I want to dress upper middle class

[ConfusedWife1234]

I actually am upper middle class, live in an upper middle class neighborhood and because of this I would like to dress more upper middle class.

A woman I know told me she thought I was desperately poor first time we met... and I am really not happy with the way I dress.

Can you help me?

How do you dress currently?
How do you define 'upper middle class'? (I know what I think this means, but you may differ).

The only really upper middle class people I know dress in dirty stuff as they're always with the horses or dogs.

If you live in a neighbourhood you are not upper middle class.

Anyway, depends on what you are doing surely. Horses & dogs or dining?

Wtf is upper middle class? Isn't all that class stuff passe now? I'm working class, but live in a nice 4 bed bungalow. What am I? What does it matter? Who cares? Snobby or what?

Alice band, Barbour jacket. Job done.

“if you live in a neighbourhood you are not upper middle class”

Seriously?

So there are no upper middle class people in London?

Well, firstly - I'd say that so long as you are dressed in clean clothes that don't have holes in, you really should dress in whatever makes you happy. You don't need a uniform!

Secondly - if you really are that desperate to fit in, I have two words for you. Boden. Joules.

Rude person who said that to you, it's not something meant to make you feel nice about yourself I feel.
Anyway, nothing too glossy or matchy I would say. Natural coloured healthy hair and natural eyebrows. Small discreet earrings. Obviously nice coat (so not a label but made out of eg a cashmere mix- check out e.g. Whistles coats), leather shoes/boots which are polished or at least not scuffed and discreet. Everything natural materials and no labels and not obviously on trend. Shirt ironed, everything maintained nicely. No overwhelming scents. My friend worked for v wralrhy people and is herself now pretty well off and she absolutely nails this look. I lived with a French girl when younger and however late she got home she would stuff her shoes with tissue paper etc. And hand wash all her nice clothes.
I deffo don't manage this look much as would never voluntarily iron or wear tights. I like function but can admire a bit of elegance in others!

If you are the same poster that lives in Germany and has some peculiar hang ups about clothes, I'd recommend:-

Find a trouser shape you like
Find a dress shape that suits you
Get some decent boots

Then order from the likes of Boden/white company or German equivalent. Pay a bit more, get something better quality that will hang well and last. Are there dress agencies in Germany? That's a great place to pick up good quality stylish clothes but feel less wasteful about it.

I don't really know what dressing upper middle class is. However I do know a few upper middle class women and I would say they tend to dress well. Good clothes, well fitting, good quality, good cut. Hair is not done as such, but is always in good condition, colour and cut, make up is light and natural.

I find it odd you wish to dress as a class, more you should dress in a way that suits you and you feel comfortable.

Joules is in no way upper middle class!

In my experience - farm clothes and straw in your hair. But I’m used to horsey posh folk.

@ConfusedWife1234 how are you defining upper middle class?

Why is Mumsnet so obsessed with class?

There was a thread the other day about how middle class kids should dress . Then everyone started posting desperate to prove how middle class they are.

OP, where what you feel comfortable in It really does not matter what everyone thinks.

How do I dress currently?
I wear a lot of dresses and skirts if it is not too cold. I do not like wearing trousers but if it is cold I often wear corduroys. I wear a lot of brown and pastels, but like black and real colors better but often think it does not look good on my.
I am not wearing make up, only red lipstick.
I am really unhappy with my jacket, a Jack Wolfskin all weather jacket but could not find anything if the same quality that dies not look ugly. I need a jacket that protects me from the weather.

Upper middle class... not sure... I never defined it... so most people who live here have at least some money. Some might not have cash, but they own houses or lands... yet they are not that rich that they never need to worry about money.
They went to good schools yet not to the best schools.
Some do have titles, some do not.
They know other people who are also upper middle class.
They believe in marriage and traditions and bringing up their children the same way they have been brought up.

Actually I never thought about why I consider people over here middle class. I just think they are.

All of the upper middle class people I know live in their old Barbour jackets, jodhpurs and riding boots, unless they are going somewhere fancy.

As a pp pointed out if you live in a neighbourhood you are not UMC.

Urban or rural?

Rural - sit down with the Dubarry website and knock yourself out.

Alternatively go to a 3 day event, shame you've missed Burleigh, and do all your shopping there.

There is a thread (posted a few days ago) about how scruffy middle class children look (and their parents)

The friend who thought you were poor perhaps didn’t get the memo ;)

When I think of upper middle class, I think big floppy hair with the parting as far over as you can make it, casual tops with stiff collars which are kept up, pearls, gilet. For men, mustard coloured cord trousers.

Obviously I’m stereotyping, but that seems to be the uniform.

Why it matters to me?
I was bullied a bit as a kid (actually by kids who were of a lower class than I was). They made fun of my way I dressed, my family dressed and our accent... and while it was not that bad and most were not like this I was a sensitive girl and very unhappy about it.
I do not the same to happy to my kids.
Also I am a individual who likes to fit it.

Agree that upper middle class people seem to be the scruffiest! But then we live in a rural area where the wealthiest tend to be very countryside-ish, so probably dress very differently to those of a similar background in London for example. Round here you’d need brown / tan everything, knee high brown leather farm style country boots, Barbour jacket, messy windswept hair and no make up.

Rural neighbourhood, but many who live here work in the city.

Op lives in Germany and ( possibly) with an Eastern European background so a lot of the advice on here won’t be relevant as it will relate to British UMC style - if such a thing exists
OP the fact that you have posted twice on this at the same time suggests an issue other than your clothing ( apologies for the armchair psychology). It suggests you somehow feel you don’t “fit” with your neighbours
My DH family is German and there is much less emphasis on the “right” clothes there. Quality is more important than fashion amongst the people we know and clothes aren’t thrown away until they no longer look smart.
Perhaps you need to focus on things other than the way you look? Although smarten yourself up a bit by wearing clean, good quality clothes and having clean and tidy hair and nails if it would make you feel better about yourself

Kappa twist tongue trainers, Adidas popper trackies, McKenzie hoodie. Badly bleached hair. Bright red lipstick.

I think Dubarry is a bit... ahem... common . All the footballers' wives types round here are wearing them as they climb in and out of their (mud free) Porsche Panameras.