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Original poster

Oh dear God help me. My first date in 18 years!

461 replies

Shuffleuplove · 10/08/2021 23:03

I am going on a DATE. I am 50, newly single and I need help to get ready!!!

It’s next Sunday, we are going around a gallery/stately home type place. I have never met him in real life and my confidence has just ebbed away!

I’m 5’8” very too heavy size 18 and blonde. I have good hair, a nice face and then it starts to go meh the further down I go.Blush

So far I think I’ve settled on a maxi dress with a small sleeve, bit of cleavage at the front, but not sure about footwear. Or anything else for that matter. I’ve got one good hoik-em-up bra.

Help. I really don’t want him to be horrified and leg it. I mean, I know he’s a nice person and that’s unlikely but, well, you know...

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 26/08/2021 10:49

He won’t be looking at your birth mark! Relax!

Yellowbowlbanana · 26/08/2021 11:38

I like the sound of your friends OP 😁

Flyinggeese1 · 26/08/2021 14:57

You’re going to show him your bum hole after one date? Fucking hell.

Original poster
Shuffleuplove · 26/08/2021 15:22

No! Grin

But if I did, he’d be impressed.

OP posts:
JMAngel1 · 26/08/2021 19:26

Awww needle in my haystack - sounds like he's a keeper Smile

Whatliesbeneath707 · 26/08/2021 19:56

Six toes and a hairless bum hole - that man truly is winning at life! 😍
You certainly are that needle in the haystack for him 🥰

crimsonlake · 27/08/2021 09:16

OP you have gone from one date to planning a night away together...I have to ask were you on a normal or hook up site?
Enjoy yourself and stay safe.

SirVixofVixHall · 27/08/2021 09:29

I have never had my nethers waxed. I think I would faint in horror at someone randomly waxing hitherto unseen places... nooooooooooo. Seventies full bush here, although annoyingly much less of it since my thyroid packed up and meno set in. I like the cosy protectiveness of a bit of fur.
What nice lingerie did you get OP ? I am lusting after a beautiful bra from Avocado.

en.avocouture.eu/pelargonium-hcn

StarlightLady · 27/08/2021 10:18

Re: waxing. I can’t remember having fur.

maxiflump1 · 27/08/2021 10:58

Is it tonight you go away op? One night or two?? We all can't wait for an update!!!

Original poster
Shuffleuplove · 27/08/2021 12:07

@crimsonlake it’s just logistics, separate rooms.
We have talked non stop since. And yes an ordinary site. Pfft, hook-up indeed!

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 27/08/2021 12:49

I hear those sites are popular :)
Good luck, sounds like you have every angle covered so to speak.

Enough4me · 27/08/2021 15:09

It all sounds great and have fun, but be a bit wary of love-bombing as emotionally unavailable men can come on very strong early on. If he's being realistic while showing interest that's fine and he's probably just excited too.

Another thought, you'll have to be careful of ingrown hair in unusual places now or may get strange itching...Blush

BackAwayFatty · 27/08/2021 15:35

Have loved reading your posts on your online dating journey. He sounds fab! Hope you have a great time 😀

Original poster
Shuffleuplove · 27/08/2021 16:51

@Enough4me how can you tell the difference?

OP posts:
Yogalola · 27/08/2021 17:51

Go in something you feel comfortable in, definitely flat shoes if you are likely to do a lot of walking. Clean hair and smelling nice not overpowering, don’t over do the makeup. Remember the guy is probably just as nervous as you, so relax and smile.
Best of luck

Debbacat6 · 27/08/2021 18:19

Really don't set your hopes too high
Most of the men online dating are gross, liars, married, odd,
But I really hope you might have found a decent one.

ashmts · 27/08/2021 18:50

how can you tell the difference?

@Shuffleuplove I think you just have to live and learn, see how it goes while watching out for red flags. It does sound like he's coming on quite strong. Saying 'you're the one for me' (paraphrasing), deleting his profile, and arranging a night away after one date is far too fast for my liking. And as for the above comment re separate rooms, you're also getting your bits waxed and buying new pjs so something doesn't quite add up. I don't want to rain on your parade, enjoy it but just be conscious that it could all be a facade and could end in an instant. Keep your wits about you and don't get too emotionally invested too soon. It sounds cold but it's the only way to survive OLD without getting hurt.

Faevern · 27/08/2021 19:49

Ah you see, for me, even if in different rooms, the nice pjs, de fuzzed bits and grooming makes me feel good and therefore more confident, even if it’s only me who would see the results.

Though I would be cautious spending a weekend with someone I had met once. I’m sure you have contacts on speed dial and an exit plan should you need it @Shuffleuplove

Mamamia35 · 27/08/2021 21:48

@Enough4me
I'm interested in what you said: be wary of love-bombing as emotionally unavailable men can come on strong early on. What do you know about this? I came out of a long term relationship and this was my experience. Couldn't get enough of me for the first few years, it was overwhelming/OTT. But as time went on it certainly dwindled! He now has a new girlfriend and I would say he's at the old love bombing antics. Sadly to the detriment of our child who is having to witness this middle aged infatuation. Completely head over heels with new woman, treats and presents etc. Couldn't even buy me a bag of chips by the end. Complete tight wad.

But hope @Shuffleuplove has the best weekend! I'm loving this story.

Enough4me · 28/08/2021 00:46

My experience was a date in being told I was the one in a million. Over 3 months constant bouquets of flowers, meals and constant messaging. Then demands on my time, but only as he missed me. Concerns about what I was doing, but just because he wanted me to be safe. When I challenged him he said a therapist had said he wouldn't be anxious in relationships if reassured and I should accept his commitment and reassure him. Basically he was v OTT and I had to threaten police involvement when he constantly pestered ("just checking you are safe as I love you...miss you...if you change your mind"...and occasionally "it's all your fault I am better than you") when I ended it. He went off when blocked.

Most men are more realistic and can take things at calm pace or pull back if asked.

sicknote26 · 28/08/2021 01:05

This thread has made me laugh, just what I needed 😀

maxiflump1 · 28/08/2021 07:39

@Debbacat6

Really don't set your hopes too high Most of the men online dating are gross, liars, married, odd, But I really hope you might have found a decent one.
Sorry that this is your experience of OLD. Both me and my best feel so met our DH's online and 14 years later still going strong. My friend admittedly had to kiss a few frogs first but I was very lucky and hit the jackpot straight away with DH as he was the first person to message me and the only one I met up with. We both did however meet through a compatibility website that was quite expensive at the time rather than a tinder/match type site.
Kayemm · 28/08/2021 10:51

Have a fabulous weekend @Shuffleuplove.

Enough4me · 28/08/2021 10:52

OP, I hope your date is a nice regular man, all goes well and the waxing was worth it Wink