It doesn't sit right with me.
Have been together with DP 1.5 years. He has one 8 years old DD. We live separately but there are talks about us renting together in the nearest future.
DSD is with her dad 50% of time, just various days/ times/ nights. All fine.
She is a lovely girl, we all spend some time together but most of the time she spends with DP on their own. I spend some time with her too, just the two of us to slowly build a nice relationship.
Whenever I am at DP's and stay overnight when DSD is there I am expected to sleep in the spare bedroom so they can share the bed in the master bedroom. DP calls it 'their room' ie his and DSD's. It has been going on for over 6 months.
Initially I thought, ok, she needs to adjust and settle in the new place and accept the fact her dad is in a new relationship (first relationship after he split with her mum), but that's not that. She says one day she would love to go on holiday with me and DP but of course she is having one room with dad and I can sleep in another hotel room. DP just changed subject because he had seen shock on my face.
On the same day she says to DP that she wants to sleep in the spare bedroom on her own, to which DP replied ' No. I'm never going to leave you like that ' and he insists he sleeps with her whenever she is at his. I have heard her saying it at least 3 times. They stay up late watching tv/ netflix cuddled up on the sofa then they both go to bed together. I'm sat on the second sofa and then go to bed there on my own.
I've raised it with him and he says it is him who wants to sleep with DSD, not her. He says he loves her so much and misses her, that he loves failing asleep and waking up next to her and he isn't going to do anything about it because it is just a way it is and he wants to sleep with her. Then I've said it doesn't make any sense for me to stay overnight at his when she is here, I would rather be at my own place if I've to sleep on my own anyway. He says that he doesn't want to spend less time together and he wants me to be a part on their lives and be here when DSD is here too, and that he would expect me to behave like an adult, not to be jelaous and just understand and accept it because he would. I have told him I thought it was only a temp solution and in standard relationships adults sleep together instead one adult being delegated to the spare bedroom when children are here. He said that we aren't in a 'normal' relationship and will never be because he doesn't get to see his DD every day.
I would understand it if she needed to sleep with him, but no, it is him insisting on it.
He says if we rent together this will change and he will be going to sleep in DSD bedroom sometimes and I won't have to sleep in the spare room. But it still just doesn't feel right.
Aibu?