Honeymoon & DSD

[MinionsHooray]

Myself and my partner will be getting married next year finally.

We have two children together.

DSD will be attending the wedding as will our kids.

However, I would like to go on our honeymoon with no children if possible but we may have to take our two joint children if my mother can’t have them.

My partner has mentioned bringing dsd if we have to take our kids but I really don’t want too. I’d like to take the least amount of kids possible really.

Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?

It sounds that her SD would be better of away from her as possible to be honest. This cannot be the first cruelty to be bestowed on her in a decade. Poor girl.

So why do you feel the need to get married at all, or have a honeymoon? You're older now, THREE kids, been together 12+ years and yes, life is pretty much going to be the same. So why all the fuss about a traditional honeymoon. A family holidays in these circumstances would be ideal. You're THEEE kids will be old enough in a few years for you and DH to have as many kid free holidays as you want.

I am indeed 😅

Hi OP. I am a stepmum (I feel that's important to declare here).

You have been in your stepdaughter life since she was 3? Is that right? Or have I done the maths wrong. So by now she is most definitely going to feel completely pissed off if her siblings go with you but she doesn't.

I am all for not every child has to go on every holiday. But no. You can't take two children on your honeymoon and not the other.

The silly emoji use doesn't paint you in any better a light.

There’s probably some drip feed backstory here like they only see DSD twice a year because she’s stopped coming, her mum will refuse a school term holiday, she’s doing her GCSEs that week and she makes voodoo dolls of OP in her spare time.

OP you deserve an entirely childfree honeymoon, focus on how to make that happen!

It would be incredibly unkind but you must know that. Please don’t do it.

The drip feed that it's in term time puts another spin on it. You can't take a 15 yo, in their GCSE year, out of school for a week/ two weeks (amend as appropriate). Even if her dad doesn't care about her education, would her DM allow it? Has she bene asked/informed it might be a possibility?

IMO, you should rearrange it for the school holidays if you take the children.

Bloody hell no, you can’t take your 2 own DC and not invite their similar aged, half sibling who has been in your life since she was a toddler. Dire thing to even think about really.

I think you mentioned that you are taking kids out of school if they do end up going; would dsd be able to do that (would her mum agree) that’s one of the reasons my sc didn’t always come with us as it caused too much drama especially when they were older so this might not be an issue anyway

Absolutely nothing wrong with wearing white on your wedding day. That's nothing to do with this.

Older? I’m not sure how old you think I am but I’m probably younger then you are imagining. I wouldn’t be classed as older just yet 😂

Iv already said my partner is the one that wants to get married, I actually don’t care. I care more about the honeymoon then the wedding. He cares more about the wedding then the honeymoon so we balance each other out.

I think OP was just responding to the silly emoji in the post they responded to

As soon as you take your kids it becomes a family holiday. I think there is some wriggle room for families where you have a 15 year old and a 2/3 year old, as clearly that's very different, issues with school and so on, but that's not the case here, you're just excluding your stepchild from a family holiday. It's not a honeymoon with two or three kids in tow.

That’s correct.

It looks a bit daft when you’re in your 40s and have teenagers

You sound ridiculous and unkind .. it's hardly a traditional honeymoon if you've been together for ten years with two DC and a DSD ... just postpone the holiday until you can go child free. I can hardly believe a mature couple would even think like that.

In that case, why do you need a big special child-free honeymoon? Why can't you wait until you can go away with no children, if that's what you want?

If you marry a man with children, you can't pick and choose the bits that suit you.

It is one very big reason why I would never have married a man with children. Blended families are just endless stress, from what I've seen, and the children are always the losers.

I’m not in my 40s!!!! Cheeky moo!

I think you are missing a trick here! I can understand you do t want to take any of them but the 15 year old (assuming she is sensible) can help entertain the younger kids so that you can at least have some time to yourselves.

It is, a bit. It's supposed to signify virginity and all that stuff. You're hardly going to look virginal with three children in attendance.

To be fair you actually sound very young

Haha, really hit a nerve with the 'older' comment, didn't I? Proving exactly what I thought but I'll only get kicked off if I say what i really think.

I'm glad you think you balance each other out. I have doubts myself, as I think both of your selfish, uncaring attitude towards your DSD sways the scales in one direction only. But hey, what do I know?

Not a lot by the looks of it.

Unbelievable. This can't be real.