Ooh what a fantastic predicament to be in OP, and good for you buying something for yourself. Three kids later, you definitely deserve it!
I have a ridiculously OTT metallic YSL Lou Lou which brings me so much joy, and also a black YSL camera bag. I know you said you wanted a tote, but I felt that with the cross body bags, I got more wear out of them and they get less bashed about. Both of them were worth every single penny.
To the virtue signalling, thread de-railers; slow clap for trying to make the OP feel shit about her choices.