Honeymoon & DSD

[MinionsHooray]

Myself and my partner will be getting married next year finally.

We have two children together.

DSD will be attending the wedding as will our kids.

However, I would like to go on our honeymoon with no children if possible but we may have to take our two joint children if my mother can’t have them.

My partner has mentioned bringing dsd if we have to take our kids but I really don’t want too. I’d like to take the least amount of kids possible really.

Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?

Because I want to take the least amount of kids possible! Like another poster said on the front page.

All or none. DSD is 50% your DP genes.
To her it would be like she is being left out of a big special family holiday.

He deliberately changed the subject to a topic he knows you like.

Bollox you just don't want his child there

You've known your stepdaughter for over ten years! They all go out none do. FFS

Honestly, just wait until they all have childcare is you want a childfree honeymoon.

or if
Gotta love predictive text

You sound awful, sorry.

Try thinking of this from her perspective, she is going to think her dad (and you but that seems kind of obvious) doesn't love her/want to spend time with her as much as his new family.

I agree with others it's a selfish thing to do and is really going to damage her relationship with you both. I'd be incredibly upset. Really selfish attitude to say it's about the least kids possible, doubt you'd take her but not the others if the situation were reversed.

Well, it sounds like you've both found your perfect match, OP. I hope DSD's mum is bringing up a strong, kind, independent and intelligent young woman who can understand that she's worthy of more than your and her dad's shitty attitude and behaviour

Sorry OP but it also sounds to me like a holiday for only the ‘proper family’ although I am sure that’s not what you want. I would have thought this as a fifteen year old girl too. It’ll affect her more than it would if she was much younger.

I can't believe reading this, or that it's even a consideration to leave DSD behind.

It's such an awful thing to even consider. It really is not going to make any difference if you have two or three children with you. You are hardly going to be able to have a true honeymoon with any children with you. It's a family holiday if children are with you and you are wanting to exclude DSD from the family holiday.

Hi OP, another step mum here. I can see your reasoning and it sounds logical but from an emotional perspective I really think this could cause more problems either in the intense period around the wedding or afterwards. Like others have suggested, either arrange the honeymoon for a time when your mum can take your shared DC or take all three.

Thing is, once you take two DC of 10/11 and 12/13, is there much difference taking another one - in fact a much older and therefore much easier to be self sufficient and amuse themselves DC? Once the two kids are coming it changes the vibe anyway from a honeymoon to a family holiday.

It's just not believable that you'd bother to take this point about going from 2 to 3 similar aged children just because you want the fewest kids there - absolutely if it was the difference between child free and not, but if it was 3 of your own kids you wouldn't think it was worth looking round for ways to leave one behind just so you could take the fewest number of kids.

Op, if you have to take 2, a third (especially at their ages) won't make a difference. Taking ANY kids changes it from a honeymoon to a family holiday. I'd take none or I'd take 3.

If it was 3 of your own children you wouldn’t leave one at home.
I think what you are proposing is incredibly cruel. Please don’t do this

So if if you had an older biological child and they were old enough to stay with a friend and their family for your honeymoon period - would you get them to do this and take the younger two? Even if the older one felt left out because you wanted to take the least number of children?
Wait until your mum is free for a real child free honeymoon.

Honestly it’s ridiculous you want a big fuss and are being precious about a honeymoon after 3 kids and this many years together.

I very much doubt my married life will feel any different to the life I have been living for the last 10+ years.

You have been together twelve plus years. It isn’t a honeymoon, it’s a vacation.

A honeymoon actually just means a period of joy and celebration after marriage as people used to drink a honey based mead drink for a full moon cycle (a month) after marriage to celebrate.

You’ve helped raise this child since she was pre school age given there’s only three years between her and your first bio child? And you’d leave her at home and take “your” children?! Poor girl. Hope her Dad puts his foot down and says it’s all or none!

Why is it ridiculous that I want a nice honeymoon?

Im only planning on getting married once!

You really just don't care, do you?

Because I think you give up the dream of the honeymoon when you’ve got 3 kids ffs. Are you wearing white too? 😂

The more you reply, the worse you sound. Poor girl.

Well you might have to.

I very much doubt my married life will feel any different to the life I have been living for the last 10+ years.

You might well find it does if you start excluding your DSD as soon as you marry.

Unless you mean you already feel like the evil SM?

To be honest I wouldn’t want any kids on my honeymoon, biological or step. At their ages there’ll be strops and everything will be centred around them.

Can you ask if they can stay with either your or their friends for a week? I’d have an extra kid for a week as a wedding gift to a good friend!