Upset about bedrooms.

[Pools27]

Want to keep it short.

All DC are the same sex.

Me and H have a 1.5 year old and he has two older DC as well who are 11 & 13.

Just moving our DC into their room now (I know I'm a bit late!).

DSC 13 has always been quite sensitive and has been making comments that it's not fair that our DC don't have to share a room. DSC share here and I think they do at their mum's too.

Have explained it would be no good one of them sharing a room with our DC as they are so young, they'd never be able to use the bedroom past toddlers bed time etc... Or have friend round and things.

AIBU to think it totally makes sense that youngest has a room to themselves and older two share as similar in age?

How big are the bedrooms ? I mean if you wanted to and if space allows there is some brilliant hacks to 'seperate' rooms

What are the sizes of the rooms, are the two sharing getting the bigger bedroom?

Toddler 100% should have their own room, with the 2 older ones sharing.
However, I'm wondering what the sizes of the rooms is? Is there any possibility of splitting a bigger room (even with temporary divider).
Does the little child have the littlest room?

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Ask them how they suggest choosing who shares with the toddler.

When it goes pear shaped then put the toddler in own room

I just don't see why everything needs to be offered a solution though?

Imo it will not work, for a variety of reasons which have been explained. Do we really HAVE to allow someone to share with the toddler anyway just to prove that it won't work? Or change round bedrooms every week just because?

Can we not just say "no" and these are the reasons?

@ancientgran

What are the sizes of the rooms, are the two sharing getting the bigger bedroom?

They are both doubles practically the same size.

We actually thought they'd want the loft conversion originally as it's more out of the way and "cooler" but they didn't so we have it now.

Is your toddler’s room bigger than theirs? I’d give the step dcs the bigger room and see if you can divide it a bit somehow to give them more privacy. There are some nifty rooms online.

Can we not just say "no" and these are the reasons? absolutely. Just say it once though. The matter is closed.

I have a 6 year old who has his own room, and we have a 14 month old together and my partner has a child who stays once a week. My step child shares with our 14 month old,

I would have thought it made more sense for the teenager to share with the older child, and the 14 month old have their own room. At 14 months mine still woke in the night shouting "mummy" for milk or water and toilet etc, which would have disturbed the teen.

@Mummyoflittledragon

Is your toddler’s room bigger than theirs? I’d give the step dcs the bigger room and see if you can divide it a bit somehow to give them more privacy. There are some nifty rooms online.

Not in any visible way. I'm not sure if you got a tape measure out one or the other may be slightly bigger but it's certainly not noticeable. They are both good sized doubles

Will suggest a room divider to DH. Although they currently have bunk beds (which they asked for!).

If you've already made up your mind and are not planning on considering any other options then why post the thread?

@Svara

If you've already made up your mind and are not planning on considering any other options then why post the thread?

It depends what options are suggested. Room dividers is a good one. Swapping rooms weekly is not.

Could the bunk beds be split into two singles? Then maybe the room could get divided up a bit. This sounds like the best solution.

@Bobbybobbins

Could the bunk beds be split into two singles? Then maybe the room could get divided up a bit. This sounds like the best solution.

They originally had single beds and then asked to swap to bunks less than a year ago

I suggested swapping rooms weekly, monthly, or annually. But for the children to make a suggestion. I'd also expect them to implement the swaps on that basis.

If they can't organise it appropriately, I would take charge and make the ultimate decision with their father. Not sure what your husband's view is on this, as all 3 are his children.

However, we moved house to provide individual bedrooms for our kids once they were 10 or 11. All the same sex, but I understand that privacy and space away from a sibling can be so valuable to them.

Im assuming the 13yo thinks the 11yo should share. What would they say if you suggested the 13yo share with the toddler?

I agree!

It would nice of them to have their own rooms of course and I get what they’re saying because such a young child doesn’t need their own room - but it just wouldn’t work.

If they’re so desperate to try it I would put the baby in their room and see how they cope being woken up early, having no privacy because you need to go in when it’s crying etc.

Maybe in the future if you have a loft you could look into getting floorboards put down but if not they’ll have to suck it up and share like the majority of teens have to do.

With the options and situation you are now in, the toddler having their own room does make the most sense.

However, this is hard on your sc and I would be looking for ways to 'make it up' to them. I wouldn't want to share a room at 13, and this is a situation they now find themselves in through no fault of their own. They have two half rooms each. Never their own space.

I am sure you would do this if you could, but I'd be working towards a 4 bed house.

Would now he the time to re-suggest them moving up to the loft conversion? It would probably be easier for you to be nearer the baby anyway and that way everyone is getting a new room and you can try and give them some separation up there with room dividers or decoration.

Have attached photo but I'm on the app so you might not be able to see it. I don't mean have the beds parallel like that but you can decorate a room to show separate areas.

I would have done the same as you have. It makes sense.

To be honest I don't think the bunks was the best idea now they are getting older. But anyway it doesn't matter. Just say no and be done with it. Is your DP making a fuss or just DSD?

@KindlyKanga

To be honest I don't think the bunks was the best idea now they are getting older. But anyway it doesn't matter. Just say no and be done with it. Is your DP making a fuss or just DSD?

Neither did I but they specifically asked for them less than a year ago! 🤦‍♀️

No, H hasn't really said much of anything. Just older DSC.

and this is a situation they now find themselves in through no fault of their own

They have always shared. It's not a new situation.

Would now he the time to re-suggest them moving up to the loft conversion?

Yep resuggested this not long ago but they still don't want it.

Yes, they have always shared, and now their new baby sibling gets their own room. That's the difference.

The problem with sharing is, as usual it is the middle child who never really gets the choice.

The poor 11 year old will end up worst off because of the “sensitive” older sibling.

Keep it as it is.