Do you always look presentable for your DH.

[hownow]

I'm a SAHM so DH no longer sees me dressed up to go out to work. I get dressed properly every day as we always leave the house but I wear pretty minimal make up and my hair is always in a bun for practicality. And I'm not the type to look great with my hair up! I only look somewhat attractive with my hair loose and styled (takes forever to do so isn't feasible on a regular basis).

I also remove makeup/double cleanse during bath time at 6ish so DH sees me with glasses on, bare face, hair up. Haven't got loads of cash so my loungewear leaves a lot to be desired.

Men are visual aren't they?! Should I be making more effort? What do you all do in terms of 'keeping up appearances' at home?

[Clarabumps]

I put make up on for myself when I want to look nice but never for my husband. I looked a right state today. Hoodie jeans, greasy hair and a spot on my chin. Big stunner here!

[sunflower49]

I'm usually in my pjamas.
DP has commented on it.
I told him to take me out more and I'd dress up more.

I'm always fresh and clean and have make up on, though. If my face looks good I'm less concerned about my clothes if I'm just in the house.

[Bartlebee]

Another hahahahahaha NO.

I've just spent the evening on the sofa with dh. I made a real effort. Make up removed, hair piled on top of head, glasses on and dressing gown. Gorgeous.

[sunflower49]

DP has this really attractive 'look' for evenings around the house. Dark grey scruffy dressing gown and socks. He has several of these dressing gowns and their belts seem to often disappear into the abyss. So he slobs around in a dressing gown without a belt, belly hanging out 'n all. Last night I told him that if he had the physique of Hercules he wouldn't look good, but to put it mildly, he really doesn't.

I don't care that much at all. And it makes my 'pjamas and hair scraped on top of head' look seem glamorous :)

[burnishedsilver]

Hilarious.

[Bowchickawowow]

I have noticed on MN that there is sometimes a bit of competition as to who cares about their appearance the least poor OP!

I always dress up and wear makeup every day. I don't own anything scruffy or slobbby but on days off I will wear more comfortable clothes - jeans, jumper and boots, always do my face, hair, nails. It doesn't take long to do and it is just how I am. I don't notice whether or not others do the same and think people should do what makes them feel confident and happy.
If I am completely honest, I think my DH does like it. He would never say it in so many words but he has said things about the fact I "make an effort."

[autumnboys]

No, I do not. He texted me last week to warn me a plumber was coming round and I sent back a text saying 'shit, better change out of my pyjamas'.

He gets home from work and farts loudly and often. You can't tell me he's doing that in the office.

We both scrub up all right. He sees me looking semi- respectable several times a month.

[Apatite1]

I try to look decent when going out, but husband actually prefers me without makeup so definitely don't wear it at home. Comfort over style for me. Now, where's my fluffy dressing gown?

[OOAOML]

Fair point, Bow. In my defence I don't wear make up not because of any competitive skankiness, but because my skin reacts at the drop of a hat and I have never worn make up often enough to feel comfortable in it.

I do however like to be comfortable in the evenings - and that does mean clothes some people would think slobby. My husband isn't exactly doing much in the grooming stakes, so maybe we deserve each other for being so skanky

I 'make an effort' by earning money and by keeping our children in clean clothes and packed lunches. The thought of titivating myself for my husband doesn't factor in the limited amount of time I get to myself. If it made me personally happy to do those things, then I probably would though.

[sunflower49]

I've noticed that bowchicka and I've even joined in to an extent-but I don't agree with it really. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look nice for your partner as long as there's no pressure and it makes YOU feel good. Also there's nothing wrong with not wearing make up and wearing whatever you like in your own home.

I dress up for DP if we go out. For me AND him really, I like to look my best and I know he likes it, and I like him. I don't think that makes me a horribly suppressed anti-feminist submissive little pathetic female.

I don't know why but I cannot be comfy in any sort of non-lounge clothes, at home. In summer maybe, but I feel happier in pjs and that's what I'll wear. A friend called on me unexpectedly late on evening and I had to warn her I was already in PJs . She genuinely really didn't care, I wouldn't if it was the other way around either.

[woollytights]

Why are some of you so sneering and nasty? Not only is it unnecessarily spiteful, its actually extremely insensitive to the OP who has reached out to other women at a time where her confidence is low. I think anyone here trying to make OP feel bad for asking this question ought to fuck off and gloat somewhere else. Clearly their lack of desire to be presentable to others extends to their attitude and personality as well.

OP, i get it. You see posts on here from women wondering about what to wear for all kinds of events, usually with the goal of fitting in and looking nice for others. So I have no idea why a gang of idiots descended on your thread to try and make you feel like shit for wanting to feel more desirable and attractive around the person you love. I will say that I agree you shouldnt feel under any pressure to always look done up and perfect. For me personally i dont mind my DP seeing me look like shit now and then but I also genuinely enjoy dressing nicely and getting done up. So for me, I dont necessarily do it "for" him but I do like him complimenting me when I look nice. If that makes me worthy of ridicule I dont particularly mind. People who are proud to slob around in pyjamas all day arent people I necessarily seek style and beauty feedback from anyway.

