Messages from step child

[Stepchildrenarehardwork]

So for context. SD was suspended from school, my partner allowed her a sleepover last night. We were staying at his house. I wouldn’t have stayed if I had known.
last night 2am I ended up on the sofa as they were so bloody loud. 5am I heard almighty banging and 5.45am she was in the kitchen banging aroud making food and having no respect. Yet we all have to respect that she is in bed until 11am and to be completely silent until she wakes up.
he asked why I was asleep on the sofa so I explained and he Asked did I have proof so I had a time stamped video of the noise.
he had a conversation with her tonight.

she then sent me this-

you can delete that video of me u don’t have consent to take videos of me and my friend one it’s weird two u had no need too and i don’t care if it “woke you up” you should’ve been in ur room not in the living room and dad was fast asleep so was everyone else so i wasn’t being too noisy either u js want to argue for the sake of it and you have ur own bloody house to go to if u think it’s too loud here next time stay there if u don’t like the noise of it so ur not recording me like a weirdo next time i find out ur recording me ill do the exact same thing to you when you’re moving around in ur own house and see if u like that and next time u have a problem with me talk to me not my dad since he doesn’t want to have u talking to me through him

my reply back-

Unfortunately it was very loud last night, the boys struggled to get to sleep and this was also mentions by them to your dad. I was woken up at 2am and I went downstairs as it was quieter. I heard you banging around in the kitchen at 5.45am and I didn’t speak to you at all this morning about it because your friend was there. Your dad questioned why I was sleeping on the sofa so I explained it was too noisy. Unfortunate your dad always likes everything as proof so I yes I do have all the noise being made so he couldn’t accuse me of staying downstairs for a different reason. We are meant to be a family and respect each other. I always respect you are asleep in the mornings and I am as quiet as possible out of respect, and I am also making sure the boys to do, and on the occasion they did make noise and disturb you they were disciplined and had things taken away. Your dad said this morning he would speak to you so I left it at that. Next time you have a sleepover I would just appreciate that you respect everyone else in the house.

her reply was—

the boys was asleep so idk what ur on ab dad said it didn’t wake him up or jessica and the boys was fast asleep and you always like to cause problems and you’re only saying something nice because you’ve said to dad it has to be me or you and you know full well he’s gna choose his kids over a woman who doesn’t want his kids around. talk to me instead of my dad he has a lot to deal with and has work.

Am I right to feel angry?

Although that means you’re not even earning minimum wage? Nowhere near.

Taking kids to Florida on government money is outrageous , the benefits system has gone mad if this is true , most of is worked hard all our lives to attain a reasonable standard of living despite some of us having health issues , but you can hardly work but can get to Florida and Greece ?? Shameless

Exactly this. Sounds like you knew exactly what you were doing keeping that money out of your bank account. Grim.

Does that £2.8k UC include childcare?

Oh it’s you OP. You were planning to move some savings to your son’s account so that the gift from your dad wouldn’t take you over the threshold where you’d lose any UC, I remember from a thread under another name.

Oh and after he left your dog alone and got so drunk you were worried about SS involvement from the paramedics at the scene, you said you were definitely leaving him. You also said you were frightened he could get violent when a poster asked you directly.

You didn’t stop the relationship though. You continued it and continued bringing your kids around him all the time. And facilitating your son ‘adoring’ him and confiding in him. Despite knowing what he is like.

These poor kids 😔

I thought HRC DLA is based on night time needs - yet you claim on this thread that you drag the child out for sleep overs multiple nights a week and that your children sleep through without making any noise at night and that they stay in their room until 9am as you told them to.

If you have such a high needs child why are you providing such an unstable living situation for them?

Oh and you said elsewhere in March this year that you were attending couples counselling.

Did you tell them he stops you seeing your friends and family and has given you a list of what you are and aren’t allowed to do?

The very best thing you can do is buy yourself a new pair of trainers and run the fuck away from this awful situation…..I’m a stepmum and have been for 18 years and not in a months of Sundays would I have accepted this shit….

@Justkeepingplatesspinning
Standard allowance 400.14
houaing £840
chidlren £631.81
disabled child 495
LCWRA 423

@excelledyourself£300 for 8 hours a week. Is 24 hours a month. Which is £12.50 a hour so just over x

@AMurderofMurderingCrows no it doesn’t

8 hours a week is 32 hours in a 4 week month.

@Away2000so he is up until 10.30-11. If he is up duen the night then he needs to be watched as he is a danger as he will climb over bannisters etc and do things he shouldn’t as doesn’t understand they aren’t safe. He wakes anytime from
5-7am. When he wakes duen the night it can take 2-3 hours to get back to sleep and this is normally week days with school and everything so we stay home these days. He does the same wherever it’s because he can’t

he is the same in whatever house he is in. He has a sleepover 2 nights a week and what we classed as family. He doesn’t make noise when he wakes duen the night I just have to sit with him to get him back to sleep. He stays in with his brother when we stayed at my partners so he would watch his iPad etc with him and they have time together and irs actually quite sweet.

he has only ever known life with my partner and staying at his, so the last few days he has been very up and down because it’s not his normal routine of seeing him on his lunch etc. but in doing my best.

yes a lot went on but we tried couples counselling and tbh I didn’t find it that helpful.f but he stopped the drink etc around me and my kids so that was good. When he had a drink I worried as he can either be emotional or gets very angry and there is that risk hence why I made the no drinking around my kids.

That doesn't stack up, probably like everything else in your threads.

@excelledyourselfyes pays me for 24 hours and then I get my hair done with the lady I do the admin for as a exchange too as it helps me with my fibro

Always an answer!

DLA is for children.

But the fact he drinks and takes drugs while in charge of his own kids wasn’t enough to turn you off him? I can’t get over that. A man who does that while in sole charge of his kids is attractive to you? Jesus.

Does the father of your children know about the chaos your children have been introduced to since you started seeing this man?

Edited to nothing.

So you’re also underreporting your income, taking some “in kind” rather than taxable / in a form that might affect your benefit claim? Not a benefits expert but a quick Google tells me your UC claim would be affected from £411 per month (tho probably would only make a slight difference initially). If you actually were paid £12.50 per hour for 8 hours per week it would just tip you over that amount (since there are 4.33 weeks in a month) so I wonder if your special arrangement isn’t a coincidence.

Quite.

It's fraud , which OP's father is now a party to, and I know of someone who has recently been found out manipulating money just like this and has been made to pay UC back until the books balance again .

I find behaviour like this utterly repugnant and think it takea the piss out of every low paid in full time worker plus those folk genuinely in need of assistance. No wonder the system needs severely looked at .

Still don't know how OP will manage all the waiting in line at Florida with her disabilities.
.. or the heat ..or the flight length and jet lag . All triggering to the autoimmune conditions she has .

Really strange that you can't get mobility component OP, given the list of other benefits.

Wow that’s a large gas and elec bill

And yet more fraudulent CRIMINAL activity . What sort of a role model for your children do you think you are being ?

Please please use some of the money you are given for your health needs for counselling to sort yourself out . You are headed down a very dark path to a miserable life bereft of self worth and personal achievement . Think how you are going to manage to fund your life style once the children are grown and away and their benefits won't be yours to do whatever you decide with.

And did you know you are legally obliged to inform them when you.go.on holiday? Thought not .

@Thebelleofstmarysi will get a fast pass. And have extra day either side to sleep for allowances x