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Original poster

Rated a '4' by men in the pub last night. How can I glow up?

242 replies

MsFrog · 17/02/2023 10:50

Walked past some men last night who were rating women. I know they are dicks, I know it's disgusting behaviour, but it's made me feel completely shit. I mean, I was out with my kids for a pub tea, so I had put zero effort in. But I do look crap most of the time and I feel like my husband must be ashamed of me. Other mums manage to look nice, so having young kids is no excuse.

I'm not really used to doing hair/make up/ being stylish. Any easy tips to feel a bit better about myself?

OP posts:
FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 17/02/2023 11:31

Let me guess.
They all had shaved heads and looked like thumbs.
It's easy to say put it out of your head. If you need to attach an emotion to it, attach anger and outrage.
You'd think the world had grown up a but, it seems not.

WhereAreWeNow · 17/02/2023 11:33

Oh that's horrible OP. I'm so sorry those arseholes ruined your meal and have got into your head and made you feel shit about yourself. You don't need to change anything, they do. 💐
As others have said, I bet these blokes weren't much to look at and, more importantly, they're clearly really horrible, cruel, shallow, judgemental people.
This kind of thing makes me so angry. What kind of arseholes behave like that?

LaDamaDeElche · 17/02/2023 11:34

God some men are so vile. Sitting about rating women is just 🤮. It's even more vile, if that's even possible, to be rating a mum with her kid. I pity the women who end up with these fuckwits.

MontanaSapphire · 17/02/2023 11:34

I'd have been tempted to turn around, look who'd spoken up and down, then look him
right in the eye, and said firmly "2". Then never given any of them a second thought. Pricks.

RudsyFarmer · 17/02/2023 11:36

I was walking about with my 2 year old, just to keep him amused. I saw them looking at a woman in front of me, who was really pretty, and then I heard them say "definitely an 8". And then I walked really close by the table and they all looked at me really obviously, I made eye contact with one of them. He turned back to his mates and said "4" and they laughed. Writing it out, it's so clear that they are total arseholes and I hate that I've let it get to me so much.

Ouch. I completely understand your feelings now you’ve written that out. Out of interest how fit and handsome we’re the guys eating you?

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 17/02/2023 11:36

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 17/02/2023 11:28

he said 4 to ‘punish’ you for making eye contact…

This.

Really sorry you encountered these idiots op. It is hard to believe it isn’t personal, I know, but it’s truly not.

RudsyFarmer · 17/02/2023 11:36

*rating 😳

LaDamaDeElche · 17/02/2023 11:37

MontanaSapphire · 17/02/2023 11:34

I'd have been tempted to turn around, look who'd spoken up and down, then look him
right in the eye, and said firmly "2". Then never given any of them a second thought. Pricks.

Best response!! 😁

MavisFlump · 17/02/2023 11:39

I wouldn’t give such gormless, repugnant oils a second of my time, let alone bother with their puerile comments.

MavisFlump · 17/02/2023 11:39

OIKS FFS!

RadioactiveWear · 17/02/2023 11:40

I think your time would be better spent working in your comebacks

e.g. “4, is that how big your dick is? 4cm”

Sugargliderwombat · 17/02/2023 11:42

That's so so so nasty. I'm sorry op! For what it's worth they will have just said it as a nasty joke to look like some big funny men in front of their prick mates.

Maireas · 17/02/2023 11:43

MavisFlump · 17/02/2023 11:39

I wouldn’t give such gormless, repugnant oils a second of my time, let alone bother with their puerile comments.

Absolutely. Any nasty response, however justified, will be taken as proof that they've riled you. Just ignore.

cocopops11 · 17/02/2023 11:44

Generally jerks like this who shout the loudest and feel the need to put other people down are not oil paintings themselves. Their comments say far more about them than they do about you. It's hard not to, but please try not to internalise these misogynistic comments

Beamur · 17/02/2023 11:44

It really says more about them than you.
Only change your appearance if you want to.

