Do you always look presentable for your DH.

[hownow]

I'm a SAHM so DH no longer sees me dressed up to go out to work. I get dressed properly every day as we always leave the house but I wear pretty minimal make up and my hair is always in a bun for practicality. And I'm not the type to look great with my hair up! I only look somewhat attractive with my hair loose and styled (takes forever to do so isn't feasible on a regular basis).

I also remove makeup/double cleanse during bath time at 6ish so DH sees me with glasses on, bare face, hair up. Haven't got loads of cash so my loungewear leaves a lot to be desired.

Men are visual aren't they?! Should I be making more effort? What do you all do in terms of 'keeping up appearances' at home?

[vichill]

I would be very interested/dread to see what the earlier hahahaha posters look like.

[notsogoldenoldie]

I hate looking like crap, whoever it's in front of. So it's full slap at all times for me. Not that it makes any difference to lying, cheating b..rd of a "d" p.

[museumum]

I admit I tarted myself up for my first, second and third dates with dh. Once it seemed we really liked each other we went mountain biking together, then camping, then hiking, a snowshoeing holiday. Did I do them with make up on? Hell no!
That's not to say I am ever unclean around him. I wash my body and hair regularly unless we are on a long multi-day hike or camping in the wilds. I always brush my teeth. I would not have a smelly body or smelly breath or greasy hair if at all avoidable.
But that's not what the op is talking about is it? She's talking about taking make up off and contacts out and putting glasses on. If my dh didn't fancy me bare faced I'd be gutted. .

[santamarianovella]

Betty is awesome, love her , don is just messed up,

[Samantha28]

No I don't always look " presentable " and neither does he. If we have done sport or come in from the gym or the garden we are dirty or sweaty. Surely your partner you sees you in good times and bad - dressed up to the nines or just out the shower ?

i couldn't stand the stress of always worrying what I looked like 24/7. And I can't imagine what kind of sex life you have, if your hair and make up always have to be perfect and your clothes neatly pressed and colour co ordinated .

[Fabulassie]

There's a lot of difference between utterly slobbing out in pj's and tarting up to the nines. It's not going to be strictly one or the other. I would say that "looking presentable" would mean wearing something comfortable but flattering, having hair washed and combed, and maybe a little makeup if that's your thing. Maintaining that after the wedding and the kids is a nice thing to do for someone you love.

[Chandon]

Vichil, that is easy, they told you:

Unwashed in stained oversized holey clothes, and farting freely

[Samantha28]

I'm intrigued by these men who are " keeping themselves fit " for their wives. I know a lot of men who do sport and /or go to the gym and I've NEVER heard any of them say they are doing it for their wives , to still be attractive to her, to make an effort because women are visual , to keep up appearances

All the ones I know do it because it's fun, they like being fit and looking good, competing, seeing their mates, socialising etc

[ohtheholidays]

I do make an effort.My Mum's influence no doubt,she always looked polished.

I don't wear make up if I'm staying indoors all day.But I do do my hair every day and I never sit around in PJ's unless I'm having a really bad health day.

But honestly I do it for myself not really for anyone else.

[ZaraW]

Samantha they may not say it BUT maybe they take it into consideration. I am pretty fit and live a healthy life style and one of the reasons is that I want to be around as long as possible for my DS. I don't have a long term partner at the moment but they would also be included. It's not necessarily about having the perfect body but looking after your health. With obesity such a problem in the UK it is also a good example to set your children to be healthy and active rather than sit at home playing computer games.

[whattheseithakasmean]

I don't make an effort with clothes, particularly, but both DH & I take care of ourselves. By that I mean we eat fairly healthily, exercise and make the effort to stay slim.

I see men my DH's age (mid 40s) and they look paunchy, sweaty, middle aged wrecks, whereas my DH still looks pretty hot. I am very grateful he hasn't 'let himself go' and I know he loves my slim figure.

I don't dress up for him, but I have a professional job that requires me to look smart, so he will see me in skirts & heels etc. He has said - 'I bet everyone on your board fancies you rotten' so I know he takes pride in how I look to the outside world.

