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Original poster

Every bank holiday (almost!)

299 replies

MiniPep · 28/04/2021 08:15

Hi all,

With the upcoming bank holiday on Monday it’s just hit me that I will no longer have bank holidays with just me and my partner and I feel quite sad about this...

My partner has his son every Monday-Wednesday and every other weekend so sometimes it’s 3 days a week, sometimes 5. Whatever the week though we will always have him on a bank holiday Monday.

I mentioned this to my partner as a realisation simply saying “I’ve just realised we won’t have bank holidays as just the 2 of us any more” and he didn’t get it. Which again feels quite disappointing...

How does everyone else split their bank holidays? Do your arrangements mean that you have them every bank holiday Monday?

And before anyone says it - I know we had Friday 2nd April which is why I said almost! It was a wonderful day off together and that’s why I feel it’s a shame we won’t have more but every other bank holiday this year falls to his contact time...

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iforgotyourenotbono · 28/04/2021 08:16

But you have eow just the two of you - so why does a bank holiday matter?

Pinpointer · 28/04/2021 08:19

Me and DP work bank holidays so I couldn’t be too worked up about missing this alone time.
Can’t you both book annual leave for some alone time together?

wonderstuff · 28/04/2021 08:19

Can't you just take a Friday off together?

Goingtogetflamed · 28/04/2021 08:22

Unless you work weekends you have eow together. It seems that Your partner, rightly, is happy to have more time with his child and you probably need to accept that and find joy in him being a great dad, otherwise this is going to get tough.

Looneytune253 · 28/04/2021 08:22

What?!? This has to be one of the most bizarre threads I've ever seen. Most people have their kids every day and every weekend and every bank holiday. He only has his half a week and only half the weekends. That's not even half the full time: it's not a lot in comparison to most families. I'm not surprised he doesn't get it lol.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 28/04/2021 08:26

But he has him on a Monday.

Most bank holidays fall on a Monday.

Is he supposed to say ‘sorry mate, I know you’re supposed to be with us on Monday but it’s a bank holiday and but my partner resents that a bit to be honest so we’ll skip your Monday this week.’

Doesn’t sound great does it.

excelledyourself · 28/04/2021 08:59

“I’ve just realised we won’t have bank holidays as just the 2 of us any more”

Why "anymore"? What changed?

Brieminewine · 28/04/2021 09:16

I’m with your DP, I don’t get it either.

What’s the significance of bank holiday Mondays for you?

user648482729 · 28/04/2021 10:28

I’m not sure I understand it; has contact recently increased? We pretty much always had DSD on bank holidays but seeing as we had eow just us it didn’t bother me and was a bonus day for us to do something.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:28

Sorry OP, I'm genuinely trying to understand. What is the problem with not having bank holidays without his son? Could you not take time off on the other days of the week to spend together or is there something about the bank holidays that are important to you?

lunar1 · 28/04/2021 10:32

I don't really get it, you have every other weekend without his child.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:33

Is it because you'd like to get drunk on a Sunday?

KurtWilde · 28/04/2021 10:37

Honestly struggling to understand. I'm not surprised your DP was Hmm

You already get plenty of child free time. Is he supposed to cancel his sons regular cobra bf day just because you've attached some special meaning to a bank holiday?

LaceyBetty · 28/04/2021 10:41

If I was your DP, I would not appreciate your comment at all. This is his son. It is threads like this that lead to step-parents getting a hard time on MN.

FishyFriday · 28/04/2021 10:41

Is it an issue around you both having little time off work and therefore the bank holidays mattering? I'm just trying to figure out why it feels important to you.

We usually have my SDC here on bank holidays because my husband is trying to make his annual leave stretch. He's taken a new job with less annual leave too, and doesn't have enough to cover his school holiday contact arrangements, never mind ever have a day off without his other children being here. It's not ideal at all but it's his leave, his children and his choice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is something like that making bank holidays feel like a bigger deal to you than they seem to others?

LaceyBetty · 28/04/2021 10:43

My husband and I haven't had a full day, let alone a bank holiday, just the two of us in almost 11 years. Not joking.

FishyFriday · 28/04/2021 10:44

@LaceyBetty

My husband and I haven't had a full day, let alone a bank holiday, just the two of us in almost 11 years. Not joking.
But these are your own children though, I assume.

It's not the same thing. There's probably a reason why this OP feels this way about bank holidays.

Bibidy · 28/04/2021 10:44

That's rubbish OP, I wouldn't be happy with that.

My DP and his ex have the bank holidays that fall with their weekends with the children, it's just the easiest way. This year it has fallen that DP only has them for the August BH, but last year it was every one except the August date I think.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:46

FishyFriday ah yes maybe you're on to something. If they don't get much time off work or have to use it to cover holidays then the bank holidays would be more significant I suppose.

Insertfunnyname · 28/04/2021 10:47

I don’t get it either. You have every other Saturday and Sunday together don’t you? So call it “bank holiday saturday” if it makes you feel better.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:47

@LaceyBetty

My husband and I haven't had a full day, let alone a bank holiday, just the two of us in almost 11 years. Not joking.
I find that unusual, a lot of people I know with children try an take a day off when they are in school just to go out for lunch or something.
LaceyBetty · 28/04/2021 10:52

But these are your own children though, I assume.

It's her DP's own child.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 10:53

Yes but it's not OPs so makes sense she might want a break. But she seems to get one every other weekend.

LaceyBetty · 28/04/2021 10:54

I find that unusual, a lot of people I know with children try an take a day off when they are in school just to go out for lunch or something.

Agree. I said a full day off. We have had lunch etc., but not a full day. Not that I wouldn't love a full day off, but not always feasible when you have kids and she is with a partner who does.

Milkshake7489 · 28/04/2021 10:54

Your partner has a son. His contact time is vastly more important than having bank holidays 'just the two of you'.

Do something together on the weekends he doesn't have his son (that's already much more childfree time than many parents get, and that's what he is... a parent with all the responsibilities that entails).