AIBU?

[CherylPorter350]

Now I'll start this off with I am a SM and understand it can be trying at times. This...erm..rant is about my DC's SM.

Her and exDH are getting married in March...been together 8 years and they have one DS. My DC have made various comments that she runs the house and nothing is done without her approval or say so. Now my DC are 12 and 13 and I take everything they say with a pinch of salt...theyre teens...need I say more.

But...due to their wedding stuff...ive helped out in rearranging schedules so essentially kids won't see their dad for 3 weeks. He'd arranged to take them out Sunday but SM took ill. He then cancelled their day out as if SM couldn't go none of them could...as it was a family day. They had booked a trampoline park and a meal out.

I went off on one and asked him why the DC should miss out...he said he'd take them to mcdonalds but the "fun" day out had to be rescheduled till they could all go.

This isn't the first time he's been unable to do something due to SM plans...but it is the first time my DC were really hurt by it.

AIBU for being pissed off?

Surely a grown ass woman would not want to stop kids having fun with their dad just because she can't go??

As a SM and mum...I just can't imagine stopping any of our kids fun...or my DSC enjoying time with their dad. I'd be disappointed I couldn't go...but thats life...and I'm an adult.

Rant over

[quote candlelightsatdawn]@funinthesun19 what really grates on me when you see two women at logger head with each other in a family dynamic . There's usually some hapless man either shrugging he's shoulders going what can you do (when there's plenty he could be doing) or actively encouraging it on both ends.

I'm generalising here but honest to god the fact I like my DD SM and she was one of the OW bugs my ex HB no end. He can't get over it. God knows how many years has past and he's like I just don't understand, he would prefer us to be fighting because then we wouldn't spot his shit or defection of responsibilities so fast.

Sadly for me and and DD SM - his family have happily jumped into excusing making role for him🙄 I can't win them all I suppose

• sorry for hijacking op just ranting x[/quote]

This!

My BM and I have history. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with her, and I met my current SO three years after that. Imagine my surprise when I found out who his baby mama was hahaha.

We get on really well! We put those issues behind us (both of us, she was incredibly anxious about the situation at the beginning) for the sake of the child. They don't need to suffer for the indiscretions of their parents. It's bloody hard sometimes but when people ACTUALLY act in the best interest of the children, you put your personal feelings aside and do what you need to do to establish a good healthy relationship.

@funinthesun19 what really grates on me when you see two women at logger head with each other in a family dynamic . There's usually some hapless man either shrugging he's shoulders going what can you do (when there's plenty he could be doing) or actively encouraging it on both ends.

Yep. And all the while he’s the root cause of all the problems. But gets to play the neutral party who just wants the peace.

I'm generalising here but honest to god the fact I like my DD SM and she was one of the OW bugs my ex HB no end. He can't get over it. God knows how many years has past and he's like I just don't understand, he would prefer us to be fighting because then we wouldn't spot his shit or defection of responsibilities so fast.

That’s amazing. He would love your focus to be on each other so that he gets an easier life. Sounds about right. I’m glad you both have a good relationship, at least it keeps good communication between you both so he can’t go back and forth telling lies to each of you for his own gain.

My ex was like this. He used feel very uncomfortable if I was speaking to his ex and it was like he was worried one of us would say something about him. He was always shocked if we’d spoken.
Most of the time we did get on, but we had some disagreements at times too. And it was on those occasions that I was the scapegoat. He got a slap on the wrist in comparison to the vitriol that was aimed my way.