Hagsnet - the crepey quiche

[saggarmakersbottomknocker]

Over here all you 40s and fading!

I have bought myself two tubes of factor 50 facecream in a useless, futile, belated attempt to ward off any more crepe and brown age spots. I'll need it where I am going. Vair hot.

Swedes, am just reading Proper Book by neuroscientists (for work) on bodyclocks and how teenagers have good biological reasons for this. Along with being peachy-skinned and lithe, damn their eyes.

I am not even going to try the mirror thing. It's not just the jowls. Everything will surge forward, in a notably unerotic manner.

Oh come on Fell, tis too exciting - is it to a retirement complex with a warden?

God
whoever put about the mirror thing I really wish you hadn't

Or somewhere with welcoming burkhas?

You cheeky moo Hully. I often do this at the shaving mirror on the edge of the bath when I lean forward to turn off the taps (nekkid) and see all sorts of horrors dangling before me. Two long socks with tennis balls in. Actually one is a tennis ball, the other one a snooker ball. It ain't pretty.

There might be burkhas involved.

If I lean over my iPad and get a reflection it is remarkably similar to a bloodhound.

The Older Lady's Friend You can radiate mysterious allure from beneath.

I might take up wearing them actually. They look roomy and comfy.

I pm'ed you Pag. I will come out properly soon, just waiting for a few loose ends to be tied up first. Can't be too careful.

So Hully why are you not coming to our meet up now? And you should come Pag, you know you want to. Then we can have a 'who looks most ancient and dreadful' competition.

MrsS NOOO, to the Mirror of Doom

its like you emerged from a coffin..its fecking awful

and breathe....

oh and yy to badger-look to dyed hair in what seems like days. I think it is actually because its Spring, and our hair grows quicker in the warmer weather

Where is the meet up?
Must pluck my chin before going to meet DD2 from the school bus in case Glamorous American Mother is there. (I think she is probably about my age as she had terrible white roots the other day - her hoody thing slipped back and I nearly gasped as she is always immaculate.)

Another way to look like the truly awful old hag that you are (no offence) is to go into a dark room and stand in front of a mirror with a torch or a lamp under your face. Shocking, it is.

My mum got massive by her standards after menopause, for a bit. I think she went all the way up to nearly nine stone at one point.

Ahem.

It sounds like a book - Mrs Schadenfreude and the Mirror of Doom.

where's my pm, pray?

Don't know about meet-up yet, there remain dependant variables.

You lot are making me feel bad, I haven't done any exercise unless you count a huge supermarket shop AND I appear to have eaten cous cous for lunch when I did say I'd start Dukan today - oops.

What's all this quiche business?

Fellatio - How exciting. Possibly. Depending on where it is.

I have never looked more ugly and uncared for than I did when I saw a reflection of myself in a aeroplane mirror about a year ago. Dehydrated skin + unkind lighting + up at ungodly hour = frightnight

Pag - don't you have the cheekbone and jowl corrector app?

Ds1 did the ageing app on dd. It was quite close. Poor girl

It doesn't matter what I look like when on top. I can't be bothered with it on top or otherwise.

And I have shorts on today. I have old lady legs. Toned(ish) to the knee but then Jesus Christ, the rest is something akin to a bag of spanners.

We know we can have Botox for lines and fillers for naso-labial lines but what about a saggy jawline, I have so much excess on my cheeks and chin it's getting embarrassing. Any ideas, apart from a big scooping, lower face lift?

very high polo neck?