Is 'dont wear white for a wedding' known about other than on here?

[LeopardPrintFleece]

I've always known it's not the thing to do but now I wonder if I read it on here - been here a looooong time!

I only ask because my DD's MIL is apparently wearing predominantly white for their wedding and DD thinks she doesnt know it's inappropriate. DD does know but possibly from listening to me!

FWIW neither of us are particularly bothered - I dont think it's like one of those MILs you see in the DM where it looks like an actual wedding dress but I wonder if other guests will be a bit 😯

I have definitely never heard THAT rhyme before.

At a recent wedding I attended, the mother-of-the-bride wore a white dress. It was obviously okayed by her daughter in that case though.

I remember my mum explaining this was a hard and fast rule when I was early teens and shopping for an outfit for a family wedding. It's definitely not just on here.

What the ladies of Mumsnet think is or isn't suitable for a wedding on here blows my mind, I've seen some hideously casual suggestions celebrated and some perfectly lovely dresses get slammed on here. The whole style and beauty section blows my mind every time I'm on here to be honest! So I don't take a lot of it seriously and assume a lot of it is Mumsnet only!

My grandma wore a lovely white skirt and blazer to my mums wedding many years ago (her daughter in law), she looked gorgeous (navy accessories) and given the length of the skirt (mid length) formality of the blazer and the fact she was nearly 30 years older she obviously didn't get mistaken for the bride or looked like she was trying to be the bride! My mum never thought anything of it until a few years ago she suddenly realised her mother in law wore white to her wedding. I don't get the fuss, as long as it isn't floor length, or some big tulle or excessively lacey thing, there really shouldn't be an issue. I'd never heard of the red thing until Mumsnet either.

And of course even then this dress still stole the show!

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/fashion-trends/a20901371/janina-gavankar-royal-wedding-reception-interview/

I'm 66 and Scottish. Never given it a thought. Never heard of it.

@Lomonald

Of it is known outside of mumsnet,

Exactly. Most people I know, know about this ... I got married in the 1990s, (and so did my 3 female cousins,) we all got married within 7 years of one another, and it was a well documented thing then: you do NOT wear white to a wedding, unless you're the bride. It's disrespectful and attention-seeking.

Younger women I know (born in the 1980s and 1990s,) have had weddings over this past 5 to 10 years and they said the same .. NO-ONE is to wear white. I went to weddings in the 1970s and 1980s too (family members and neighbours weddings) and the 'rule' was there then too. It is not new, nor is it 'just Mumsnet!'

Yes, this completely covers it.

The MN “is this too white for a wedding” threads where the dress is a floral day dress on a light background are utterly ridiculous imo.

Don’t wear something that looks bridal, and dress for the occasion are the rules. A lot of suggestions on here look like bridesmaids dresses to me, but I think that’s come about because of the popularity of getting married in a “wedding venue” which seems to have muddied the waters about what sort of an occasion a wedding is, i.e. a daytime occasion which often follows through into an evening party.

My sister’s MIL turned up in white to sister & BILs wedding, in Scotland, over 40 years ago. It was definitely frowned on at that point.
My friend chose white for her own daughter’s wedding. She mistakenly (?) thought her daughter had OK’d it. It did not go down well.

The only colour ‘rule’ I had heard is that, if your younger sister marries first, you have to wear a green, rather than blue , garter. Nothing like shaming a woman for not ‘catching ‘ a man young enough.

No, they were pale yellow. Indoor photos show the colour better. But in bright sunlight they did look white, so it probably was a misjudgement.

My wedding dress was black. The black, red and green rule is complete nonsense.

Nooooo I’ve never heard of this, tell me it’s not true (just bought a green dress)

Yes, everyone knows not to wear white to someone else’s bloody wedding. Not wearing red is less known.

Well clearly it's not universally known as even on this one thread, many people have said they only found out about it later in life!

It's not true.

It's basic etiquette, hardly something invented by MN.

I have never ever heard of the green thing! I wore green as an evening guest recently and there were a couple of people in the same bottle/emerald green, I think that shade was having a moment. No-one batted an eyelid apart from a couple of mentions about it being a popular colour!

I'm so glad all my friends and family are done with getting married for now. The whole process seems like a ridiculous minefield of whatever 'influencers' are banging on about on social media, and extraordinarily expensive, rule ridden stags and hens! It used to be about celebrating the love of the couple with all the friends and family that helped get them to that stage of their lives.

It’s always been poor etiquette to wear white to someone else’s wedding.

I wonder what Geri Halliwell/Horner wears to weddings 🤔

Just looked and 12 people wore white dresses to my wedding - a full 10% of the attendees - that was 2000. I didn't care, I didn't know it was a thing. I find the obsession with it bizarre - unless it is a bridal gown, that would obviously be a no-no 😂

I didn't know until I wore white trousers to a hot, summer wedding many years ago. Then someone told me I shouldn't have.
It's a pretty rule if you ask me. It's quite clear who the bride is.

Guests can wear green. It's unlucky for the bride or her bridesmaids to wear green.

Oh shit the bridesmaids are in green - it's doomed!

I do actually think this has partly to do with the tradition for wearing evening dress for weddings - look at Victoria/Harper Beckham at Gordon Ramsey's daughter's wedding, they weren't in white but could easily have been mistaken for bridesmaids. I prefer the English tradition of smart daywear but then I dont suit a satin nightie at all.

I'm going to have great fun people-watching and ticking my MN bingo card on the day 😈

I wore a white trouser suit to a wedding 25 years ago and wouldn’t hesitate to wear it again (if it fitted!). Huge black hat and striped black and white top. (Andi McDowell in 4 weddings 😂) There’s no way I was getting confused with the bride considering they wore giant meringues in the 90s.

I just checked mine from 2015, there's a picture of me with my 3 closest female uni friends, 1 is in white with a scattering of black flowers, one is in black and one is in cream! How did I ever forgive this atrocity! There are also 3 people in red 2 blazers one coat and dress (it was a winter wedding) also another in black and another in a white blazer. What terrible friends and family I have!😄

I feel like it’s been more of a thing since social media. My bridesmaids, flower girls, DM and MIL were all in ivory for our wedding. The pics were lovely!