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Original poster

How do some people manage to look so effortlessly cool?

265 replies

NotBigBrotherAgain · 13/06/2017 17:42

Is there a secret to it or do you have to be born with some kind of special 'coolness' gene?

I'd love to be able to chuck on something vintage with a pair of Levi's and look cool, but instead I'd look like I had no decent clothes to wear and had just gone out in the first thing I grabbed off the ironing pile!

Is there anything I can do to make myself look a bit more edgy and cool?

OP posts:
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Sleepthief · 13/06/2017 17:51

Ditch the ironing pile for one thing - ironing is not cool 😎 Actually, I'm not sure there is any such thing as 'effortlessly' cool and it's all subjective anyway. Marie Kondo's advice about only owning things that make you happy (ie you know you look good in) is a start...

BusterGonad · 13/06/2017 17:54

It's the million dollar question! I think you've either have to not give a shit or really put a great deal of time and effort into it. When I kind of stopped worrying Amos much I started to look better as I chose clothes I was naturally drawn to, btw I'm in no way saying I'm cool and stylish just that I feel happier in myself now I'm wearing clothes that make me happy. I think your clothes need to fit you perfectly too which I struggle with as my boobs and back measurement are quite large! I don't really look good in jeans and t-shirts, I'm much more if a dress and boots type.

BusterGonad · 13/06/2017 17:56

Yes Sleep, x post, totally agree with wearing clothes that make you happy!

Deecee1012 · 13/06/2017 18:36

Totally agree..wear what YOU like and what makes you feel good!!
For me, looking cool is all about individuality and not about the latest style or label.
I have a friend who looks fantastic and very 'cool', all her wardrobe is high street.

Hairq · 13/06/2017 19:15

I have a friend who always exudes effortless cool and stylishness. In reality, she spends her entire life shopping, grooming, researching skincare, treatments, what's coming into fashion etc. She doesn't have a job but does have a husband who earns a lot and she spends a fortune and a lot of time on how she looks. It comes across as effortless but in reality she spends even more time than the Orange fake tan/bleach blonde/fake fingernails/bling jewellery brigade in her look.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 13/06/2017 19:23

Being slim has a lot to do with it. Or if bigger, not having big boobs, as either way clothes hang better. I say this bitterly as a short fat person with huge tits.

Floisme · 13/06/2017 19:41

For me, it's quite a specific look but, at the same time, hard to define. I think of a few of my current style crushes have it: Jane Birkin, Patti Smith, Yoko Ono. There are also lots of beautiful women who dress really well but don't have it. Katharine Hepburn has it but Audrey doesn't, in my opinion.

I have some outfits that make me feel cool although whether I look it is another matter: some slouchy trousers, from H&M and Uniqlo, brogues, my leather coat (but funnily enough, not my jacket). I have lots of other clothes that I love but don't feel cool in, dresses for example, and heels (not that I wear heels anyway).

Sorry I'm not being much help really but it's interesting thinking about it Grin

LaurieFairyCake · 13/06/2017 19:45

It's the :

Groomed hair that doesn't look groomed
The no make up make up that takes half an hour to apply
Plus the silver pendant swinging
The nice bag
The short groomed nails
Light tan

And not being a fatty with big norks( like me)

Looking effortlessly gorgeous takes plenty of time if you're older. Only an under 25 looks good with very little effort.

OCSockOrphanage · 13/06/2017 20:24

IMO, Laurie has hit the nail on the head. It's about looking artfully dishevelled, when it's actually seriously calculated. The haircut that is perfectly messed up, low key make up, and generally easy (perfect fitting) clothes with a clashing or unexpected element/print. It can be OTT (as in several colours, patterns and multiple textures, including jewellery) but it can only be pulled off with conviction!

I have a huge Indian cotton scarf I bought almost 40 years ago for a very posh do which has been incredibly versatile. It's striped in bright colours (all colours) with lurex threads through it and red tassels. Getting a bit tired now but it kicks black, denim, navy and white into high gear every time. I shall cry when it dies; it goes to the beach as a sarong as happily as over my Barbour jacket and works as an evening wrap too, so while I thought it cost a lot then, the cost per wear is pennies.

