Is 'dont wear white for a wedding' known about other than on here?

[LeopardPrintFleece]

I've always known it's not the thing to do but now I wonder if I read it on here - been here a looooong time!

I only ask because my DD's MIL is apparently wearing predominantly white for their wedding and DD thinks she doesnt know it's inappropriate. DD does know but possibly from listening to me!

FWIW neither of us are particularly bothered - I dont think it's like one of those MILs you see in the DM where it looks like an actual wedding dress but I wonder if other guests will be a bit 😯

Absolutely 💯

Don't wear ALL white to a wedding has been translated on MN as nothing with even the slightest bit of white anywhere, just the fact that a garment might have been in a shop next to something white is enough to see you banned from weddings for all time.

My Mil wore head-to-toe plain white at my wedding. Definitely a choice.
I had a darker coloured dress and she stood out a mile in all the photos.

A lot of the “you shouldn’t wear insert colour to a wedding” comes from originally an old rhyme, which actually really applies to the colour the bride wears, not the wedding guests.

Get married in green, you'll be ashamed to be seen.
Get married in white, you have chosen the right.
Get married in red, you'll rather be dead.
Get married in blue, you'll always be true.
Get married in brown you'll live out of town.
Get married in grey you'll live far away.
Get married in pink your spirit will sink.

Having said that, the wearing of black in western culture is seen as somewhat more in keeping with funerals than weddings, and bright, bold colours like red can look very “look at MEEEE!” on the photos. Not wearing white trainers to a hen party is complete and utter nonsense.

I was cornered at my wedding and asked quite savagely by two girls I only kind of knew had anyone said anything to another girl who they said was wearing a white wedding dress from Debenhams. I laughed and told them if they said anything I’d be more posted off with them and to stop being so dramatic!! People are ridiculous!!

I think its a fairly universal unwritten rule, but it doesn't bother some people. I definitely knew about it before or came here.

The whole of my life 75 years it was considered bad form to wear white or black to a wedding.

Not just on mumsnet - I see it everywhere and a lot on TikTok. No white anywhere, and any pale pastels get people outraged too.

I always knew wearing all/ predominantly white was not done. Also black although that’s much less of an issue these days I think, I’ve worn black to a few weddings and plenty of people wore black to mine. I would absolutely avoid anything even slightly white or champagne, ivory, cream or very pale pastels etc now as it seems to be even more strict than it once was!

Yes it’s always been a thing (as is no black for a wedding)
People on here take it a bit far sometimes though, I would say a white dress with a colourful pattern is completely fine for example

I’m in my 60’s and always known not to wear white at a wedding. I’m Scottish maybe it’s regional?

And yes the MIL knows exactly what she’s doing!!

I have been to lots of weddings where white has been worn by all ages and often by the mogs and mils. I know some people that definitely wouldn't wear it though.

Also, every wedding I go to, everyone gets dressed up to the nines and wears a hat/headpiece/fascinator. On mn it's seen as dated!

I'm in the US, lived in multiple areas, and I've known about it since I was young. Nobody here wears white to weddings unless they're trying to start something unpleasant.

I first heard it in the 80s as a child and several times since then. Honestly don't know how so many people apparently haven't heard of it, I've even seen it as a plot point in films and TV shows.

Some people get very offended about it and insist that it only happened since social media or something. I don't know why (can guess). But it's definitely a thing and has been for a very long time. Guests don't wear red to Indian weddings for the same reason and nobody seems to struggle with that or seek to find something that's only slightly red or whatever. They just wear literally any other colour except white as that's for mourning. Nobody finds it difficult or offensive or gets angry and insists it's not a thing.

Yep. And they invite people who don’t even know who the bride is, and the poor guests then get all confused because someone has a white background on their dress so must be the bride.

One of my best mates MILs wore this very extravagant white dress to the wedding. It was very awkward and she also got extremely drunk and started sobbing. I was the bridesmaid assigned to “keep an eye on her” as well and I ended up luring her outside by offering her a cig and then convincing her to “take a nap”.

I’ve always heard of it but I’m in my 20s so I think it’s been around all my life. I do remember my aunt saying it wasn’t a thing in her day. My mum and dad’s wedding was fancy dress so it wasn’t an issue for them.

Definitely a known thing- I think cream is ok though as both Camilla and Kate wore cream to Harry’s wedding unless they were making some kind of point.

I knew about the white but only heard of the black, red and green no-nos from MN!!
I’ve often seen those colours at weddings tbh.

It’s a thing, but it originated from photography rather than looking too bridal. Old fashioned entirely manual cameras would focus principally on the brightest part of the frame - usually the lady in white in the middle! If there were other people in white, it became difficult to focus on a large group and keep attention on the B&G.

But yes, it has passed into etiquette, even in the era of autofocus.

Never heard the red thing.

So no black, no white, no red, no green. Nothing even on a red/black/green/white background. Maybe guests should just be issued sacks in a uniform shade of sludge grey?

You forgot nothing too light, eg cream or champagne or pale yellow! 😅

It's a big thing in America because they wear evening dresses to weddings, wearing a floor length white gown is always going to look bride-like. And because it was a no go in the US, that's why it's in so many films.

It wasn't a big thing in the UK because we wear daytime formal clothes to weddings. It certainly was never 'don't wear a floral dress with a light coloured background' which some people on here seem to think even though all the shops are full of dresses like that for wedding season.

Growing up (I'm in my 50s) I knew that green was historically considered unlucky (my Mum's bridesmaids wore green and apparently some of my grandparent's generation were disapproving of her choice). Mum said 'it's my favourite colour so that's what they are wearing'.

Black is associated with funerals so is considered inappropriate for weddings. I've seen some on here say red means you've had a fling with the groom.

Basically it's all ridiculous and I don't know about anyone else but I can't remember what most people wore to mine 26 years ago unless I particularly liked their outfit.

I've always known the "don't wear white to a wedding" rule, but I thought that MiLs could wear very pale, bridal-type outfits, as they are special guests and would never be confused for the bride?

What colours does MN say you CAN wear at a wedding?

Never given it a thought. I don't think I've worn something white to a wedding but I wouldn't think anything of anyone who did.

I wouldn’t. I think it looks attention seeking.

I’m old but have known since I was a child. The MIL will definitely know this.