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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Honeymoon & DSD

315 replies

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 17:39

Myself and my partner will be getting married next year finally.

We have two children together.

DSD will be attending the wedding as will our kids.

However, I would like to go on our honeymoon with no children if possible but we may have to take our two joint children if my mother can’t have them.

My partner has mentioned bringing dsd if we have to take our kids but I really don’t want too. I’d like to take the least amount of kids possible really.

Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?

OP posts:
Hintofreality · 05/06/2023 17:42

That would be a really shitty thing to do. Either take all the kids or no kids.,

Calaleia · 05/06/2023 17:42

No! You can’t take some of your kids but not them all, so unfair.

cardiganboo · 05/06/2023 17:43

That's wildly cruel

FortheBeautyoftheEarth · 05/06/2023 17:43

Oh gosh - respectfully, I think that would be a big mistake? What sort of message does that send to your DSD? 'Wedding + new 'real family' holiday.' Even if that's not your reason, I'm sure that would be how they would interpret it.

I hope you can find a way to be completely child free thought for you honeymoon OP! 😀You will only get one!

Aquamarine1029 · 05/06/2023 17:43

Fucking hell, this is really bad. You either take all of the children or you don't go.

Makemyday99 · 05/06/2023 17:43

I would agree with you. Your kids are your responsibility so you have no option but to take them if you can’t get care sorted but presumably dsd can stay with her mum so care isn’t an issue. I get its not because she’s your ‘step’ child but because you have no option but to take your own but ideally don’t want to take any of them. I would just say no to your DH

Original poster
MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 17:43

I suppose I don’t view it as a ‘normal’ holiday.

OP posts:
FortheBeautyoftheEarth · 05/06/2023 17:44

*though

Original poster
MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 17:44

Makemyday99 · 05/06/2023 17:43

I would agree with you. Your kids are your responsibility so you have no option but to take them if you can’t get care sorted but presumably dsd can stay with her mum so care isn’t an issue. I get its not because she’s your ‘step’ child but because you have no option but to take your own but ideally don’t want to take any of them. I would just say no to your DH

This is exactly it! I have no option but to take mine but I do have the option with dsd and she could happily stay with her mum.

OP posts:
WheelsUp · 05/06/2023 17:46

I would rearrange the honeymoon for when your mum can have your kids so it can be child free.

Sugarcube84 · 05/06/2023 17:46

We are taking our joint child on honeymoon only 3 so no worries about school our other kids my ds his dd and ds all high school age are staying with their other parent. We can’t take them out of school and are doing a very expensive long haul with them all the year after in school holidays.

what are the ages? could it been explained as going in term time and would it interfere with normal contact?

Wale90 · 05/06/2023 17:46

Whilst this may be technically true, from your dad's perspective he isn't important or worthy enough to go on a holiday that you will talk about fondly for the rest of your life.

It's a bit shitty really.

aSofaNearYou · 05/06/2023 17:47

WheelsUp · 05/06/2023 17:46

I would rearrange the honeymoon for when your mum can have your kids so it can be child free.

Me too.

Original poster
MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 17:50

Sugarcube84 · 05/06/2023 17:46

We are taking our joint child on honeymoon only 3 so no worries about school our other kids my ds his dd and ds all high school age are staying with their other parent. We can’t take them out of school and are doing a very expensive long haul with them all the year after in school holidays.

what are the ages? could it been explained as going in term time and would it interfere with normal contact?

All of them will be a year older next at the wedding but

DSD 15
DD12
DS10

OP posts:
PrinnyPaupersPurse · 05/06/2023 17:52

You may have two children that your mum can't care for but your "DH" has 3 children that deserve to be treated equally. Be absolutely brutally honest. If you had a child that wasn't his, would you be taking your joint children away and leaving the kids that was only yours at home? No you wouldn't add it would be very cruel to do that age would suggest to YOUR child that the shared children are more important. Just like it does to the street kid you are happy to leave at home as you don't share any DNA with them.

Honestly, this place leaves me horrified at times.

Cosycover · 05/06/2023 17:52

Ffs really

Sugarcube84 · 05/06/2023 17:53

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 17:50

All of them will be a year older next at the wedding but

DSD 15
DD12
DS10

Show quote history

Ah so with those ages you can’t do what we have, I’d wait until your mum could have them and go child free.

tommyshelbysbunnit · 05/06/2023 17:53

You want your DH to leave one of his children at home, would you do that?

Original poster
MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 17:56

Sugarcube84 · 05/06/2023 17:53

Ah so with those ages you can’t do what we have, I’d wait until your mum could have them and go child free.

Show quote history

We are planning on taking our kids out of school.

OP posts:
mybestchildismycat · 05/06/2023 17:58

Given that your eldest joint child is 12, and only three years younger than DSD, your DSD must have been in your life for well over a decade, since she was a toddler.

If DSD declines the invite then fine, but to not invite her, or make her feel unwelcome, is just awful.

theculture · 05/06/2023 18:00

With the kids that close in ages - no you shouldn't leave DSD behind

It would make it very obvious to her that you don't consider her part of your family - and aren't even bothered to pretend

Makemyday99 · 05/06/2023 18:00

I think the suggestion to go when your mum can have them is a good one, it’s not a honeymoon if kids are there but I’m def with you about not taking dsd as she lives with her mum so care not an issue

Seas164 · 05/06/2023 18:01

Seriously?

AlanJohnsonsBeemer · 05/06/2023 18:03

No you shouldn’t do that, it is really mean.
Do you not like her?

CuteCillian · 05/06/2023 18:03

You've waited long enough for a wedding. Just wait a bit longer for the honeymoon until your joint DC have childcare and you can have a child free break.
I think you would be very heartless to take your joint DC and not your SDD.