Take care of SS while partner works?

[Firsttimemum0558]

My partner and I have SS (aged 4) 2 days, 2 nights a week. In the next few weeks my partner is needing to work 7 days a week, 20 hour days. We have a 7 month old baby together (unrelated but he’s had 4 surgeries so far and requires more) and partner has asked if I’ll have his son on his usual days when he’s working. I understand we’re a family and I should help out but it’s an hours drive to get him and come back (baby hates the car and screams the whole time) and SS mother won’t do any pick ups or drop offs. Bedtime would be difficult with bathing them both and putting them to bed as baby is ebf and I feel uncomfortable doing this in front of SS, and while I’ve had them both for a few hours at a time, I feel intimidated doing 2 days and 2 nights alone with them every week.
Me and my partner have very different parenting approaches and I don’t agree with a lot of things he allows SS to do when he’s here, but he won’t allow me to change these things even if I take care of him.
I want to say no as in my opinion SS comes here to see his dad not for me, but is this unreasonable as I chose to have a family with him and his child?

You can say ‘no’. It’s a full sentence.

Practice using it. Regularly.

Youre not selfish. They are not your children. Their dad is being selfish. They want to spend time with him but he has decided not to see them.

Can you ask DH parents if they want to spend time with their grandchildren?

You’re presuming he is employed. He may well be self employed.

This is a good idea. Although I would suggest OP makes this suggestion to her OH rather than taking responsibility for organising it.

Sorry I’ve not read the whole thread but seen this.. why on earth is this dad’s responsibility? Surely equal between mum and dad?

No response from @Firsttimemum0558 ?

I answered this and is my personal opinion. The parent the child spends most time with in this case his mother, is responsible for fetching and carrying him when with her. This is the dads constant time for him to see his child therefore my personal opinion is, it is his responsibility to make the contact happen by collecting and returning when done

OP has had lots of threads where she is advised to LTB. She doesn't want that. She wants validation on her thoughts that her 4YO SS is a brat and his mother is evil for not disappearing off the face of the earth with her son. Because then her partner will definitely become a wonderful family man and they will live happily ever after as a family of 3.

You must have excelled in the long jump at school.

Did you not read OPs other threads? Her boyfriend is trash.

I can’t find them?

Anyone can paste a username in to advanced search.
Try that before telling someone they're long jumping. 😄

@Hugefan

That is spot on.

And if it were just the op that was being affected by her shit, romanticed,decisions, it would be fine. Go wild, it's your life.

But now her young kid will be negatively affected by a shit selfish father, but also it keeps the cycle going through her child of what is 'normal'.

Is he a farmer @Firsttimemum0558 ?

Her boyfriend is a shit partner and a shit father. Op cannot see life being any better without him yet. He simply doesn't give one about anyone. People should not justify the actions and inactions of a shit person. It doesnt help.

I agree my childrens dad says i have to meet him half way he lives 20 mins away says hes not doing me a favour picking up and dropping off every other weekend… what about the parenting i do in the 2 weeks and you cant even pick them up

Oh i dunno @Astariel Some will do anything to keep a man!

As someone who’s DSS’s mum moved an hour away and tried to ask my husband to do all pick ups and drop offs, I totally disagree.

Why would you have a child with someone whose parenting style you don’t agree with? This sounds like an unworkable relationship

It would be a NO from me. Contact time is for the father/child to be together.

No one does 7 day weeks on 20 hours per day - even on cruise ships you get time off, farming might be the one profession but then they are usually living on the farm.