I stopped dyeing my hair in 2021… but it makes me utterly miserable. Should I stick it out or dye it again?

[Greyyyybeornot]

I am about 30-40% grey, all the front of my head. I stopped dyeing it in 2021 because the dyeing every 10 days was driving me crazy. And I also wanted to normalise going grey.

(I’m 45, for context.)

Anyway, I think about my hair NON STOP. I hate having grey hair. It makes me feel so old and ugly. I want to not be ageist and like it , but I’m finding it hard.

I also really don’t want to go back to dyeing it every two weeks and those tiny silver roots looked awful.

What would you all advise?

How to I either come to terms with being grey at 45? Or do I just go dark brown again?

Help!!! It’s really bothering me. I think about it nonstop. I’m sometimes surprised by my reflection / photos of me (and not in a good way).

At one point, the hairdresser gave me highlights which made me blondish, which also didn’t feel like “me”.

I miss my almost-black hair. It felt part of my identity for so long!

Anyone been through the same?

My friend is in her early 60s and has been grey for years. She has pink or light purple colour put at the front/top/fringe - not describing it well but it looks amazing and she is a very stylish woman.

I think everyone saying they like the OP's hair is getting confused by the 'thread gallery' thing. The OP hasn't posted any photos of her hair!

Dye it. Grey hair makes you look very much older.

At 45 you’re far young to be grey. In my opinion nobody under 80 looks good with grey hair and you should definitely dye it.

Grey hair is definitely ageing. I was introduced to someone with 70% grey hair and assumed she was in her early 50s, she was 40!

I'd recommend gradually going lighter. It's easier to manage and will be softer on your face.

In a weird inverse way, very dark hair on those 60+ is equally ageing as there's such a disconnect between the youthful hair colour and their mature skin. Also grey re-growth is so stark against dark hair which doesn't look nice.

Yes, but it is also miserable having to dye your hair all the time.

Surely the small inconvenience of dyeing is worth it so you don’t feel miserable about yourself? There are lots of blending techniques or options available. Or get it dyed lighter so the roots aren’t as obvious.

Apart from over 80s, I don’t think anyone looks better with grey hair. People can post all the photos they like and others will say ‘it looks great’ out of politeness, but grey hair does nothing for most people.

I've been doing it for 25 years and I'm not miserable.

Apart from over 80s, I don’t think anyone looks better with grey hair. People can post all the photos they like and others will say ‘it looks great’ out of politeness, but grey hair does nothing for most people

This is quite true.

I know this isn't the point of the thread and probably isn't a helpful comment at all, but I love, love LOVE your hair and think it looks absolutely bloody amazing exactly as it is. I'm a similar age, mine is reddish brown, long and very wavy; maybe 5% grey (all at the parting) but I'm jealous of yours.

I agree 💯 @TheShellBeach

My husband (out of house but alerted by security camera) sent a text yesterday to the family group chat saying ‘can someone answer the door? There’s an old lady knocking and she’s been there for ages’.

I checked footage. It was a neighbour. She’s let her hair go grey. We’re going to her 50th next month.

OP do what makes you feel good .. I'm in the dying your roots every 10 day too ... but I'm not ready to be grey and don't think I ever will ... I have friends who have embraced the grey and are always trying to get me to go grey ... But it's a nope from me , I think it's very aging however they dress it up it ages them

I'd dye it with wash out pastle purple, blue or pink.

I've had waaaaay more (unsolicited, genuine) compliments on my hair than any other time in my life - sometimes from complete strangers! It is a 'nice' grey as I had dark hair and I use a purple shampoo so it's basically the colour everyone was dyeing it a few years ago. I definitely look better than I did with home-dyed hair and there was no way I could afford the salon every 2 weeks!

I personally think your hair looks ok! But it's a personal choice - how much do you hate it over hating having to dye it so often? I know people who have grown in the most amazing colour white/grey colour and think they are so lucky! Mine I grew out in lockdown and the demarcation line looked terrible (was highlighted blonde previously) - looks better now because I have lots of different natural colours not just dark with grey smattering. I also have some really light white blonde put through the fringe and sides just to frame my face so doesn't feel too drab and only a few times a year. I have seen lots of grey blending videos in TikTok and the like - maybe that could be an option a few times a year instead of dyeing at home every 2 weeks? I do feel I look a bit older than a lot of family and friends who still dye their hair but I have kept my trim size 10 figure and can wear younger clothes etc so feel I look a bit younger in that way than people who dye their hair but have menopausal spread etc so swings and roundabouts! Think weight gain ages people more than grey hair tbh.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else does or thinks, it’s up to you what you like. Don’t let it go grey to try and force some idea that you should because of x, y or z,, and then be miserable. You are the one who has to look at yourself everyday.

I personally wouldn’t go grey as I like my colour and like having it done, but that is my choice. A relative of mine has started to let her grey grow out, her hair is very coarse and dry and now it’s about 20% down it’s surprisingly aged her and I don’t think it suits her, but it’s her choice what she does with her hair and she’s happy with how she looks so that’s all that matters!

Just to add the photo where your hair is down with the black biker type jacket makes you look younger so maybe address your clothes too to make you feel a bit youthful?

I’m in my fifties and get my hair dyed (at hair dressers). It’s well overdue now, and I feel old because of it.

Gosh people are really negative about the grey hair… Imagine if people were half this critical about not being a size 6/8 and not constantly crash dieting, or not getting Botox and letting your wrinkles shine through… 😬

Might sound counter productive to ‘growing old gracefully’ but what about some beauty treatments? Some nice deep facials? Are you fit/healthy do you look after yourself otherwise?
Every (younger) greying lady who I’ve seen let their grey go natural I think look beautiful.. so maybe your self -esteem needs a boost rather than changing your hair ?

You're lucky then. But I assume that the OP let her grey grow through because she couldn't be bothered to dye it. The same reason I did and mine looks nowhere near as nice as hers.

I also had dark brown hair, the maintenance was too hard so I am now blonde. I’m 51 and no way ready to embrace the grey yet.

check out this page on Instagram she’s a grey blending specialist. She recommends using demi hair dye apparently it makes your greys look like highlights and there’s no harsh grow out lines.
shes super expensive, no hate she seems to get booked up but I won’t be visiting her but thinking of asking my hairdresser to try something similar

https://www.instagram.com/rosiebaylishair?igsh=MTg0cTV5dnlxYjk3MQ==

I don't think the OP has posted photos or have I missed them?