I stopped dyeing my hair in 2021… but it makes me utterly miserable. Should I stick it out or dye it again?

[Greyyyybeornot]

I am about 30-40% grey, all the front of my head. I stopped dyeing it in 2021 because the dyeing every 10 days was driving me crazy. And I also wanted to normalise going grey.

(I’m 45, for context.)

Anyway, I think about my hair NON STOP. I hate having grey hair. It makes me feel so old and ugly. I want to not be ageist and like it , but I’m finding it hard.

I also really don’t want to go back to dyeing it every two weeks and those tiny silver roots looked awful.

What would you all advise?

How to I either come to terms with being grey at 45? Or do I just go dark brown again?

Help!!! It’s really bothering me. I think about it nonstop. I’m sometimes surprised by my reflection / photos of me (and not in a good way).

At one point, the hairdresser gave me highlights which made me blondish, which also didn’t feel like “me”.

I miss my almost-black hair. It felt part of my identity for so long!

Anyone been through the same?

@Foundanotherwrinkle , you don’t look in your 50s so all the talk of grey aging people by a decade is obviously not true….at least not for everyone.

To repeat a pp, the OP hasn’t posted photos of her hair - mumsnet has a new gallery feature where it puts all photos from a post under the OP!

If grey hair is making you miserable, dye it.

I have a grandmother in her 90s who still dyes her hair. She isn’t doing it to look young - she’s clearly elderly - she does it because the colour looks better on her than grey does, and makes her feel better!

No, some other poster put up photos of herself and people are confused and think that's the OP.

I've seen loads online recently about hairdressers who specialise in grey blending and work in your natural colour and your grey. It also means you don't need your roots doing often which I like. Maybe that's an option?

I've also missed them!

The Plantar 39 that has been mentioned (I think it was this thread😊)-is that for dyed hair?

Maybe I'm in a minority, but I admire people who have long hair that's gone grey. I cycle to work and often see a couple of women cycling with long grey hair. I have long hair and plan not to dye it when the grey becomes noticable - early 60s with less than 5% grey so far.

Of course I may change my mind as the grey increases 😁

Mate, if you hate having grey hair then dye it!

And you can use semi-permanent at home if you want to check how the dye works and not spend lots of money at the hairdresser.
It's your hair and your feelings. Dye the bugger if it makes you happy.

Yes but 45 is not middle aged any more. It's still young. I get it. She hates it.

I really recommend inoa glow. It's permanent dye but with high translucency and you don't get that harsh block colour that shows roots straight away. l use i think 28N and its a light ashy brown. I mix it with the inoa normal dye but if you use it on It's own it's a nice in between grey and dyed colour that may work well for you.

I know it's an ageist society and I hate that.
But the OP, for whatever reason, hates her gray hair. She should therefore do wants she wants with her own hair. It's not her responsibility to cure society of ageism.

Life's far too short to be so deeply unhappy over something that you can easily change. If you hate your grey hair, just dye it and feel amazing again! My hairdresser says that virtually all of her clients who tried grey have now started colouring their hair again so you're certainly not alone.

We all know that. But that doesn't mean an individual doesn't have to right to dye her hair because she hates being grey. For whatever reason, she hates it. It's her hair.
I wish I were not conditioned to dislike my gray hairs and hairs on my legs, but I am. So I dye my hair and shave my legs.

Haven't read the full thread but if nobody has said it yet, L'Oréal instant retouch is a complete game changer. Means I can go 5-6 weeks between getting it done instead of 2-3.

Also my hairdresser does a "quick retouch" which is £20 and only covers the front and parting so I do one of those every other time, and then a full cover every other time which makes it cheaper.

The poster with the photos is clearly much older than the OP who's only 45.

I genuinely think it looks fabulous but that doesn’t matter, you hate it

Go to a good hairdresser and ask their advice. Instead of going blonder you could try dark “lowlights” which would cover most of the grey but not make regrowth too obvious. That won’t cover all of it tho. Or go back to your natural dark brown but use those “pens” in between dyes?

I have a lot of grey and am struggling with roots within three weeks of dying it. I’ve seen a lot on instagram about grey blending techniques - I think it’s quite specialised but seems to work really well. It looks like working with your natural colour rather than against it

@MNHQ This thread gallery thing is incredibly confusing. It very much looks like the photos belong to the OP.

I think it depends on your skin tone and make up/clothes as well. If you go red lip and sassy then it’s much less ageing than a Joules frock and cardi. It’s only hair at the end of the day, if it makes you miserable then dye it.

The actress Hilarie Burton Morgan (42 yrs old) is letting her grey grow out: https://www.instagram.com/Hilarieburton/

I do think it ages her up a bit, but she is still a beautiful woman.

Yes. wtf is the point of the thread gallery if it’s not even the OP?

I can't bring myself to embrace the grey, still natural dark brown at 47.

I'm not at all vain, but when I do my white roots and look in the mirror, I just feel like me again.

OP: You must have quite a lot of regrowth now, which gives you more options about going back to old colour, going lighter, getting highlights or some other form of blending in regrowth. I think you should go to a hairdresser and look for a solution that suits you in terms of time and cost.

Definitely not politeness from me. I love the poster’s hair that put up her pictures.

@MNHQ doesn't exist BTW.
Nobody sees posts addressed in that way.