Is 'dont wear white for a wedding' known about other than on here?

[LeopardPrintFleece]

I've always known it's not the thing to do but now I wonder if I read it on here - been here a looooong time!

I only ask because my DD's MIL is apparently wearing predominantly white for their wedding and DD thinks she doesnt know it's inappropriate. DD does know but possibly from listening to me!

FWIW neither of us are particularly bothered - I dont think it's like one of those MILs you see in the DM where it looks like an actual wedding dress but I wonder if other guests will be a bit 😯

I've known it since I was a kid I think (grew up in Ireland and am 49 now). It's been known forever as one of those wedding etiquette things.

It's always been a thing. MIL is being weird.

If DD doesn't mind then I wouldn't bother, but I did have a few guests get highly incensed on my behalf when someone wore a white dress to my wedding (it was short, not at all bridal and she'd sent me a pic to check it was ok). So people might raise a few eyebrows.

Everyone knows this. Your dd's MIL will know this too.

Yes. It is definitely a Known Thing.

I don't understand why people get tricky about not wearing white to a wedding. They have literally every other colour to choose from.

It’s definitely a general thing.
Not only on MN.

In my 50s and been to many weddings. Never worn white because I never do, but I had no idea it was a no-no until I read it here.

Your dd MIL knows full well you don't wear white to another persons wedding.

Two people wore white trousers suits to my wedding and looked fab. I definitely think it’s become a stricter rule since then (over 20 years ago) so it’s quite possible MIl isn’t aware.

Does it matter? If dd doesn’t care I don’t see the problem- it’s a small dress code issue not some major taboo. No one is going to think MIl is the bride!

Definitely not just a MN thing.

There a J Lo & Jane Fonda film Monster in Law where Jane Fonda plays a nightmare mother in law, and one of the nightmare things she does is wear white to the wedding. So it’s clearly well known enough to put it as a thing in a movie where you expect viewers to understand “she’s done this because she’s a cow”.

Unless MIL is from a part of the world where it’s not a thing then MIL absolutely knows and is being unhinged

In Derry Girls, Aunt Sarah wore a striking white outfit to a wedding, but it was in complete disregard of social etiquette, and she was unconcerned by other guests’ shocked reactions!

I don't think I knew about it until I came on here. But I did know that you are not supposed to wear green to a wedding. Brings bad luck or some such nonsense.

My mum wore a cream suit to my wedding (many, many years ago!). I didn't even think about it - and I can't remember what colours anyone else wore. I think weddings are all getting a bit out of hand with all the rules. However, when my granddaughter gets married next year, I promise not to wear white - not least because I have white hair and would look like a ghost!

No, it's not just on here. It's pretty much universal knowledge, that you don't wear white to a wedding unless you're the bride. It's seen to be attention seeking, and suggesting you want to upstage the bride. Why on earth would ANY guest wear white to a wedding?

Some people post pedantic posts and say 'am I not allowed a BIT of white on my dress/outfit then?!' but anything that is more than a third white needs binning (as an outfit choice for a wedding) to be honest. Why would ANYone do it when they know it's rude?

My partner’s ex wife wore white and a hat the size of a small planet at their daughter’s wedding. She knew what she was doing.

Bride only wearing white has been a 'thing' since 1840 when Queen Victoria started the trend by wearing white to her wedding.
MIL knows exactly what she is doing.

Same.

I heard it for the first time aged 33! I wasn't aware of it before then. I wouldn't have cared at all if someone had worn white to my wedding.

This is the MIL cat equivalent of spraying everywhere. She’s marking her territory in a weird way. I’d be bloody concerned as it’s a huge red flag to me.

I’ve known about throughout my adult life, years before I found MN or any other SM.

White is reserved for the bride.

It isn’t about the dress looking ‘bridal’ or being mistaken for the bride. And it includes not being an eye catching splash of white in the photos.

Oh she absolutely knows she shouldn't be wearing all white ! Of it is known outside of mumsnet, I once saw a picture of a mil and her new Dil and the mum was wearing a "champagne" lacey dress!

My Mil wore cream to my wedding. She is a tricky mother in law but this wasn’t a problem, it was a very nice and appropriate outfit.
No white has become more of a rule in recent years, I’ve seen on here women being told they can’t wear a floral dress if it has a white background, which is ridiculous. Basically trying to “upstage” the bride is considered bad manners, so anything that looks like a wedding dress, or that is extremely revealing in some way. White or cream could be fine if it was a jacket, a suit or something very clearly not bridal worn with coloured accessories. All white that looks more bridal is a no.
The big no no when I was growing up was wearing black. All black is for funerals, so a way of showing intense disapproval.

Genuinely had no idea - and yes, I did wear a floral dress with white base (and white jacket too) to a wedding when I was young.

Didn't wear white at my own wedding though.

I did know the 'don't wear green to a wedding, it's unlucky' though.

I'm in my 60s and I don't remember the fanaticism about this until the last 30 years. Originally it was a US thing and the rule was "don't dress like the bride in a white dress" - so bridal looking full length white/cream outfits were out so you didn't get mistaken for the bride. But some seem to take it much further these days to veto any outfit with any bit of white in it - which is bonkers

It has been taken to absurd lengths by some - there have been posts in the last 24 hours where a bride banned white trainers on the hen do, and people telling a poster that they couldn't wear a large pattern purple/pink floral dress to a wedding because the background was white - these are WAY beyond the original rule

I’m 60 and I’d never heard of this as a thing until I read it on here about ten years ago. But it meant don’t wear a white lacy ball dress, not don’t wear white anything.