My hair is meh

[Chicksinonebasket]

I really really would like better hair. It’s my birthday soon and my mum has offered for me to go and have it done properly somewhere nice! It’s not been cut for about 8 months. I find it a bit stressful (and expensive) going to the hairdressers. I feel like a change but I don’t think there’s much I can do with it? I will be 37 so knocking on a bit now... secretly I’d quite like pink put in the ends of it 😂
Here is how is looks most days.

[lubeybooby]

Is your mum Ms Vogue 2019? Looking amazing, on trend, and everything she wears and does flatters her 100% ? Do people queue up to get style advice from such an ethereal guru?

I'll bet not

Please start ignoring her and practice these responses

1. did you mean to be so rude?
   
2. yes well bad genes I suppose
   
3. it works for me thank you
   
4. I like it and that's what matters
   
5. I feel good for a change so please don't keep trying to bring me down

[JoyceDivision]

Op you look bloody amazing on that latest pic!

Without meaning to upset you or be rude about your mum I think it's a bit of jealousy from your mum that you look so bloody good and a bit of a put down from her means you'll revert to your normal style and not look as good therefore making your mum feel better.

Fuck that! Start growing the fringe out, a good hairdresser can shape it as a sideways fringe as it grows, lose some length,poss a warmer nlinge, more caramel?

Good luck at your app and ignore your mum

[EleanorOalike]

No offence but your Mum sounds like a bitch.

She is lying to you OP. And you are believing the lies cause you can’t see the truth. You are a very attractive woman.

You look very glam and young in the latest picture. Really a head turner!

Hopefully one day you’ll see what we all do.

Tell mum her opinion isn’t wanted and that she needs to back off.

[RuffleCrow]

Blimey OP you look stunning with your hair wavy/curly like that and you haven't even been to the hairdressers yet.

Time to cut those apron strings - your head is a beautiful shape, if that isn't too odd a thing to say to a complete stranger

If i could recommend a book i'm finding really useful: 'Mothers Who Can't Love' by Susan Forward. Please don't be put off by the title - of course our mothers love us in their own way, but unfortunately they sometimed behave in an unloving manner towards us and it can really affect the way we view ourselves, our self esteem and confidence.

Obviously don't show your mum the book as she'll probably be very dismissive and make you feel like you're betraying her. That's how these mums roll, sadly but the book has some great advice on how to create the kind of equal relationship we need with our mums as adults.

[Dowdydoes]

Yeah it looks lovely like that and you look rather gorgeous. Your mum sounds mean, tasteless or just very uncomfortable with change.

[Chicksinonebasket]

I’m very close with my mum, I think she’s trying to help. I make sure I tell my daughter how beautiful she is (as well as clever and kind and generally lovely) all the time. It’s true and I want her to know! My son also... my mum is a bit more reserved I think.

Thanks everyone for being so kind. I’m tempted to leave a bit of length in it after all so that I can still curl it. It’s easier to curl when shorter as well. Not sure!

[Ninkaninus]

Look. We’re all as women fed the line that aging and getting less youthful means we’re somehow less than, that we can’t be beautiful, desirable, attractive and awesome looking, and that we only count if we’re young and buxom.

Fuck that shit. Seriously.

With kindness, listen to how you talk about yourself... it’s your mother’s voice you’re using, and that of all the misogyny that is woven into the very fabric of society from the moment we begin to be aware of our femalehood.

It’s a lie.

You are beautiful simply by virtue of being a human being alive in this world. You do not need to be young to look and feel awesome. You do not even need to look awesome unless you want. It’s not a rent you’re obliged to pay for your place in the world.

[RuffleCrow]

Ok well you know her best. It's just sometimes that kind of closeness can actually hide enmeshment - where you have to compromise yourself to keep her happy.

I would have said I was close to my mum at one point but I always had a feeling there was in imbalance of power there.

It's good that you're able express those feelings to your own daughter. Sounds like you're doing a great job.

[Sagradafamiliar]

Your mum might just have a different face shape to you and so she calls yours 'funny'. Those cheekbones! I've got decent-ish cheekbones but quite a square jawline. Your face tapers down into a lovely, doll-like heart shape. Very enviable.
So yeah, ignore your mum!

[Ninkaninus]

I’d agree that you should leave some length in. I think a lob would suit you really nicely and then you will still have the option to style it up with curls to change your look when you feel like it.

[BlackPrism]

Your mum needs to stop insulting you under the guise of 'helping' and you need to tell her to stop when she does it.

My mum does this and points out my lumpy bits (I'm a size 8 but have a love-handle danger zone) and it's destructive. It really kills your esteem.

[squirrelnutkins1]

Looking forward to the update OP!

[Chicksinonebasket]

I think it’s a bit better? Although sadly the last was a hairdresser not a miracle worker! Unfortunately I don’t look that much different... She didn’t want to take it any shorter because she said it would be high maintenance and I definitely don’t have time for high maintenance.

Thanks everyone for your help it’s definitely better slightly darker.

[Pianobook]

I think that’s lovely. It’s a nice shape but I think your fringe could lie flatter.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

That is REALLY different, much more current ( your last hair cut was really 80's and ageing, sorry x) You look fab,it really suits you!

[bingowingsmcgee]

The curls are lovely, but I do think you could go quite short cos you've got good bone structure.

[Chicksinonebasket]

I know, sodding fringe won’t go any flatter at the moment! It needs to be a bit longer, damn it. I dried it flat earlier and it looked like this (pre cut) so I bet I could get it flatter than the hair dresser has dried it.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Fringe is fine

[Chicksinonebasket]

Thanks ☺️

[HiHoS]

I've been following this and you look beautiful OP, without and with new haircut. I also have a mum who insults me under the guise of helping. She has told me so many times how to have my hair, why don't I have this done, you look awful etc etc. I ignore her now and am happier having the style I have without requiring her input.

Let's have a photo with a smile please

[Sagradafamiliar]

Totally gorgeous, hope you're pleased with it

[PatricksRum]

Love it OP! Much much better

[doctorboo]

You look great. Your fringe will settle, although I think it looks fab now! You could always have a bit more chopped off when you next go in if you still want it shorter.

[LifeInAHamsterWheel]

You look gorgeous OP! Miles better with the fringe to one side.

Let's have a photo with a smile please
^^ Yes to this!