A reasonable request?

[Preggersandtired]

I'm due to have mine and DP's first baby early next year. He has 2 children aged 13 & 11. Would I be justified in expecting us to have at least say a week or so of just the 3 of us before the kids came over? I just think I'm going to be so tired and probably overwhelmed etc, so would be nice to have a little time to adjust ... Just wondered if this seems like a fair ask?

My son pulled this book out this morning “Pirate Pete I’m a new big brother”

It’s good enough for them

Op you are doing the right thing by everyone by allowing yourself to have this space. I echo the previous posters who suggest some short visits.

I would absolutely think that's fine to do, but I would allow the children to come and meet the baby for a short visit within the first couple of days, too.

OMG Give me a break you guys!!!
Of course this is NOT UNREASONABLE!!!
I totally hear you. The thing is that because we are step mothers and people love shaming us and lecturing us. we can never state our opinions!!!

When my husband's ex wife had her baby, she gladly sent the kids to our place for a week, because according to her, HE HAD TO KEEP THEM. That was outta the arrangements, and we had to take days off, juggle around, so that she could have her time with new husband and baby!

Now, if tables were turned and I asked him not to have them for a week because I want to enjoy my new baby, does that make me a monster??????????????

GROW UP!!!!

Dear OP, go for your time. You deserve that and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Given both sets of kids are moving to the other parent, both will be allowed to meet the baby briefly and your own history, it seems reasonble.

All the 'if they were your own kids...' chatter is nonsense. It used to be totally normal for mum to be in hospital or for older kids to be a grannies.

Newborns are stressful and disruptive. If the older kids can be spared that, allowed to meet a cute, peaceful version of their new sibling, and then eased into the new family dynamic, why the heck wouldn't you?

That depends are you starting a family or adding to one?

There is your answer.

Set your stall out but don’t be surprised when your step children have something better to do when it’s baby’s birthday party next year if you don’t see them as family they they may well see you that way too.

@Inpeace the OP already has a daughter so she isn’t “starting” a family. RTFT