Step parent support thread

[Narwhalelife]

I wanted to start a step parent support thread. I have been a step parent for 14 years now. We have had the full gambit (!) so i am pretty experienced I also have a DD with DP.

I am appealing to other step parents to be open about their experiences and share in the highs and lows because it can be a taboo subject (the voice of step parents).

This is not a thread for ex wives to bash new partners or to insinuate that all step parents are evil and hate step children and other nonsense I have seen as a lurker on this site.

It’s for advice, chance to vent and just discuss the curious situation of falling daring to fall in love with someone that had children before you met ❤️

JuliaSt1993 it sounds like an awful situation for you all around. I'm sure their DM is abit stumped now their refusing contact and she isn't getting any time off, hopefully she will miss that soon and try talking them round to a more civil ground and you both can see them again.

I hope all is well with your DH

@SudocremOnEverything How are there so many of us in this situation? How can these men not see what they are doing? I get that it can be difficult for them, but to not even try to work as a partnership to overcome the issues for the good of the whole family, it’s just beyond me and why we have so many disagreements.

I’ve been hit with another. It’s his DD birthday in a few weeks and I’ve just found out that we are paying for a birthday activity again that her mum has arranged for her family (inc step kids) and a few friends, my DC isn’t included in that or any of DH family/friends kids, but DH has been invited.
Am I wrong for feeling that at this point we should be doing our own thing for her as a family, given we are married and our kids are practically siblings? Something where she can still bring a couple of friends and my DC not be disregarded?!
DH just says we can go too - yes of course I’m going to drag my DC along to somewhere they weren’t invited to play happy families with a toxic troll.
I’d have been all for making an effort for him and his DD, but this has happened a few times over the years and I’m sick of it, that he’s allowing it to still happen. He’d be fuming if his DD was left out of my DC birthday celebrations like that.

I've been a SM for about 5 years now to 2SS. One is fine but the younger one is a diva, expects to be waited on all weekend and have separate meals cooked just for him. He's lazy and messy and it has seriously affected my mental health knowing he will be in our home all weekend. I end up sitting in another room just to be away from him and then I get the blame for not making an effort! It's really hard not to start ranting at this kid who treats his dad like a servant and dad sees it as being needed by his son
And yes, the exW is a complete demon too

Christ on a bike what on earth is going down with this board.

How are we all doing ? (Posting under a name change) - I periodically switch just to be careful.

@Thelifeofawife we have spoken in the past - I'm aghast as your most recent update. You hanging in there ?

@Thelifeofawife also I posted to soon.

I think you need to point out the hypocrisy every single time. Make his life as difficult as he makes yours in regard to his Dd.

To be honest though I wouldn't go and just do something special for Dd as a unit. Let the troll live under the bridge and find a route that means you don't have to engage.

If in doubt wine helps 💐

Thelifeofawife how frustrating! Why has he agreed to pay for an actively for is ex side of the family when his family are excluded? Doesn't he want to do anything with you all?

@Thelifeofawife That does sound so frustrating. And unfair.

It’s just ridiculous. Has your DH come to his senses?

I do wonder if there is something about being raised as a man that makes it possible to be a huge hypocrite and to think it’s fine to treat their wife poorly (because that’s easier than setting appropriate boundaries with their exes).