BusterGonad · 13/06/2017 20:27

Don't forget the red lip with no make up make up!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 13/06/2017 20:30

Flo - first time ever that I've disagreed with you, I think. Audrey has 'it' in bucket loads! I will forgive you, but only this once. Grin

Chottie · 13/06/2017 20:32

It's having glossy, swingy hair
understated makeup
groomed nails
being able to nail the latest style trends
good accessories and bag......

I've been trying for years and just accept that for me, it will never happen.....

CryingMessFFS · 13/06/2017 20:38

Being slim is number 1
Then you've either got 'it' or you don't. I don't know what 'it' is but I'm sure you know what I mean?

Floisme · 13/06/2017 20:48

Oh no Remus Shock Audrey's absolutely lovely but I don't think she has it - sorry.

I think some old people have it. (I will concede this may be wishful thinking.) I have a couple of women friends well into their 70s - they look their age but they also exude this kind of louche elegance and I think more than anything else, they look comfortable in their skin. I think Leonard Cohen acquired it when he got old. And Charlie Watts but not Mick Jagger,

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 13/06/2017 20:58

Hmmm. Watch, my dear, or it'll be pistols at dawn for you.

Floisme · 13/06/2017 21:04

If it helps, I love the way Grace Kelly looks but I don't think she's got it either.

I'm just making things worse now aren't I?

silkpyjamasallday · 13/06/2017 21:07

It's not cool to look groomed imo, makes me think of Home Counties Mums. Artfully disheveled is the way to go. The coolest looking people I know, regardless of age, wear a real mishmash of clothes, in a way that you can't tell if it's high street, designer or vintage. They wouldn't wear the latest trends and stick to their own individual look that doesn't date. They tend to have elements that are repeated that highlight a style formula but it is hard to decipher and impossible to copy.

BusterGonad · 13/06/2017 21:08

I find it very disappointing when someone famous appears to have it then you find out they have a stylist! Being slim is very important, as to be a bit larger you've got to really make more effort with clothes for them to look good.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 13/06/2017 21:11

You're okay. Grace Kelly means nothing to me. Audrey, however...

Designerenvy · 13/06/2017 21:14

I'd love to look effortlessly cool. A few mum's at the school and a few work colleagues have it. They have that arty, cool, thrown together but elegant look down to a tee! I dontEnvy.... I used to wear long hippy style skirts with docs in my 20s .... thought I was cool but not sure I was in reality Wink
I'm 43 now, I find it very hard to find clothes that suit me that's within my budget. Anything I like lately is quite expensive, so I've made a resolve to buy less but better quality. I do feel better quality clothes work better at my age as the cut is much better .... not designer now or anything, just noto primark at least not all the time !

Lanaorana2 · 13/06/2017 21:17

Oh no, Audrey isn't cool - cute, gamine, poised, completely-want-to-look-like-that, yes, but not cool.

I think it's the Givenchy as done for her :) Too clean as well :)

it's a foul cliche, but the cool people I know both don't give a sod and like people looking at them. Grasshopper legs help. As does getting dressed in a hurry.

bluejelly · 13/06/2017 21:17

A lady I work is probably size 18-20 and looks very cool. She's always beautifully turned out, everything matching and well put together. Great hair, subtle jewellery. So being slim is not always a pre-requisite of cool.

SherbertLemon2011 · 13/06/2017 21:23

I think it is down to confidence a lot of the time. If you are uncomfortable in your own skin (or clothing) then it shows

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 13/06/2017 21:51

It's having glossy, swingy hair

Not really, people like Kim Sears and Kate Middleton have lovely swishy hair but are not cool; everything neat and perfect is not cool - it's well groomed.
In fact, cool people often look a bit 'dragged through a hedge backwards'.

ICJump · 13/06/2017 21:53

Every now and then I get the cool look. I manage to get all the stuff together without it being together to much. But it requires effort. And normally the effort is ruined by being covered in snot, wheetabix or paint within about 10 minutes.

I also feel cool when I've got stuff to do and have got the gear for it.

Once I had to remove a stump from my mother in laws garden. My removed my top (had a singlet) and picked up the madock and took that tree stump out. Cool AF