How long do you keep a room for the DSC?

peacelemon · 2023-05-29T20:15:47+00:00

How long do you keep a room for the DSC? Do you think it would be ok for us to downsize and get a two bed or a 2 bed and a box? We would be able to live somewhere nicer then. We could get pull out sofas for the two DSC?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HirplesWithHaggis · 29/05/2023 21:16

How long since they moved out?

lookluv · 29/05/2023 21:20

How old are they and re they are at uni / college

Original poster

peacelemon · 29/05/2023 21:20

They haven't moved out

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DisforDarkChocolate · 29/05/2023 21:21

Surely it's too soon to ask if they still live there?

FloweryName · 29/05/2023 21:22

As long as they’re still regularly using their bedrooms. I wouldn’t downsize until the children are set up with homes of their own.

Motheranddaughter · 29/05/2023 21:22

Too soon if they haven’t already moved out,obviously

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 29/05/2023 21:23

Would you be thinking the same if they were your actual kids and not step kids?

I don't think it's fair if they're still regularly staying. If they're older and don't come as much, then maybe.

Motheranddaughter · 29/05/2023 21:24

The step child bit is surely irrelevant
No way I’ll be selling home until all DC are in secure homes

Floofydawg · 29/05/2023 21:27

Well I guess they have a room at mum's? My eldest SS is now 22 and doesn't have a room here any more.

lunar1 · 29/05/2023 21:53

I thought you were going to say they have finished uni and got jobs. They still fucking live there.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/05/2023 21:54

More info?

Original poster

peacelemon · 29/05/2023 22:01

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 29/05/2023 21:23

Would you be thinking the same if they were your actual kids and not step kids?

I don't think it's fair if they're still regularly staying. If they're older and don't come as much, then maybe.

Of course not as my own kid doesn't only live here once a fortnight and part of the holidays. I guess I'm thinking if we move would it be OK to buy somewhere without a dedicated bedroom for them?

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Original poster

peacelemon · 29/05/2023 22:02

Floofydawg · 29/05/2023 21:27

Well I guess they have a room at mum's? My eldest SS is now 22 and doesn't have a room here any more.

Yeah their mum has a massive house and they have a room each of their own there

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Original poster

peacelemon · 29/05/2023 22:05

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 29/05/2023 21:23

Would you be thinking the same if they were your actual kids and not step kids?

I don't think it's fair if they're still regularly staying. If they're older and don't come as much, then maybe.

Eldest is already wanting to drop contact so they can get a weekend job.

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coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 29/05/2023 22:06

They haven't even moved out yet and you want them to sleep on the a pull out sofa bed?

Jesus Christ.

candlesflamesandbrooms · 29/05/2023 22:09

Depends on age. My mum downsized when I was 16 but I had moved out by then.

You will get a load of people here saying you need to keep the rooms available until they are married (and even then).

I would say 18 (with my own children). Obviously if they needed a place to stay and sleep that's one thing.

But a dedicated bedroom no, spare room that belongs to no one but can be used if place to crash is need sure.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 29/05/2023 22:10

Eldest is already wanting to drop contact so they can get a weekend job.

If they're relegated to sofa beds, I bet both will drop contact. Talk about unwelcoming.

Thelastofbus · 29/05/2023 22:15

If they still come over eow then they still need beds! What does your partner think about this? Sacrificing his relationship with his kids, so you can live somewhere nicer, seems quite brutal.

Floofydawg · 29/05/2023 22:18

I honestly don't get this belief that stepkids still need regular overnight contact into their late teens and early twenties. No one needs two bedrooms at that age, and a relationship can be maintained without the need for them staying over regularly.

NosyHamster · 29/05/2023 22:19

If you’re a ‘together’ family, it’s fine to have a reshuffle as soon as they go to uni, providing there is still room for them during holidays etc

If you’re a step-family, you’re advised to keep a room/shrine for the rest of their lives, to avoid psychological trauma

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/05/2023 22:19

Well as they sound like teenagers they need a room if they are to see /have relationship with their dad

Yes maybe a box room with bunk beds if you are struggling and need to downsize as a last resort

Otherwise no you can let them sleep on sofas

NosyHamster · 29/05/2023 22:20

Floofydawg · 29/05/2023 22:18

I honestly don't get this belief that stepkids still need regular overnight contact into their late teens and early twenties. No one needs two bedrooms at that age, and a relationship can be maintained without the need for them staying over regularly.

Totally agree

Original poster

peacelemon · 29/05/2023 22:20

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 29/05/2023 22:06

They haven't even moved out yet and you want them to sleep on the a pull out sofa bed?

Jesus Christ.

No that's not what I said at all. I was just wondering when it would be ok, so if we moved house and there was like a room that could be an office we could put a pull out bed in there for one of them and a sofa bed in the lounge room for the other. Just otherwise it limits where we can buy for a room that's hardly ever used.

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Original poster

peacelemon · 29/05/2023 22:21

Floofydawg · 29/05/2023 22:18

I honestly don't get this belief that stepkids still need regular overnight contact into their late teens and early twenties. No one needs two bedrooms at that age, and a relationship can be maintained without the need for them staying over regularly.

Yes that's what i was thinking. If it gets to the stage they don't really want to stay here for long then I don't see why they need a whole room solely for their use

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toomuchlaundry · 29/05/2023 22:22

Why is it the mum who is expected to house them as they become adults?