[ohmychrist]

You're very wrong, woolly. Nobody should try to "look nice FOR others". Ever.

[mowglik]

Totally disagree with you ohmychrist. I don't see why dressing for 'yourself' in order to get an ego boost when other women/people see you is more worthy or right than dressing to please the person you love.

No ones suggesting it's the only reason to get dressed but it's a nicer reason than to get admiration from colleagues/random people on the street imo

[WhoKnowsWhereTheMistletoes]

I don't, I get dressed, hair, make-up in the morning (nearly always jeans and a nice top, my workplace is casual) and stay that way till bedtime. I only change clothes or redo hair etc if I'm going out (with or without DH) or after exercise.

[PacificDogwood]

I have noticed on MN that there is sometimes a bit of competition as to who cares about their appearance the least

I think that's true

However, wrt the OP's question is does not matter one jot whether any of us wear full slap 24/7 or nothing at all out of principle, what grates with me is the whole 'making yourself presentable' for DH's arrival home.
Really makes me feel queasy.
Does he fret and worry that he'll be 'presentable' 'for his DW' after a long day at the coal face??
Even that sentence is all wrong: in an equal partnership we should see each other for who we are, ranging from ill over stressed to everyday 'normal' via happy to all dolled-up to the nines - and we should love every version of our OHs.

I know that is not always realistic and I know DH likes it when I am 'done up' (as do I), but I don't feel under any obligation - neither from him, nor from myself to conform to some kind of ideal. And certainly not in time for him coming home when I have either a. worked a 12 hr day myself or b. spent all day shopping/doing house work/looking after our darling offspring.

[nequidnimis]

I've been with DH for over 20 years and several years ago felt that we were losing our spark.

During a heart to heart he admitted that, whilst he still loved me, he found me less attractive since I'd stopped caring so much about my appearance.

He honestly wasn't being a bastard - I had to drag it out of him. He only ever saw me in my pyjamas or scruffy 'at home' clothes.

Since then I've made more of an effort. I'm not afraid of him seeing me dressed down, but I don't want that to be all he sees. I want him to think I'm attractive, and to be proud.

I know there are lots of people on here who will be horrified by this, but I'm trying to be honest for the OP. I don't know whether DH is unusual or whether other men think like that but don't admit it, but it worked for us and it doesn't take much effort. Obviously I expect the same level of effort from him.

[peasandlove]

I cant believe the women on this thread who have responded are regs to the 'style and beauty' forum

[burnishedsilver]

I doubt there's anyone one here who doesn't care about their appearance. You wouldn't bother reading 'style and beauty' if you didn't care about style and beauty.

I do it 'cause I like to, not to please my dh. He hasn't the faintest interest in style and beauty.

[burnishedsilver]

This is all a bit of an eye opener. Are there some people who just don't get dressed and stay in their pj's all day?

[MakeMeWarmThisWinter]

Yes Pacific.

It's my choice to enjoy fashion, makeup, and I take care of my appearance and exercise etc - but sticking on some window dressing for my DH's benefit of a normal evening in the house? Nah.

I spend a lot of time on S and B and rarely do you see women talking about dressing for the benefit or enjoyment of their husbands. Just about what they want to wear and enjoy. It makes me feel uncomfortable that some women on this thread are implying they take care of their appearance not because they enjoy it, but because they worry about what their DH thinks of them, would look elsewhere etc. it's the idea of 'making an effort' I really dislike I think!

[MakeMeWarmThisWinter]

nequidimis -

Have things improved with your husband now?

[RojaGato]

I try not to let it go too much and make an effort a couple of times a week. As much because I like playing dress up/putting outfits together as anything else.

Definitely operate a inversely proportional ratio of how washed is my hair:how much cleavage is on show at times I am a bit pushed though. Keeps him happy as larry.

[RojaGato]

Also, if taking time of your appearance, grooming, outfits etc makes you feel better, more confident etc then that makes it worth it in itself.

To be fair, my husband does make an effort for me with his appearance to though- asks for opinion on outfits, shaves at the weekends at least 80% of the time and so on, so we're both like that.

[SageSeymour]

What a horrible way to treat the OP

I'm currently really ill so my DH isn't seeing me at my best. Do I usually make the effort ? Of course. For me , for him .. Does it matter?

So I'm always showered and I'm always made up ( I always wear make up anyway ) , nice clothes, do my hair. Just makes me feel better and I actually think it's important to make some effort

Nobody is saying that you need to don a frilly pinny and fix your hair for your man. And I'm certainly no 50s throwback. But I don't understand the almost gleeful tales of taking pride in making no effort at all.

[bigTillyMint]

Does your DH always look good for you?

Mine certainly doesn't as he leaves for work and arrives home in his cycling kit and then changes into scuzzy old tracky bottoms and Tshirts. On the rare occasion I see him in a suit, I wonder who has walked into our house!

I, on the other hand, always look primped to perfection.