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Step-parenting

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Original poster

CMS and my income

205 replies

BaconAvocado · 29/08/2021 18:51

Hi, does anyone know if there are any circumstances in which CMS would take into account my income for the calculation. DH is on a private arrangement with his ex at the moment and keeps being asked if I can help contribute towards things like school uniform and why he's not paying more as the DSC have told them I've got a new job.

OP posts:
Original poster
BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 09:45

He worked out the calculation on CMS as 1-2 nights a week

OP posts:
Original poster
BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 09:47

@LookHerey

give DH a nudge to check they are provided for in her will

This isn't really any of his business. If my ex tried to ask me what was in my will I'd tell him to bugger off.

Ah ok yes good point. We'll just cross the "what if she dies" Bridge if it comes to it. I imagine we'd just share everything. But we're not doing that now as she isn't dead.
OP posts:
Original poster
BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 09:49

1 hobby is £12 a week to attend so he pays half that and then there's music lessons through school so that's term time only. He pays half that and bought one of them a new instrument as the school ones aren't good enough the teacher said. I mean the other one needs a piano to practice on really so not sure what's going to happen there!

OP posts:
LookHerey · 30/08/2021 09:51

We'll just cross the "what if she dies" Bridge if it comes to it. I imagine we'd just share everything. But we're not doing that now as she isn't dead.

Yes I agree. I hate that question. What I would do if my DSCs mother died has no bearing on what I would do now when she is alive and well.

BungleandGeorge · 30/08/2021 10:03

You don’t need to contribute at all.
However why is the presumption that she should also be paying £450 a month? That’s not how it works. Just like their care isn’t anywhere near 50% each since their dad has them every other weekend. £225 a month for a teenager isn’t that much really, when you consider the cost of school uniforms, adult sized clothes and shoes and an adult appetite.

Original poster
BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 10:04

@BungleandGeorge

You don’t need to contribute at all. However why is the presumption that she should also be paying £450 a month? That’s not how it works. Just like their care isn’t anywhere near 50% each since their dad has them every other weekend. £225 a month for a teenager isn’t that much really, when you consider the cost of school uniforms, adult sized clothes and shoes and an adult appetite.
This is true. The other part of their financial needs should be met by her and however much she thinks that needs to be is up to her
OP posts:
LookHerey · 30/08/2021 10:06

@BungleandGeorge

You don’t need to contribute at all. However why is the presumption that she should also be paying £450 a month? That’s not how it works. Just like their care isn’t anywhere near 50% each since their dad has them every other weekend. £225 a month for a teenager isn’t that much really, when you consider the cost of school uniforms, adult sized clothes and shoes and an adult appetite.
Because the point of maintenance is to cover Dad's contribution when he doesn't have the children, hence why it goes down the more he has them overnight. So yes it is supposed (I appreciate it certainly isn't always in practice) to be half.

He has them EOW so his payments will be more than a father who has them 3 nights a week for example.

Original poster
BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 10:06

The government think £400ish is enough for DH's half though so they've probably done some sort of calculation.

OP posts:
LookHerey · 30/08/2021 10:07

He has them EOW so his payments will be more than a father who has them 3 nights a week for example.

On the same income, I appreciate it can be more/less depending how much the father in question earns.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 30/08/2021 10:08

@BungleandGeorge

You don’t need to contribute at all. However why is the presumption that she should also be paying £450 a month? That’s not how it works. Just like their care isn’t anywhere near 50% each since their dad has them every other weekend. £225 a month for a teenager isn’t that much really, when you consider the cost of school uniforms, adult sized clothes and shoes and an adult appetite.
Why do you think that's not how it works?

How do you think it works? And what are you spending £225 a month on?

That figure also shows that you don't think mum should contribute?

Original poster
BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 10:08

He also has our LO but I don't know if the calculation assumes he pays £200 towards her.

OP posts:
Getyourarseofffthequattro · 30/08/2021 10:09

@BaconAvocado

He also has our LO but I don't know if the calculation assumes he pays £200 towards her.
It doesn't. It takes a tiny % off but it doesn't assume he pays the same for the resident child. Far from it. They expect the resident child to be mainly funded by the other parent ime.
LookHerey · 30/08/2021 10:10

If he had them 50% of the time, he'd pay nothing. Because they'd both then be expected to cover the expenses during their 50% of the week.

The fact the care isn't 50% is precisely why maintenance is paid. It isn't supposed to be the entire cost to raise the DC. It's supposed to be the NRPs contribution because he doesn't share the care 50% of the time. That's exactly how it works Confused

ojss21 · 30/08/2021 10:18

Your income and job is precisely fuck all to do with her. She's a CF.