MrsJackGrealish · 17/02/2023 11:45

Why do you care what some random pricks in a pub think?

You arent there for the perfect, prim viewing of men, and you should only glow up if you want to.

If you arent fussed about make up etc, then dont force yourself to be to please men.

Yfront · 17/02/2023 11:46

I found have found this really horrible too. It's disgusting of them to 'rate' anyone any number, even if they'd said you were a 10 it's absolutely horrible behaviour.

I remember being out a bar with a few friends once and it was busy so those in the queue for a drink just started chatting. Nothing major just chit chat while we waited. One guy asked who I was here with and when I said a group of friends he asked if they were 'all dogs too'. I was absolutely shocked and very upset, I phoned my husband to collect me and cried on the way home. It was just so unnecessary and spiteful. Ugh.

Try not to take it to heart. Those arseholes should be ashamed of themselves, not you.

WinterFoxes · 17/02/2023 11:46

Please challenge your own thinking.
You want to 'glow up' so that repulsive misogynistic men have a higher opinion of you? Are you sure about that? ]
Why? Why do you want to attract and be visually pleasing to misogynistic vermin strangers?
What else could you choose to think when you pass some boneheaded arseholes in a pub? How about you judging them? Where do they score in your Basic Male Acceptability chart? (Hint: You are allowed to score in negative figures.)

NotQuiteUsual · 17/02/2023 11:46

Oh how disgusting those creatures were. I think when you caught their eye they felt a moment of shame and in a most childish manner they just called you a four so they could shame you for shaming them. That's the level of childishness we're dealing with.

What you need to ask yourself is if you want to feel a bit more stylish or you, or if actually you're quite happy with how you look. You don't have to look like you're down to fuck disgusting men who hang around pubs rating women(which is the criteria they rate by) but if you're not feeling like yourself it's worth putting some time into yourself if you'd like to. You deserve to feel confident and feeling good about how you look(no matter what form that takes) could help with that.

winterpastasalad · 17/02/2023 11:48

I would have been quite happy with a 4 <misses the point>. Honestly though, I look like crap. I'm overweight, but not in a proportional way. My hair is thinning greatly and my face looks quite masculine. I'm focusing on feeling good and don't really care what others think. I've started buying naice products, essential oils and clothing that is more natural and less synthetic. Investing in a well fitting bra. Exfoliating every day. I already feel like I look much better even if I dont which helps massively.

thelinkisdead · 17/02/2023 11:48

You really don’t want to be rated highly by men as intellectually challenged as these. Men like this objectify women as sex objects and will be looking for specific gestures: very young, naive, low self esteem. I’d be taking that 4 as a compliment.

Honestly though, you should have had them kicked out for this behaviour; it’s sexual harassment. The very least these blokes deserved was a glass of red poured over their heads.

CurlewOnTheRocks · 17/02/2023 11:49

It's easy for pps say what "comeback" they'd have given them isn't it, when they weren't the ones walking a two year old around the place and having vile sexist scum loudly commenting on them.

OP your husband isn't ashamed of you. Have you told him what happened?

thelinkisdead · 17/02/2023 11:49

thelinkisdead · 17/02/2023 11:48

You really don’t want to be rated highly by men as intellectually challenged as these. Men like this objectify women as sex objects and will be looking for specific gestures: very young, naive, low self esteem. I’d be taking that 4 as a compliment.

Honestly though, you should have had them kicked out for this behaviour; it’s sexual harassment. The very least these blokes deserved was a glass of red poured over their heads.

*features not gestures!

YetAnotherSpartacus · 17/02/2023 11:49

ight in the eye, and said firmly "2". Then never given any of them a second thought. Pricks.

That's 2 inches.

Pricklyheath · 17/02/2023 11:51

RadioactiveWear · 17/02/2023 11:40

I think your time would be better spent working in your comebacks

e.g. “4, is that how big your dick is? 4cm”

Yes or is it your combined ages?