Oh dear God help me. My first date in 18 years!

[Shuffleuplove]

I am going on a DATE. I am 50, newly single and I need help to get ready!!!

It’s next Sunday, we are going around a gallery/stately home type place. I have never met him in real life and my confidence has just ebbed away!

I’m 5’8” very too heavy size 18 and blonde. I have good hair, a nice face and then it starts to go meh the further down I go.

So far I think I’ve settled on a maxi dress with a small sleeve, bit of cleavage at the front, but not sure about footwear. Or anything else for that matter. I’ve got one good hoik-em-up bra.

Help. I really don’t want him to be horrified and leg it. I mean, I know he’s a nice person and that’s unlikely but, well, you know...

Wax if the spirit takes you, OP, but I'd draw the line at bleaching..,

The spirit has never taken me that way. Therein is the problem.

Do whatever suits you to feel confident OP. For me, that does involve hot wax on my bits!

I think there's a case for not going too Porno on your first encounter. I'm sure just a little tidy will be fine.

A friend of mine in her 50s got the whole lot taken off and on the first encounter the bloke was so surprised he fell off the bed. Then cautiously inspected the site and said "It looks like a Beetle bonnet".

A beetle’s bonnet! That’s a strong look! I worked with a girl who didn’t much go for grooming but when she got married her sister persuaded her to have a tidy up, and gave her a tube of Immac/nair which she slapped on and then left for ages. She said she got in the bath and “the whole lot lifted up and floated away like a dead animal” and she went down the aisle bald as a coot.

Might go down the nair route. I had my legs waxed and they took one look at my fur and upgraded to tar.

This post has made me laugh so much, please keep us updated with your dating adventures!

@Shuffleuplove before next weekend, maybe Kinky Kermode deserves a trip to the stately home?

OP what website did you find him on?!

Oh and a tidy up is perfectly sufficient 😉

This makes great reading and so excited at the same time !

Well, we’re still on for the weekend. I have ordered spanking new lingerie which I’m looking forward to. Now, I have a question:

Pyjamas. I’d like some for floating around in. Do I go for a silky look? Recommendations please.

Or do I get a nightshirt?

Silky strappy top and shorts would look sexy and not I'm throwing myself at you OTT.
Don't jump for suspenders.

Lightweight floaty gown from 100 Stars?

www.hush-uk.com/isla-printed-cami-pyjamas-tiger-pink-green/001956-3505-XL.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social-ad&utm_campaign=FY22_AugTransLaunch2021_23848422579690004_23848396384730004&utm_content=Facebook_Mobile_Feed&fbclid=IwAR1b2Opa5F43mTvCR3KRdteaQhY0T2Bl1ck2qFVeJ_EVCeizyAFQnIzg5_4#fo_c=1586&fo_k=e16a2d220d84cd16fbcb3fc9e9fb32f7&fo_s=fbplagb

something like these...

100 stars
Lovely wafty pjs and dressing gowns

Cyberjammies are nice too. The cami top & shorts are nice in hot weather.
Cyberjammies

What did you choose OP?

Hello! I bought a silky robe but now it’s here it feels a bit cheap. So am sticking with cami top and knickers.

Ticking along very fast actually. Got the feels BAD.

Haha, go with it. As long as you keep a small sense of proportion and spidy senses for red flags, it should be fun!

OP, as someone who has been bald as a coot since my late teens (now early 40s), if you opt for any hair removal cream, you must do the spot test first.

Secondly, do not leave it on longer than the suggested time; I’d go for a little less. Otherwise it won’t float away like a dead animal, it will leave you feeling on fire.

You might want to consider “coaxing” your fur away by using a razor with a fresh blade while using the cream, rather than the plastic thingy provided.

Wise words indeed @StarlightLady 😉
Have you ever read the Veet review on Amazon? It’s by a man, trying to surprise his wife with a bit of manscaping. The writing is hilarious- might appeal to your sense of humour @Shuffleuplove. Just Google funny Veet review Amazon.

@Whatliesbeneath707 😂.

I don’t want to hijack this thread but it just goes to show that men never read or follow instructions.

That Veet review is crazy!!!! I'll never look at brussel sprouts tge same again

I got waxed. I’ve just about stopped shaking. She did my bumhole, entirely unexpectedly. Just slapped a load of something warm up there which was possibly the most shocking thing that has ever happened to me, and then let it set, like she was making a mould of it. It wasn’t the pain, it was the sheer horror!

And (I’m outing myself here) has revealed a long forgotten birthmark which seems a lot darker then when I last saw it. So that’s a nice talking point, isn’t it?

I’ve actually been really shaky about the whole thing - I’d forgotten how big the birthmark is, and feel really self conscious. I’ve talked it through with friends of varied helpfulness and suggestions have included telling him I have 6 toes as a distraction.

In other news though, he’s deleted his profile and has said “you’re the needle in my haystack”