Am I just being petty? (Sharing Subscriptions etc)

[PingedPotato]

We pay for Netflix. The DSC wants to have the log on so they can watch it at mums. Fair enough I guess but then I thought no hang on.. we pay for that and mum is blatantly going to watch it. Also I don't want to go to watch something and be like oh no now I have to ask DH to text DSC to ask them to log off. Also they can see what I've been watching and it makes me feel a bit like privacy being invaded knowing mum can see all the dull documentaries I like to watch.

But then part of me feels like I'm just being petty.

What do all you other step families do with subscription services like netflix?

On the contrary, you and posters like @MauraandLaura and @Evesgarden are the reason people on this forum get a bad name.

Honestly the comments left on this thread overnight have been so disproportional, priveleged and disgusting, not to mention completely lacking in intelligence or empathy ("Boo boo The kids - remember them!!!"? Wow what an insight, such balancing of needs)

You ought to be ashamed of yourself, the moral high ground you think you occupy is a deep valley at this point.

Agreed. This thread is a disgrace at this point. I think there's an awful lot of projection going on, but the personal attacks that have been allowed to stand are disgusting.

I'm just glad I didn't have a big major issue to ask about tbh. It's put me right off.

@JohnKettleyIsAWeatherman

On the contrary, you and posters like @MauraandLaura and @Evesgarden are the reason people on this forum get a bad name.

Honestly the comments left on this thread overnight have been so disproportional, priveleged and disgusting, not to mention completely lacking in intelligence or empathy ("Boo boo The kids - remember them!!!"? Wow what an insight, such balancing of needs)

You ought to be ashamed of yourself, the moral high ground you think you occupy is a deep valley at this point.

Agreed. This thread is a disgrace at this point. I think there's an awful lot of projection going on, but the personal attacks that have been allowed to stand are disgusting.

They are. I have reported then several times, @mnhq have not responded

@Usermane123

I’m not a step mum.

I pay for the 4 view package of Netflix so me and my 3 kids can all watch it.

It fucking pisses me right off that my ex watches my damn Netflix on the kids tablets.

He’s never paid a penny of maintenance and he’s never contributed to phones or uniforms when they were younger

And yet. As soon as they go to his he’s busting to get their tablets and watch my fucking Netflix that I pay for.

And I get that at 18-19 dd doesn’t want to say no dad. Because he’s controlling and nasty. And they are limited now in how much they see him but it used to be every other weekend and a night in the week and it really really irritated me. And still does.

Why should I pay for Netflix at his house?

At this age Why does she leave her iPad at his?

She doesn’t leave it. I didn’t say she left it? She takes it and he’s basically grabbing it off her once she arrives to watch my Netflix

I can see this has been resolved but I think it is a bit petty because it's done/paid for the benefit of the children. For what it's worth I pay for Disney+, my ex pays for Netflix and we share both, that way our kids have both at both homes. I don't see this kind of thing as a big issue worth quibbling over. I'm aware that the world won't end if our 6 year old can't watch Bugs Life at daddy's house. If my ex had a partner (he currently doesn't) who wanted to watch Enchanted on a Saturday night with the subscription then good for her. As long as they don't take the piss by installing it on multiple devices/having loads of logins or whatever meaning the other house can't access it anymore. If that happened I'd have to reconsider.

@Usermane123

She doesn’t leave it. I didn’t say she left it? She takes it and he’s basically grabbing it off her once she arrives to watch my Netflix

Thats awful. Any sign of that and the arrangement stops.

As it happened I just checked with my ex and he doesn't pay for Netflix anymore after all but I'll continue to pay for Disney+ and share it with him. Like I said, it really doesn't bother me if he/any partners use it because it's for the benefit of the kids primarily.

@Usermane123

She doesn’t leave it. I didn’t say she left it? She takes it and he’s basically grabbing it off her once she arrives to watch my Netflix

Ah sorry Is she around there often?

Thats awful. Any sign of that and the arrangement stops.

Kids
Right in the middle
Can’t say yes to mum
Can’t say no
If they say yes, you remove Netflix
If they say no, they hurt / piss off mum

It's one thing if mum borrows it but grabbing it as soon as they get their to watch it is terrible behaviour and we would tell them it's so they aren't caught in the middle.

I’ve explained this. Yes. She used to be there every other weekend and one night in the week. Similar her brother and sister. Less now as they are older and grown ups.

Luckily she's not a complete cow so won't be like oh good kids are here I can use netflix the moment they get to her house.

What happens if they are v close to their mum and have no issue at all with her watching it on their iPads?

@PingedPotato

Luckily she's not a complete cow so won't be like oh good kids are here I can use netflix the moment they get to her house.

How come them

Oh and I'm not allowed anywhere near her house...

Oh you mean not a cow to her children?

I have never told mine not to let him watch it but it pisses me right off

Oh and I'm not allowed anywhere near her house... er..because I am not her kids and she doesn't treat them like that.

@lentilsforever

Oh you mean not a cow to her children?

Yes

I disagree. Children from the earlier relationship shouldn't miss out on things dc from new relationship get as far as possible.

The only way they will miss out on Netflix is if their mum chooses not to get it for them. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else.

@Evesgarden

Its funny *@aSofaNearYou* I feel the same way about you.

SP get a bad name because of what they post. Which is shown time and time again with these threads.

However this thread is a new level of pettiness towards DSC. I think I seen upthread OP is going to allow the kids the password (but I think she is going to block it the minute they leave the house??)

Also if its paid for out of the family budget - doesn't the father get a say?

I'm sure you do, hence why I questioned the absolute arrogance of somebody saying "this is why SPs get a bad name" as though it were fact. It's absolute nonsense that not sharing a one viewer netflix is "why SPs have a name", and the disproportionate responses on here have quite clearly shown both that that "bad name" is rarely deserved on here - applying it to this situation really undermines any argument that the SPs on here deserve a bad name - and just how bad the kind of posters (like you three) who regularly say things like that over such minor, perfectly acceptable things actually are. It's plain to see and evident on this thread that many do.

@PingedPotato

Oh and I'm not allowed anywhere near her house... er..because I am not her kids and she doesn't treat them like that.

Why aren’t you?!

Ask her

I pay for multi screen Netflix, so I don’t mind ds using it at his dad’s. I think someone in their house has a subscription as well. I just can’t imagine a world in which I’d be cheeky enough to watch on their account! And I’d be properly annoyed if they were using mine.

@PingedPotato

Ask her

Because you have no idea!