My hair is meh

[Chicksinonebasket]

I really really would like better hair. It’s my birthday soon and my mum has offered for me to go and have it done properly somewhere nice! It’s not been cut for about 8 months. I find it a bit stressful (and expensive) going to the hairdressers. I feel like a change but I don’t think there’s much I can do with it? I will be 37 so knocking on a bit now... secretly I’d quite like pink put in the ends of it 😂
Here is how is looks most days.

[Chicksinonebasket]

I’ve got a few pictures to show the hairdresser.
It needs to be fairly low maintenance but hopefully will be better than what I currently have. If all else fails I’ll get the paper bag...

[Chicksinonebasket]

My mother - as predicted - told me it looks dreadful and shows my funny shaped head 😂😭
I can sort of see what she means...
It needs a colour badly but I think it’s better like this... hairdresser on Tuesday.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

You look so pretty! Why on earth is your mum commenting on your hair? It's really odd.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

What do you think is odd about the shape of your head?

[donajimena]

I love it! What a transformation. Ignore your mother. If I go round on a Sunday sans slap, my mother says 'ooh you look awful'

[Chicksinonebasket]

I don’t know... my face isn’t symmetrical I guess. But you know, I’m nearly 37... I’m not going to look awesome am I?! Although I don’t think my mum was ever very complimentary even when I had youth on my side.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Faces aren't symmetrical but your is near as dammit, what on earth is she on about?!

[Shocksandboooos]

You look fantastic in that last picture. You have such pretty eyes.
I have no idea what your mum is on about.

[Hearhere]

Your mum is just jealous because you're young and pretty

[Hearhere]

What the fuck do you mean you're not going to look awesome at 37
You are still very very young you haven't even reached your prime yet😊
Stop even thinking like, that it's nonsense

[squirrelnutkins1]

Ignore your mum! You look lovely!

[Shoeshelpplease]

Did you do that yourself? Wow I wish o could make my hair look like that without a visit to the hairdressers.

You look amazing, such a transformation. Keep it like that.

Great outcome to the thread.

[Chicksinonebasket]

Yes shoes it actually doesn’t take long. I should make the effort to do it more although it’ll be short on Tuesday so might no be able to do it then. I do it with straighteners. Sometimes my hair is more amenable than others.

[ChoccyBiccyTastic]

You are stunning! Older without fringe? Funny shaped head? Your Mum couldn't be more wrong!
Your hair looks quite fine and wispy. I think a long, sleek, graduated bob in your natural colour would look amazing. Your hair will look full and thick (youthful), and it's a cut that's easy to wear and can look cute, sophisticated or sexy depending on how you dress it up. Something like this?

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I wonder if your mum is repeating stuff she was told ?

[wowfudge]

Your hair looks lovely. I agree with the pps who have said you should go shorter. It would look amazing in a pixie cut as you have beautiful eyes.

Your mother should be supportive, not knocking you down with the negative comments. Is she jealous I wonder?

[Slowknitter]

Your mum is totally wrong about the fringe! My mum always said the same. I've just gone back to a fringe after years of not having one, because I fancied a change . My mum thinks it's great but I'm really regretting it!

Definitely go darker, shorter, and lose the fringe.

[Pianobook]

I think you could have a shorter sharp bob with fringe but no puffing it up or sweeping it to the side. You would have to straighten it. I think it would suit you.

[MyFamilyAndOtherAnimals1]

Oh my goodness - you have amazing hair!
Style wise- I do love the side parting. And I always think people look lovely with some strong highlights (though perhaps not to the chunky-90s extreme!)

[Theninjawhinger]

Can I be blunt?

You have a mum problem, not a hair problem!

Your idea of what you look like and what the rest of us can see are poles apart - you are bloody gorgeous and i would kill to have hair like in your last photo!

Please try and work on your self esteem, maybe even some counselling. Your mum should be building you up, not knocking you down

[RuffleCrow]

I agree ninja.

For a long time my parents had this passive-aggressive "we're so helpful" thing going on, combined with regular putdowns about my appearance. The trouble is, learning to look at yourself objectively means breaking away from their perceptions of you, and unfortunately that's when things can escalate from 'just being helpful' passive aggression to something more overt.

OP, maybe have a wander over to the Stately Homes thread on the relationships board and see for yourself whether any of it resonates with you. Maybe we've got it wrong and your mother is really lovely and well intentioned, she just occasionally puts her foot in it.

Or maybe there's some underlying jealousy that's motivating her to put you down. Either way the Stately Homes thread will give you perspective and guidance.

Please come back and show us your new hair btw. Can't wait.

[DovePetal]

You take style advice from your Mum? That’s where you’re going wrong..

[Thatsalovelycuppatea]

Go for a sharp Bob it will really suit your face shape.

[minmooch]

op. That last photo of you with your fringe to the side with you hair in soft curls is fabulous. Seriously listen to us. You look younger and softer. Please please listen to the strangers on here who
Can tell you honestly.