Honeymoon & DSD

[MinionsHooray]

Myself and my partner will be getting married next year finally.

We have two children together.

DSD will be attending the wedding as will our kids.

However, I would like to go on our honeymoon with no children if possible but we may have to take our two joint children if my mother can’t have them.

My partner has mentioned bringing dsd if we have to take our kids but I really don’t want too. I’d like to take the least amount of kids possible really.

Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?

You can do your proper honeymoon when you have childcare or when you can take all 3 of your children.
Still haven't answered other questions I see, you're not a politician by any chance are you?

You can't start married life by doing this! The symbolism of uniting families and then immediately singling one out- not reasonable not right. You take them all or none.

We have been together over a decade. That’s not going to happen. He’s actually the one pushing to get married, not me.

Being totally honest I don’t want to do a weekend away for my our honeymoon.

Just amended that there for you, might help with your thinking 😉

Sorry but considering all the kids are similar in age I think it would be really unfair not to take DSD. If your two were babies/ toddlers I would think maybe it’s okay, but at 10 and 12 you’re going to end up doing activities geared towards older kids which your DSD would no doubt enjoy. If you’ve got 2 kids with you what difference does it make having a third? It’s not like your two will be going to bed super early or like you can have adult chat around them, in what way will your DSD change the dynamic?

😄 🤣

I think it's fine to have a honeymoon 12 months after the wedding. 🤷‍♀️ You could combine it with your first anniversary to make it extra special.

Reading that was so sad. They are your step child, but your children's sibling. I understand your honeymoon won't be what you imagined, but is it worth potentially making your DSD feel she isn't really a part of the family unit? Arrange a big holiday with your husband next year and do a family celebration trip after the wedding.

Is he also pushing to exclude his oldest child from a family holiday? Have you even discussed it with him? Is the wedding even booked yet?

The kids are way too close in age for you to do this and it not be really shitty behaviour.

Also, if a friend of your 12yo’s offered to take her or the week, would you leave her behind and only take the 10yo? What if your mum said she was happy to have one child but not both, would you leave one and not take the other?

I bet you wouldn’t be happy taking one of your biological children on holiday and not the other even if you had childcare available, it shouldn’t be different just because your DSD isn’t biologically yours. She is still part of the family and deserves to be included.

Your dsd will be 16 next year, will she even want to come on your honeymoon? I would have hated to go on my dad's at that age. In fact I don't even know if he went on one or not...

Ha ha.

I do call it my honeymoon 😂 it’s my honeymoon and his wedding 😂

Bloody hell. Sorry, but in your shoes I would INSIST DSC goes if you and your fiances children do, therefore making it a 'familymoon' - many people now do this. Ffs it's not as if you've never been intimate before. I'm afraid if I was marrying partner and they said to take our children but not to take DSC, I'd simply not marry them.

This is why Stepmothers get a bad name.

Great to read such an original and thoughtful statement 🙄.

Op I would just postpone until you can have the child free honeymoon you want. Then you get an actual honeymoon and your DSD won't be hurt by being left out.

I mentioned I would like the least amount of children possible and Yes the wedding is booked!

And his reply was...?

You sound horrendously lacking in any thought for others

’hmmm okay’ and carried on talking about what kind of wedding favours we should have!

Haha that's such a ridiculously unconvincing reason - why do you actually not want her there?!

Sounds like you're well suited if he doesn't give a stuff about DSC either. Poor child.

It would be all or none for me. It's not going to be a honeymoon with kids anyway, more of a family holiday. It wouldn't be fair to exclude one.

All kids or no kids that's it ! Or start your married life as the evil stepmother 🤷‍♀️

If you take the kids along, it’s not going to really be a honeymoon anyway. It you can’t arrange care, just do a weekend and then have an actual couples trip someday when it is feasible.

symbolically, calling a trip your honeymoon and bringing only your shared children is BAD. Taking only you shared children on a holiday is one thing, but it becomes a celebration of the family if you bring some of the children so you can’t exclude one child.

I'd blame the father for being so spineless to allow it to happen