I wonder if you could advise how to deal with it? Is this normal?
My partner's daughter is 9. Our relationship was great until we have moved in together (been together a few years).
Since we moved in together DP decided he wants to have DD here every weekend and every evening when he isn't at work. He works shifts. His ex is happy with it. But that means we don't get a time for just the two of us. None. We used to do so much at the weekends even being at home, we used to go to bed at 3am but now his DD is here all the time, dynamics are completely different, she goes to bed around 11pm and lights out, can't even watch a movie because I'm told it would be too loud. DP started going to bed at the same time as her and I'm spending Saturday nights on my own.
I have spoken to him about it and he says he understands my pov but nothing changed. I don't mind her being here, and I'm not going to say I don't want here here but I still want my relationship as it was. Everything changed so much. We still could spend Saturday nights together when she is asleep, I would like to think?
I can't make pancakes, oh because DD would love to make them, I can't bake anything on my own because DD wants too. I can't put washing on or take it off the line because oh DD will to do it tomorrow. I can't put dishes away from the dryer because DD is going to do it later. I can't sit in the front passenger seat in the car because DD wants to sit next to daddy. We picked her up yesterday and she started moaning and crying why she has to sit in the back, that her place is in the front and DP said of course no problem, then he pulled the car over and told me to swap.
Do you sit in the back of the car when DSC are with you?
Thank you for reading. I needed to vent after another lonely Saturday night and a week full of this.
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Step-parenting
Feeling pushed out
blackOrWhite · 01/05/2022 08:29
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blackOrWhite · 01/05/2022 08:50
He sits in the front when I drive. He won't sit in the back and says it's uncomfortable because he is tall and has more space on the front seat
SoggyPaper · 01/05/2022 08:51
But he expects you to sit there instead.
he is overtly telling you that you don’t matter. Listen to him.
blackOrWhite · 01/05/2022 08:50
He sits in the front when I drive. He won't sit in the back and says it's uncomfortable because he is tall and has more space on the front seat
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Shinyandnew1 · 01/05/2022 08:53
The house is rented and I have no problem with moving out.
Good-I’d spend the day packing!
Does he need your money to help pay the bills? I don’t understand how this DP decided he wants to have DD here every weekend and every evening when he isn't at work. is only a thing now you live there-why did he only start wanting her there more when you moved in-it doesn’t make sense? Unless he lived in a houseshare or something that wouldn’t be nice to have DD in, but now he lives with you and can afford a house, he can, but doesn’t really seem to actually want you there.
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