I enjoy makeup and clothes & one of the things I love about working is that I get to wear lovely smart clothes. At home I slob out, but I am not a slob & would not expect DH to get the hots for me if I made absolutely no effort myself. We've been together over 20 years, BTW, so it doesn't always have to wear off with time.

[PassTheCremeEggs]

I really don't get all the hahahahah-ing posters. I bet you all didn't go on your first dates with your DHs dressed in old clothes and no make up. Why make the effort then if you don't continue to make it? I like it when DH makes an effort for me - so I try for him. Funnily enough I find him more attractive when he's showered, shaved and dressed than if he's in a dressing gown and I would assume he thinks the same of me. With two small children finding the the time is often easier said than done but I still want to try. There's nothing 1950s about that!

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

But getting showered, putting on clean clothes and brushing teeth is not trying to look presentable, is it? That's just basic hygiene...

[Sallyingforth]

Exactly.

[ocelot41]

Hell no. Currently am tucked up in bed with streaming cold, hair everywhere and jammies on.

Do I dress up sometimes to please him? Yeah sure, when I feel like it. Stockings always popular

[Greengardenpixie]

Nope! How could you ever live your life like that. I am who i am...warts and all. Maybe thats the recipe i have for my nearly 30 years marriage. My dh loves me for who i am..not the packaging. I think that is very important.

[50ShadesOfSummer]

Samantha28 said:
I'm intrigued by these men who are " keeping themselves fit " for their wives. I know a lot of men who do sport and /or go to the gym and I've NEVER heard any of them say they are doing it for their wives

I just asked my DH and he (slightly sheepishly) said that one of the reasons he keeps fit, takes care of his appearance, is to look good for me.

I think men may do this but not say it as there's still that old "under the thumb" taunt they may be open to.

[ocelot41]

My DH has said he keeps fit because he wants to stay alive and healthy for me and DS (history of heart attacks in family).

I totally love him for that

[ouryve]

No.

I spend about as much time doing my hair and applying make up as DH does.

[MrsJuice]

I knew I'd met 'Mr Right' when I felt no need to do an early morning make-up touch up after our first night together.
I took all of my make-up off before going to sleep.

He loves it when I do get dressed up, but he still loves me when I'm unwell, when I've been crying (and that's not a pleasant sight), and when I look a complete shambles.

I'm myself with him. He's himself with me. We both like what we have!

[Samantha28]

That's interesting , 50 shades . Perhaps there are more athletes and sportspeople out there who are exclusively focussed on their appearance and desperately trying to "keep " their partner, they are just too embarrassed to mention it .

I suspect that people would think its weird, rather than " under the thumb" , as most sports people do it because they enjoy it, rather than because they are struggling to save their marriage /relationship.

Still, each to their own. I'm glad to hear it works for you

[WalkingInaWhippetWonderland]

I once had flu and forgot to put foundation on and he's still here. So phew I think I've got away with it.

[PassTheCremeEggs]

Obviously those that do make an effort aren't talking about going to bed made up/getting up early to put make up on lest DH see them without, nor are they saying they try and look good while being ill! It's just a matter of sometimes making an effort to look nice. DH loves me for who I am, and I him, but that doesn't mean we don't like occasionally to see each other dressed nicely.

[Samantha28]

I don't think anyone has said that they don't like to dress up for special occasions, or if that they don't look respectable for work

But the OP was about how you look when you are at home in the evening , alone with your family . She wondered if it was ok to wear glasses and no make up in front of her DH , and to wear lounge clothes .

That's why she got so many " ha ha ha " responses. Not because most posters never dress properly or bathe /shower/brush their teeth and sit around in dirty old clothes. But because most of us wish to relax at home in the evening without worrying about our Dh seeing us without make up and contacts !

And others questioned how you could " Always look presentable " when you are ill, in labour, doing sports, bereaved , having sex etc

I feel quite sad to think of all these women who are obsessed by their appearance 24/7 and can never relax , even in their own homes, for fear that their partner will abandon them in favour of another women who is constantly glamourous . Perhaps I'm complacent , but I'd like to think my marriage is based on a little more that my appearance ( otherwise it's not got a hope in hell)

I remember a thread on here years ago where the Op was worried about her Partner being with her in labour because he had never seen her without make up