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Original poster

Rated a '4' by men in the pub last night. How can I glow up?

242 replies

MsFrog · 17/02/2023 10:50

Walked past some men last night who were rating women. I know they are dicks, I know it's disgusting behaviour, but it's made me feel completely shit. I mean, I was out with my kids for a pub tea, so I had put zero effort in. But I do look crap most of the time and I feel like my husband must be ashamed of me. Other mums manage to look nice, so having young kids is no excuse.

I'm not really used to doing hair/make up/ being stylish. Any easy tips to feel a bit better about myself?

OP posts:
Lookingoutside · 17/02/2023 10:57

They very likely said that to upset you, not because that’s what they think. They’re misogynistic vermin.

Forget them.

Ticktocktimebomb · 17/02/2023 10:58

They are absolute dicks and were probably just doing it to get a rise. The key question is, are you actually happy with how you look? If you are then change nothing. If not then maybe go to the hairdressers for some style advice, a makeup counter do some new makeup and tips on how to use it and buy a couple of nice clothing basics.

5128gap · 17/02/2023 10:59

There really is no answer to this. Because we can't be expected to take the opinion of a bunch of random misogynists as an indicator of your looks. Men do this to amuse themselves, sometimes to impress their mates, sometimes to make women uncomfortable. Their 'rating' is irrelevant to your appearance, as at 'best' it's based on their subjective opinion and at worst a deliberate attempt to offend you.
If you want advise on enhancing your appearance, tell us what you're not happy with yourself.

Coxspurplepippin · 17/02/2023 11:00

If they did it within hearing they were doing it to get a rise out of you. Please put it out if your head.

blebbleb · 17/02/2023 11:01

Ignore those disgusting men!

RestingMurderousFace · 17/02/2023 11:01

Please don’t give this any headspace, they’re fucking arseholes. That’s all. 💐

DaisyChainsForever · 17/02/2023 11:01

Wow they sound like a lovely bunch of people 🙄 Your husband will not be ashamed of you. Yes you may look different to when you first met, but priorities change as families grow. If you want to give your appearance an over haul then great, but do it for you, not for the opinions of strangers. Well groomed hair and clean nails are a minimum for me. I also can't leave the house without concealer as i look like i have 2 black eyes lol. But a family dinner with the kids i wouldn't necessarily be sporting a full face and mini dress if that's what those guys were expecting?

Randobelia · 17/02/2023 11:02

This is nuts. Some random rude fuckers said something, probably to make themselves feel better, while you were out with your family?!

Honestly OP I would have told them to piss off and got a manager involved. That is disgusting behaviour.

chachachachachanges · 17/02/2023 11:03

What rating would you have given them out of interest? Or would you not have rated them at all, on the basis that you don't eye up every human you see as potential wank fodder? And you had your head/hands full with y'know, taking care of your kids. And you couldn't give a stuff whether people around you have made efforts to impress you.

Sad little pricks with not enough to do.

You're amazing and worth 100 of them.

TallulahBetty · 17/02/2023 11:04

What did your husband say when you told him? I bet he said you're beautiful and he is in no way ashamed of you, right?

ShowOfHands · 17/02/2023 11:06

They're total bastards. I don't know what glow up means but you're asking about being stylish. What does this even mean? Which style? Do you want to dress like somebody in particular or ape a different style, even if you're not comfortable that way? Do you have clothes that you wear and they make you feel happy because of the way they look or the fabric or the comfort factor? Do you even want to colour your face in and impress inebriated cockwombles?

There are a few problematic statements, including thinking your husband is ashamed of you and wanting to feel better. Are these issues really linked to the way you look. If so, talk about what you want rather than your husband and some twats on a street corner. If your self esteem has been eroded for other reasons and your identity feels fragile, then that's different. Important but different.

I am sorry they behaved that way and you feel low because of it.

JaninaDuszejko · 17/02/2023 11:06

How would you rate them? I'm guessing not very highly? So why does their opinion matter? Do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy physically and (more importantly) mentally and don't waste time trying to jump through hoops to please arseholes.

EternalSunshine19 · 17/02/2023 11:07

You should of rated them to their face. No doubt they had Small dick energy.
fuck them, you don't need to make any changes for them or any man.
if you want to change for yourself then fine, but not for fucking men. (Sorry for the language)

sassyduck · 17/02/2023 11:07

Ignore them. They are total scum. You are worth much more than their opinions!

arethereanyleftatall · 17/02/2023 11:09

Wow. Your response to this op is wrong. You don't change what you do to please horrible horrible men!! Learn that first.

RudsyFarmer · 17/02/2023 11:10

I can’t fathom what this even looked like? You were taking your children out for food and a bunch of random men shouted the number four at you?

Coffeepot72 · 17/02/2023 11:22

That's truly horrible but I totally get how this can knock your confidence.

Original poster
MsFrog · 17/02/2023 11:23

Thank you for all these responses, so quickly. I teared up a bit at the general tone of outrage. I know they were being awful, and I know it shouldn't bother me. And as PPs said, I don't have a lot to respect for people who behave like this, so I wouldn't have exactly been interested in them. I was just surprised how bad I felt, and how I still feel really shit about it today. I suppose it's tapped into how I do feel like I've just been a mess since I had my kids.

@RudsyFarmer I was walking about with my 2 year old, just to keep him amused. I saw them looking at a woman in front of me, who was really pretty, and then I heard them say "definitely an 8". And then I walked really close by the table and they all looked at me really obviously, I made eye contact with one of them. He turned back to his mates and said "4" and they laughed. Writing it out, it's so clear that they are total arseholes and I hate that I've let it get to me so much.

OP posts:
Maireas · 17/02/2023 11:23

So, you're taking your kids out for a half term tea and some men shout a rating at you?
Where was this?
Anyway, pp have given good advice. This kind of bloke is probably looking for the blow up doll look, all fake lips, lashes, nails, arse and tit. If you're a 4 on that scale you look ok.
I'd be a 0.

Maireas · 17/02/2023 11:24

It's awful that you got upset, but genuinely, it isn't a reflection on you.

ricketybeauty · 17/02/2023 11:26

Just out of interest @MsFrog what would you have rated these "gentleman"?

My tip to feel better about yourself is not give these dickheads another thought. I don't know you but you are certainly absolutely fantastic as you are and do not need to change anything you don't want to.

Dickheads.

Bog · 17/02/2023 11:26

As a man myself I apologise. IF you were a 4 without makeup or whatever then so what. They'll have to live with micropenis for the rest of their lives.

JamSandle · 17/02/2023 11:27

Who cares about the rating of strangers?

Would you have given any of them even a 1?

Tulips365 · 17/02/2023 11:28

Jeez, how disgusting! Please don't start questioning your attractiveness based on these misogynistic pricks 'rating' of you. They're a solid 10/10 on the moron scale, so I wouldn't worry.

I'm genuinely intrigued how you heard this. Did they give you a rating personally or did you over hear them?

Also, remember that the kind of men who publically rate women are the kind of 'men' who think any woman over 25 is past it. They believe women/girls are purely there for decoration and their pleasure.

This is the ultimate in objectification and it makes me sick to read this.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 17/02/2023 11:28

he said 4 to ‘punish’ you for making eye contact…

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