CMS and my income

[BaconAvocado]

Hi, does anyone know if there are any circumstances in which CMS would take into account my income for the calculation. DH is on a private arrangement with his ex at the moment and keeps being asked if I can help contribute towards things like school uniform and why he's not paying more as the DSC have told them I've got a new job.

@frazzledasarock yes I mean I have to work around my childcare and it costs us a fair whack so I'm not sure why she thinks I'm suddenly loaded !

Your DP pays towards housing, food utilities which benefits the child in the home.

Child maintenance is meant to be a contribution towards bills and the entire monthly expenditure of bringing up a child, food, housing, clothing, cosmetic etc.

A single person would have lower bills as they’d only be housing themselves etc

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

On that note *@Dollyparton3* CMS only reduce payment by a teeny tiny % for an additional child which realistically I don't understand. Dp couldn't afford to contribute the same amount of cash to our joint child per week as he does to DSS! I certainly don't spent the equivalent on our child either. It's a flawed system.

Totally. The pot should be split at least 3 ways if there's say 3 children now where there were 2 before. But that would be TOO real world so it doesn't happen

Last post was in answer to Getyourarseofffthequattro

@frazzledasarock

Your DP pays towards housing, food utilities which benefits the child in the home.

Child maintenance is meant to be a contribution towards bills and the entire monthly expenditure of bringing up a child, food, housing, clothing, cosmetic etc.

A single person would have lower bills as they’d only be housing themselves etc

Well, not really, we had the same amount of bedrooms etc before so it's no extra. Heating not more because I am always cold so always on, water a flat rate. Only extra is food bill and it does not cost that much extra a week. And clothes I suppose. And childcare but we're still not anywhere close to maintenance level!

I know what child maintenance is for, I am not thick, but we actually spent less when DSS lived with us, and he was not hard done by, neither is Ds!

@Dollyparton3 oh wow thank you so much for all that! You're a star thank you!

Yes it did go down when we had our little one. Which is when he decided to pay a bit extra to help cover the hobby and music lessons.

If you and your DH didn’t have kids you’d have accommodation according to your needs and there’s be less monthly outgoings on essentials .
That’s if your income was limited, I know for a fact I wouldn’t have been living in a three bed near good schools I’d be in a flat closer to work because it would suit my lifestyle better.

Child maintenance is for essentials for a child to try and keep them out of poverty. But it doesn’t work. Because generally the feckless fathers dodge paying it. Which is nothing to be proud of.

If you and your DH didn’t have kids you’d have accommodation according to your needs and there’s be less monthly outgoings on essentials . this is true so I guess I do contribute towards them in a way, higher mortgage and bills here.

[quote BaconAvocado]@Dollyparton3 oh wow thank you so much for all that! You're a star thank you!

Yes it did go down when we had our little one. Which is when he decided to pay a bit extra to help cover the hobby and music lessons.[/quote]
Not a problem!

So am I reading this right in that she lives rent/mortgage free due to him owning the home outright? If so he's paying maintenance +++ already

@frazzledasarock

If you and your DH didn’t have kids you’d have accommodation according to your needs and there’s be less monthly outgoings on essentials . That’s if your income was limited, I know for a fact I wouldn’t have been living in a three bed near good schools I’d be in a flat closer to work because it would suit my lifestyle better.

Child maintenance is for essentials for a child to try and keep them out of poverty. But it doesn’t work. Because generally the feckless fathers dodge paying it. Which is nothing to be proud of.

Why would we? We've always had 3 plus bedrooms?! I don't understand your point. I mean good for you if you want to live in a flat near work, we didn't? And could afford not to?

Again our outgoings are not that different. Mortgage is same. Heating same. Water same. Car same, actually bought a cheaper car post baby because I'd only just passed my test and didn't want to pay extortionate insurance.

Only extra is clothes, slightly bigger food bill and I'd say activities but actually it's not because we go out less as a couple so, evens out.

I don't know why you're aiming your nothing to be proud of comment at me because dp has always paid maintenance and every other child related cost since I've known him.

Dss is not even close to poverty

She’s taking the piss to even consider asking.

