I stopped dyeing my hair in 2021… but it makes me utterly miserable. Should I stick it out or dye it again?

[Greyyyybeornot]

I am about 30-40% grey, all the front of my head. I stopped dyeing it in 2021 because the dyeing every 10 days was driving me crazy. And I also wanted to normalise going grey.

(I’m 45, for context.)

Anyway, I think about my hair NON STOP. I hate having grey hair. It makes me feel so old and ugly. I want to not be ageist and like it , but I’m finding it hard.

I also really don’t want to go back to dyeing it every two weeks and those tiny silver roots looked awful.

What would you all advise?

How to I either come to terms with being grey at 45? Or do I just go dark brown again?

Help!!! It’s really bothering me. I think about it nonstop. I’m sometimes surprised by my reflection / photos of me (and not in a good way).

At one point, the hairdresser gave me highlights which made me blondish, which also didn’t feel like “me”.

I miss my almost-black hair. It felt part of my identity for so long!

Anyone been through the same?

I don't use Plantur actually very often and I might not re-buy,

John Friend Brunette conditioner is great though. I highly recommend it. It tints the grey and it's a lovely silvery blonde/brown.

If you buy one thing make it the JF conditioner.

It washes out, of course, but when used regularly it deepens a bit.

Yes it’s the plantur brown one. I did toy with the blonde one but on the basis of this thread went brown, the greys just look like little blonde highlights
I had clumps of grey and it’s taken quite well especially for one wash.
I’ve never dyed my hair at home and frankly I’m too scared to fuck it up. this looks really good though.

I saw the John freder one in sainsburys. I nearly got it. I have a really itchy scalp so I’m not sure how sustainable it is, so it’s good to know the conditioner is good on its own.

I think there might be two different John Frieda products, the brilliant brunette specifically says that no colour is deposited. Defy grey is the one I need I think.

Yes it's John Frieda Defy Grey. I like it a lot.

Sorry, it was in the Brilliant Brunette until recently.

It’s defy Grey now.

I checked and the full name is JF Defy Grey Brilliant Brunette.

Not every choice a feminist makes is a feminist choice. Not all the choices you make will be feminist choices. More importantly - in a patriarchy? It’s not women who are the problem.

I’m so tired of posts like this. Everything women do is wrong, to someone. We’re always falling short.

John freida defy shampoo shampoo now added to internet order…