Honeymoon & DSD

[MinionsHooray]

Myself and my partner will be getting married next year finally.

We have two children together.

DSD will be attending the wedding as will our kids.

However, I would like to go on our honeymoon with no children if possible but we may have to take our two joint children if my mother can’t have them.

My partner has mentioned bringing dsd if we have to take our kids but I really don’t want too. I’d like to take the least amount of kids possible really.

Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?

No it doesn't

Totally ageee Berks ... I reluctantly attended the third wedding of a woman in her 50s acting like a blushing virginal bride in a silly white frock, surrounded by numerous adult DC and SC.

Haha, really have hit a nerve.

Why is it cheeky to think someone is in their 40s?

We have EOW contact which I believe is a pretty standard arrangement.

We sometimes have her extra in the holidays depending on what she has on.

I’m not being cheeky, average age of a first time mum is 29, so you having been with your partner for 10 years and having teenagers would, on average, make you in your 40s. Even if you act like you’re 17

Oh I thought that was the veil.

ha ha So now it’s an attack on women in their 40s/50s wearing white to their wedding.

Leaving your SD and taking the other two would be a really shitty thing to do.

No need to be so ageist

Acting like I’m 17 because I want to take the least amount of kids on a honeymoon? OK.

This 100%. Don't take any kids with you! Even if it's a weekend away, it should be child free for your honeymoon.

I feel like you just created this thread for an argument. Everything is in an aggressive tone and you don't care for any advice that disagrees with you.

You shouldn't have gone. If you can't support a bride and groom on their wedding day you shouldn't go. No one forced you. You clearly think she's scum.

Bet you wouldn’t leave one of your biological children at home and take your step daughter.

You’re a mother, a step mother and you’ve been together for 10 years. It’s a holiday

If you want to take the least amount that is 0

@MinionsHooray why are you asking when the answer is more or less universally WTF??

The difference between having your own two plus one extra FIFTEEN year old is eff all and you know it.

All this “I just want to take as few kids as possible” just doesn’t wash. It’s bonkers.

The difference between a honeymoon with no kids and 2 kids is VAST. I wouldn’t do it myself.

Even a honeymoon with 2 older kids and then say a baby or a toddler - yes a diffence. This none. She can shower, wash, dress, operate a mobile and take herself to bed.

You’d both be absolute twats to not offer to bring her.

I absolutely did not. I’m just answering questions factually. My tone is not aggressive in the slightest.

Which I will be taking if my mother can get the time off.

If you take your own children, and your DSD wants to come, then you would be a bitch to refuse her. As soon as you add kids, it stops being a honeymoon and becomes a family holiday. So basically you want to exclude your DSD from your family holiday, which is just nasty.

Also I don’t get why you’re being so precious about your “honeymoon”, when you’re going to great lengths to say you’re not fussed about getting married as you’ve been together so long. If the wedding isn’t that important, why not plan a child free trip another time. Call it what you like.

Just don’t be nasty now, because that sort of shit really damages teens.

The only possible time I can think this might be ok is if it were a newborn who couldn't be left with anyone else and a teenager. Even then I'd be very careful.

Basically you are being advised that it would not be a sensible or kind thing to do to take only some of your children away for this once in a lifetime event.
It’s not the same as any old holiday and therefore more emotive. You have to invite all of them or take none. Your SD will never forget that she wasn’t taken on this trip even if she doesn’t actually really want to come! If you wish to preserve the balance of your blended family and keep the relationship with your SD you have to give her the option to come along.
This is just common sense.
All or none.
Can’t you find anyone else who’d be willing to share out the care of your kids for a couple of days? Cousins? Friends??

Exactly. It’s just a bloody holiday.

Excellent. I suggest if she can't then maybe all go on a family holiday to celebrate the family unit and have a honeymoon when your mum can get the time off.

This. If you're taking two it's shot to leave one out