Is 'dont wear white for a wedding' known about other than on here?

[LeopardPrintFleece]

I've always known it's not the thing to do but now I wonder if I read it on here - been here a looooong time!

I only ask because my DD's MIL is apparently wearing predominantly white for their wedding and DD thinks she doesnt know it's inappropriate. DD does know but possibly from listening to me!

FWIW neither of us are particularly bothered - I dont think it's like one of those MILs you see in the DM where it looks like an actual wedding dress but I wonder if other guests will be a bit 😯

It's a thing yeah. As part of the general "don't upstage the bride" thing. And because you don't want to be mistaken for the bride.

My MIL wore head to toe white trouser suit to THW RECEPTION DINNER.

Fine, clearly not the bride, but… ffs!

She used to be an editor at US Glamor magazine. She knew. Some people are just dicks.

This reminded me of a wedding many, many years ago. I would have been 9 or 10 and walked with Mum past the church as the bride and groom were emerging. She was wearing a beautiful lemon dress.. I asked Mum why she was wearing yellow and was told to mind my own business. The penny dropped some years later - the bride was pregnant.

Haha I've only been to 3 weddings in my life, one when I was 4, one when I was 6 (wore white to both of those) and one when I was about 19 and I wore a black catsuit 😁

I have always known not to wear all white.

But only on Mumsnet have I seen that people aren’t allowed to have a floral skirt with white background or other such transgressions. I have also seen that you shouldn’t wear red, green, yellow, or black. The extreme rules are crazy. The latest was the hen weekend where over four days women were not allowed to even wear white trainers or a white vest.

What is the harm from wearing black or red then?

I’m sixty and it’s always been a thing. Absolutely nothing to do with mumsnet

black represents a funeral and I was always told not to wear bright red to a wedding as it represents the devil (that might just be my batty family though)

DD's MIL is being deliberately awkward (putting it politely).

I'd get her future DH to tell her a firm NO as it's very rude.

Black is for funerals and supposedly signals disapproval of the marriage even of it doesn't it is so strongly associated with funerals that it would jar. Again that's all black, black pattern or background or anything non-funereal would be OK. Green is supposed to be unlucky, red yes, I've heard of that too but can't remember why. Basically wear blue, yellow or patterns!

Not knowing about an etiquette rule doesnt mean it doesn’t exist.

My grandmother, who would be 115 if she was alive today, taught me you never wear white, black or green to a wedding.

However I did think MN does sometimes take it too far, the dress from the post this morning seemed to me to be fine. It wasn’t bridal and had plenty of bold colour in the pattern.

An the post the other day about not being able to wear white trainers or vest tops on a Hen weekend is ridiculous.

All things in moderation as always.

I went to a wedding where the MIL was wearing all black - it was very clear from her face that she absolutely did not approve. The bride took it all in her stride.

I was at a friend's wedding where one of her aunts wore a long, tight white dress, and was the subject of lots of gossip among guests, none of which were in any way flattering to her.

Gossip will be far worse if it's the grooms mother in white, she'll look like she really doesn't want to cut the apron strings.

I'm old and I never knew until I read it on here. The Queen and Sophie wore white at Charles and Camilla's wedding, someone did at mine now I look at my photos. I didn't think anything of it. If it isn't obviously a bridal dress I still wouldn't mind or notice even now.

Wow so many opinions! I've only met her twice and she seems perfectly nice so I dont think it's deliberate - I hope not anyway!

I'm comfiest in black but wouldn't wear it because I know it's supposed to signal disapproval and I'm very happy for my DD and her partner. I am wearing red but more off a maroon/burgundy so I hope that isn't offensive for one reason or another.

Reading some of the wedding/hen do stories on here makes me so glad my DD is incredibly chilled and hasn't set any rules or made any unreasonable demands - she's a rubbish bridezilla 😆

Yeah, I've been aware of the idea for years. I agree it should mean don't try to look bridal, not that anything white or largely white or off white or very pale is unacceptable.

Of course it is! It’s been a thing for years!

I’m from across the pond and of course it’s a thing. Never wear white to a wedding not black for that matter.

Ah two more 'universally known' rules I was unaware of until now. I always wear black to anything. I have a completely monochrome wardrobe.

My American friend always wears black to weddings. She said it’s almost the norm there?!

It is fairly well known. I didn't wear white to my own wedding so I wouldn't have cared if someone else did. It isn't a very flattering colour on a lot of people (including me) so it is slightly odd that it has clung on as a tradition.

46 here and it’s well known - as pp say, it’s not ‘no white’ but it’s avoiding a white dress and upstaging bride.

a lot of people do think rules like this don’t matter anymore though but that’s different to not knowing.

maroon/burgundy is fine I believe - it's more bright red that is unlucky

I have known about it forever but I would not worry about it for a guest who is much older than the bride because she's unlikely to appear as competition. So long as she doesn't add a veil and train!

I have worn black and red to weddings. I know two people who had black and white themed weddings and I know two brides who wore red.