Yes I knew he had kids

[chaticat]

But I didn't realise when we had our own child I'd be left to do so much of the parenting by myself.

He does their washing and his. I do mine and LO's. He had to travel 3 hours to see them and come back so I'm left alone during what would for others be "family time".

I find myself thinking I'd be better off separating as then he'd see LO every other weekend one on one and give them some attention! The DSC arrive and out comes the red carpet and LO is left to me.

he moved 3 hours away from his children
or his children moved 3 hours from him

poor things having to do that round journey so regularly

every other weekend?

They live 1.5 hours away. She moved. Originally he was 8 hours away when she moved

poor things
every other weekend
how old are they?

and do you separately cook?

what’s weekends like when he is there?

I’d ask him why he had another child if he wasn’t going to bother spending time with them.

you did catch that it’s only every other weekend

and he’s travelling to collect his other children?

That sounds tough.

have you discussed it with him, can changes be made?
What were the plans before baby was born?

eg you mention washing, can he do his yours and baby during the week so there’s less at the weekend?

Or, and I say this gently, is this a situation where ‘your kids, your problem’ is in place? Because the downside of this is he’ll have less time with your child.

'I find myself thinking I'd be better off separating as then he'd see LO every other weekend one on one and give them some attention! The DSC arrive and out comes the red carpet and LO is left to me.'

What often happens is that father's co-ordinate this so all the children come at once so this might not happen.

You will get lots of people coming along and sticking the boot in and telling you to suck it up, it's part of being a blended family bla bla bla. But realistically I can understand your frustration. It's great that he's a dedicated and consistent dad to his kids but if it's at the expense of his younger child then it's not on.

What I would suggest is maybe because he lives full time with your dc he feels like when his dc come every other weekend he needs to prioritise them and leave your little one to you. I don't understand the separate washing etc but if it's only EOW then it's not very often really. Is he hands on with your dc on a day to day basis?

What does he do on the weekend he doesn’t have his other children.

He has his other children for a very small part of every fortnight. Surely your shared child is getting f far more time with their father than his kids are?

He only sees them every other weekend and your complaining 😮

Dig deep for some empathy!

Honest to god I am beyond grateful my ex is with a wonderful caring woman who treats my kids like her own when they are there. He has them 50/50 and they love her to bits.

OP have a word with yourself your being incredibly selfish

Why aren’t you seeing his children with him? They’re your child’s half siblings.

does he have them overnight at all.

You say he does their washing. Then that he travels 3 hours to see them. So are they with you any nights?

i think the op has probably crawled off

The problem is their lives are all separated. Why doesn't he do all the washing rather than just his and his children‘s? That‘s a huge level of petty.

and why if you separated would he have your child one-on-one? Surely he is going to have all his children on the same weekend. How likely really is he not to have a weekend to himself, a man who separates his own washing and one child‘s washing from the load?

Move closer to the step children.

really will make everything easier, particularly once they are in secondary school and can get themselves to your house after school on Fridays rather than having to be collected.

talk to your dp about making sure he includes youngest dc with older ones so they all feel like one family, not separate groups. (Age gaps will make this difficult but not impossible)

then accept if your dp isn’t pulling his weight doing 50% of the household chores/cooking/laundry etc, that’s a dp problem, not a step parenting problem.

Maybe go to Site Stuff and ask MN for a separate Bitter Ex-Wives Board? There's nothing in the OP to justify any of your bold assumptions. Just the usual Disney dad overlooking his younger child.

so he sees his children from a previous relationship once a fortnight? and he lives with you and LO (whatever LO stands for?) almost all the time.

you sound bitter to me that he spends time with his these children. why don't you go with him? why are you not encouraging your children and his to be one big happy family?

Every other weekend? So he sees his kids 48 days a year?

Every other weekends and holidays. I naively assumed when his kids were here we'd do family stuff? No? Not oh ill take the dsc here today and leave me with the LO.

He can try but I'm not helping him do that

I'm not travelling 3 hours with LO to see their school plays. Don't be silly.

They live extremely rurally so no. Not doing that. That's why he didn't live nearer when I met him