. I would never wear white at a wedding anyway, but especially not if that acquaintance was there!

Bridesmaids and flower girls in ivory looks really nice and clearly isn't an issue as the bride has most likely chosen their dresses. I had a flower girl at my wedding who wore a white dress and my dd was a flower girl and also wore white.

Editing to fix typo!

Everyone knows this, including my MIL who was the only one who wore white to my wedding. In every photo there’s two of us in a white dress but one of us looked a lot better

It’s very well known and no doubt MIL would be aware!

I don’t think that’s really a thing like the white. Plenty of people wear black now with coloured accessories … and red, I would have said that was fine 🤷🏻‍♀️

Me neither. I didn't go to any weddings as a child I suppose (very small family and relatives living far away).

I’ve known of it since childhood (1980s) when my aunty turned up in white to my cousin’s wedding and was the talk of the town for months afterwards…the scandal! 😆

Irish Catholic background. Maybe it’s not such a ‘thing’ in other cultures, though?

Actually now you have said that so did my mum and it didn’t occur to me to be bothered. But I do know the rule.

My mother had never heard of it either. I wonder if it's a modern thing.

I've never heard this rule mentioned in my long life. Have only ever seen it on mumsnet.
Of course I would assume plain white is a no-no, but a floral dress with a white background was normal, I'm sure.

A floral dress with a white background still is normal.

It is the 'all white' that is taboo.

So you haven't seen the appalled comments when a patterned dress with some white is shown on here?!

I didn’t know and wore a block white dress to a wedding aged 19. No-one had ever told me!! Learned a lesson there - bride not happy.

No, but i rarely visit this board.

All white is a clear no, but plenty of people don't appreciate a white background either. People may not say it out loud, (to anyone's face), but some people don't like it. I personally don't care and wouldn't have cared at my own wedding, but enough people have an issue with it that I avoid it. It isn't particularly difficult to avoid.

And it isn't anything to do with being confused for the bride. It's just one of those traditions like throwing the bouquet or the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding. Or it's just one of those unspoken dress codes, like not wearing something sexy to a wedding, a christening or (God forbid) a funeral. It isn't a big problem if you break the tradition, but some people have a problem with it. If you have the confidence not to care then go for it, but I just don't see why you would do it, unless you literally own one occasion dress which is white, and no money to buy another and nobody to borrow one from.

Doing it by accident is totally different and that sums if the bride gets annoyed.

PS: I am also from an Irish Catholic background, so possibly these things are different elsewhere

Editing to fix typo

It’s been known for years , my grandma was furious when a guest wore a white dress and hat at my wedding over 40 years ago , i wasn’t fussed, she went on about it for years afterwards .

Oh good lord - I cannot type today!

Sums = sucks!

"predominantly white" is very different from just white, in my opinion.

I think the main thing is - does it look like you're trying to upstage the bride

If you're wearing a navy and white patterned dress, you'll look not at all bridal

On the other hand, the mother of the groom at one wedding I went to wore something that can only be described as a hooker's wedding dress. Tiny tight entirely white dress with towering white stilettos. Lots of make up. That's the sort of thing people mean.

It is a known thing.
Even at a casual wedding...
Women - Don't wear all white and do not wear all black (too mourning). Do not wear ultra mini skirt nor overly exposed cleavage nor bare shoulders in church, no jeans, t-shits, shorts..
Men - Don't wear all white suit, no unbuttoned shirts, no t-shirts, shorts, beanies, thongs or running shoes.

I think green is only supposed to be unlucky if you are the bride.

I have known all my adult life that it wasn’t the done thing to wear white (or black) to a wedding. I’m in my 60s, so that definitely predates Mumsnet!

I have a feeling that they are more relaxed about it in the USA than they are in the UK, but I may be wrong about that.

Yes the white/cream with a very definite pattern is odd. Lots of people wore that style to my wedding 24 years ago. I never even thought about it, one of our friends and DH Aunt did come in the same white and floral dress!
A completely white outfit would be odd at the many weddings I have attended.

I'm always surprised people don't know this. I assume they are the same people who 'reply all' to large group emails, don't acknowledge when somebody lets them into a line of traffic and/or show up to dinner parties empty handed. 😉

Your assumption is wrong on all counts😁

We can agree to disagree. That's polite. Which was my original point.