BungleandGeorge · 30/08/2021 10:18

It’s not supposed to be half, it’s the amount the government thing you can afford to pay and fund your own life at the same time. So if someone is on low income they are not going to be paying anywhere near half are they? Isn’t the amount if you’re on benefits £5 a week. That’s obviously not half is it..
I’ve never aspired to give my children the least I can get away with. It doesn’t sound like he is that sort of parent as he’s chipping in for hobbies etc. I do think it’s a bit rubbish expecting 50/50 financial contribution whilst at the same time leaving your ex to do 90% of the childcare with the resulting impact on ability to work/ study/ maintain the house and the costs that go with that in the form of childcare etc

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 30/08/2021 10:21

@BungleandGeorge

It’s not supposed to be half, it’s the amount the government thing you can afford to pay and fund your own life at the same time. So if someone is on low income they are not going to be paying anywhere near half are they? Isn’t the amount if you’re on benefits £5 a week. That’s obviously not half is it.. I’ve never aspired to give my children the least I can get away with. It doesn’t sound like he is that sort of parent as he’s chipping in for hobbies etc. I do think it’s a bit rubbish expecting 50/50 financial contribution whilst at the same time leaving your ex to do 90% of the childcare with the resulting impact on ability to work/ study/ maintain the house and the costs that go with that in the form of childcare etc
But if you are living together and one partner is on benefits they're not paying half either. But when people split up it seems that A man is expected to be able to fund the kids and ex entirely and himself.

The last bit... Nobody is forced to do 90% of the care. Do you think the RP should essentially going to be paid to look after their own children, especially when contact arrangements are usually their choice?

ojss21 · 30/08/2021 10:23

when people split up it seems that A man is expected to be able to fund the kids and ex entirely and himself.

I agree.

BungleandGeorge · 30/08/2021 10:26

OP perhaps you would be better to go through the CMS? Their Mum might potentially think his income is higher than it is and think he should be paying more? If it’s officially calculated then it may be easier?

LookHerey · 30/08/2021 10:28

I concede that it definitely is not always half, that was the wrong word to use.

But it isn't supposed to be the only means of raising the DC. Saying "£225 isn't a lot per month for a teenager" doesn't take into account that their mother should still be finding something if not exactly the same amount. It isn't just £225 per month. It's that, plus whatever the Mum pays toward them as well.

LookHerey · 30/08/2021 10:29

Funding*

Dippydinosaurus · 30/08/2021 10:31

Yes, DH said he can't afford to give her any extra this month and she said well what about BaconAvacado as she knows I've got a new job! That was shot down by DH.

No you shouldn't pay anything. However this month your DH should be paying more to cover half of the uniform cost. If they're at secondary school the whole month payment probably only just covered their uniforms (if that)

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 30/08/2021 10:33

@Dippydinosaurus

Yes, DH said he can't afford to give her any extra this month and she said well what about BaconAvacado as she knows I've got a new job! That was shot down by DH.

No you shouldn't pay anything. However this month your DH should be paying more to cover half of the uniform cost. If they're at secondary school the whole month payment probably only just covered their uniforms (if that)

But she gets 11 other months of maintenance, presumably she knew uniform would need to be bought?
Original poster
BaconAvocado · 30/08/2021 10:42

@BungleandGeorge

OP perhaps you would be better to go through the CMS? Their Mum might potentially think his income is higher than it is and think he should be paying more? If it’s officially calculated then it may be easier?
I think they both lose out that way and there's a charge. But he can offer.
OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 30/08/2021 10:47

@LookHerey

I concede that it definitely is not always half, that was the wrong word to use.

But it isn't supposed to be the only means of raising the DC. Saying "£225 isn't a lot per month for a teenager" doesn't take into account that their mother should still be finding something if not exactly the same amount. It isn't just £225 per month. It's that, plus whatever the Mum pays toward them as well.

Yes absolutely £225 isn’t and shouldn’t be the whole amount. I just think that people saying £450 a month for a teenager is an enormous amount we’re having a laugh. Either they don’t have teens or they haven’t added it up. 2 skirts, 4 blouses and a blazer is £200 in our school shop and that’s just the start! It’s not up to one parent to fund from an endless pot of money but I doubt the other parent is creaming off a profit either. I do think there are a lot of costs to doing all the day to day care which aren’t necessarily accounted for
BungleandGeorge · 30/08/2021 10:51

@BaconAvocado I’m not sure if you even need to actually go through the whole process. You may be able to stop after the assessment stage and go back to privately paying. I don’t think you need to go with the option of CSM handling payments but might be wrong

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