And as for uniform being a one year expense, yep, she knows that too and could have budgeted accordingly. She knew it was coming and didn’t plan agreed. If she pushes it he needs to remind her her lack of planning doesn’t constitute a cost you’re obliged to fund. She doesn’t even have housing costs, which is the biggest chunk of most people’s monthly spend. Ridiculous.

Oh and childcare but as I say it's still much much less than the maintenance we pay and dp is nowhere close to being a high earner!

So am I reading this right in that she lives rent/mortgage free due to him owning the home outright? ah no sorry if I've not been clear.

Me and DH have mortgage.
She owns own home outright (inheritance)

I disagree up to a point. If one household is a lot better off than the other one then I think maintenance could be voluntarily increased. Rather than this nowt to do with me attitude.

@Viviennemary

I disagree up to a point. If one household is a lot better off than the other one then I think maintenance could be voluntarily increased. Rather than this nowt to do with me attitude.

I don't agree, if the income is v different because of someone who is not a parent to the child.

@Viviennemary

I disagree up to a point. If one household is a lot better off than the other one then I think maintenance could be voluntarily increased. Rather than this nowt to do with me attitude.

But she could work more if the disparity in income bothered her?

Your income isn’t taken into consideration. They’re not your children.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro I’m talking about the ex-wife she’d not have the expenses she has if she didn’t have a child with her ex (being your partner). The child maintenance he pays to her is supposed to reflect a contribution towards real living expenses for his child.

Nothing to do with where and how you personally choose to live.

I mean I work for my child's benefit really not for hers. But that makes me quite mean and cold I guess? I don't know it's all very confusing.

@BaconAvocado

So am I reading this right in that she lives rent/mortgage free due to him owning the home outright? ah no sorry if I've not been clear.

Me and DH have mortgage.
She owns own home outright (inheritance)

Ah! So with (assuming here) salary, + child benefit + tax credits perhaps + child maintenance she's way above the standard disposable income of a large percentage of the UK and probably your household as well.

Shut her down. There's no bleeding heart routine that warrants your time and if your income drops you have every right to NOT have to justify it to her. Also you don't have to justify a payrise.

Our Exw is similar with a very small mortgage after her parents paid her a huge lump sum from an inheritance years back. She didn't tell us but the kids did. Then when she asked for my cash we laughed all the way to payday

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

On that note *@Dollyparton3* CMS only reduce payment by a teeny tiny % for an additional child which realistically I don't understand. Dp couldn't afford to contribute the same amount of cash to our joint child per week as he does to DSS! I certainly don't spent the equivalent on our child either. It's a flawed system.

We don’t spend anywhere near half what goes towards my 2 DSC on our DD. And it would cost DH far less to have them full time than it does to pay maintenance. He didn’t reduce it when DD was born, they still cost the same as they did before we decided to have her. But as it’s a percentage of income and only based on the paying parent’s circumstances it’s not the case that it’s an insignificant amount as is so often stated as complete fact on here.

Every man for himself. Or woman. How very sad.

But Vivienne even if the OP was a multi billionaire in her own right. Why should she be forking out for someone else’s children?

She’s providing for her own dc within her own capacity with her DH. Her DH is contributing towards all his children and OP’s DH sounds like he cares and is trying to provide for all his DC.

On the flip side do you think the ex wife should contribute to her ex husbands household if he decides he wants to work part time? After all their joint child lives there too some of the time.

@Viviennemary

Every man for himself. Or woman. How very sad.

No, I wouldn't say that at all. Over the years I have spent lots of time and money on dss. Because I wanted to. I enjoyed doing it and he deserved it.

I did not however pay his mum, because I did not want to do that as I couldnt guarantee he would get the same experience or actually have the money directly. Dp pays maintenance for his wellbeing and I spent money on fun things, quality time. Nowt wrong with that.

I'd not expect anyone who was not my child's parent to fund them.

@Viviennemary

Every man for himself. Or woman. How very sad.

Is this aimed at me? My DSC have two parents both able to work to support them. My child deserves whatever I can do to support them alongside my husband. Why do DSC need my income too? Their mum is capable of working more if she wanted to. It is not my fault she has chosen the lifestyle she has.