To not give my kids over 50/50

[FullTimeMummy1983]

Hi, name changed for this but regular on aibu etc. Dont know if this is the right place but will get moved if need too.
Me and exH separated 6 years ago, 4 kids 7-13. Since Corona and all that theyve been having 50 50 time with there dad and me, which was fine, I have a new partner etc. The kids started being upset when they came back here crying and stuff saying they wanted to stay at there dads more. So he spoke to me and said it was in the kids best interests moving forward to stick with 50/50. Before this it was about 40/50 with me.
Anyway so then he says he wont be paying me CMS anymore because of this and will go through CMS cos we'd just been doing it between ourselves until now. I didnt know that he shouldn't pay me anything if 50 50 is this true? I would really struggle without that money and he said I could think about getting a job, I've not worked since before DD13 was born, but i don't see how thats his business and i have some inheritance.
Then the kids have come back to mine and said they want 50 50 but I've told them that would be a bigger gap not seeing there dad cos 2 weeks straight. One of them said its cos he has an xbox at his dads which i just think is the real reason so ive bought him an xbox now for here. I dont want to not be available for my kids cos who would have them if there ill etc. We've gone back to 40/50 now and my ex is saying he'll go though mediation cos thats what the kids want??
Can my ex not pay if its 50 50?

Why would he have to pay if he has the kids an equal amount of time as you?
I also don't understand the bit about not seeing their dad 2 weeks straight?

I think if you share 50/50 custody then no maintenance has to be paid. You can't be getting much now if it's 40/50.

It might be none of his business if you get a job or not, but if he doesn't have to pay maintenance, it's not really his responsibility to fund your life, his children's...yes, yours....no.

Go on the CMS calculator

Tbh if you're youngest is 7 then you do really need to get a job op even part time what do you do when they are at school. If its 50/50 then you don't receive maintenance.

It's not your ex's fault you don't work, maybe start by getting a job and then you wouldn't need to worry about money so much.

The two weeks thing ive told the kids cos they were upset when they came back here and wanted 50 all the time, 2 weeks.on 2 weeks off, I said thats a long time not to see your dad so lets just keep it normal. Probably not 40/50 before, he had them every tuesday to wednesday and every other Thursday to Friday and gave me about 250 pounds. I can't be without that money.

How much would you get via cms? How much does he pay now? He might go with cms anyway, even if you stick to the old routine. Is it that much less?

Realistically can he still do 50:50 once school and work starts back? Or is it only working out now because he's wfh?

Didnt mean 7 sorry youngest is 5 started school in september
We've been through the CMS calculator and hes paying what he should atm but he says if it goes 50 50 he will do it properly and if he can prove he has them 50 50 he wont need to pay anything. Jusy wondering if thats true.

You need to get a job op 16 hrs minimum you're dc are all school age.

So he previously had them for 3/14 nights?
That's not 40/60

You need to check the CMS calculator and see what it says for 50/50.

If that's what the DC really want then alternate weeks with each parent would be more usual than 2 weeks with each I would imagine.

He says he can do 50 50 when there back at school cos he can finish work earlier or work from home , which he does now.
He also has a wife who works but he says her wage isnt taken into account?

Why should his wife wage who goes to work be taken into account so you can stay at home and sit on you're arse! Go out and get a job and support you're dc.

Thats what im saying though. I wont be able to afford a drop in that money and definitely not nothing at all, so i dont think it should be 50 50 cos thats going to have a effect on the kids without the money , even if they say thats what they want. I've got DS10 an xbox now and he says hes fine now

@AllsortsofAwkward because they have two incomes i dont see why it's not taken into account. She looks after them when hes working from home and she isnt so she has a hand in there life

Yes, as far as I’m aware, if it’s 50/50 then no child maintenance needs to be paid. If it’s only about money, maybe look for a flexible job that you can do when the dc are at school for fixed hours and then take on extra hours when it’s not your week to have them. A friend works at Tesco and that’s what she does. I know it must be tough to lose time with your dc, but only saying no because you don’t want to lose any money is morally wrong. It’s about what’s best for your dc.

You go out and get a job op you can't expect the state and your ex to support you're dc especially those that are school age. The fact you moaned about his wife not been taken into account is pure greed on you're behalf why should her money line you're pockets.

Why on earth would his wife’s wage be taken into account they’re not her kids? If him and the kids want 50/50 then that’s what you should do and you definitely should get a job rather than trying to choose contact arrangements to suit you rather than them

Check it yourself, go on the CMS site and work it out.

The children want more time at their dad’s, that’s good, they love both of you and want equal time with you. You can’t prevent that because you don’t want to work. You’ve already got inheritance, you can split the child benefit so you each get it for 2 of the DC.

Why wouldn’t you split the time equally? Just because you think he should support you financially?

7 or 5...?

No her money wont be taken into account. If you can't afford the drop in money get a job.

Bloody hell you're entitlement to her money is something else. My exs dw is a teacher onns decent wage I wouldn't expect cm payments topped up by her wage, I'm grateful what she does for DS and I also provide by working.

Get a job! And why can't the 50:50 be one week on, one week off? Why does it have to be a fortnight in each direction?

You have a new partner too, so I'm not sure why your exh's partners income should be considered if yours isn't.

I don't think you are being fair at all. The kids want to see their father 50:50. You seem to want to stop them, even buying an xbox just to compete. Thats not healthy.

So by that logic, your partner should be paying maintenance to your ex then?

If they are with their dad 50% of the time why should he pay you anything?

What does his wife's salary have to do with it? Presumably they will be able to better provide for the children while they are there?

You should get a job and do the same if you want them to have a similar lifestyle at your house

I’ve just seen your updates Op as we cross posted. You really need to go and get a job. Of course his wife’s income shouldn’t be taken into account, they’re not her children. According to your posts, the new wife should pay but you can’t be bothered to get a job to support your four children. Seriously... what is the world coming to.

Ive already said i can't get a job as i told my ex it doesn't work for the kids. I wouldn't even know how to get one (have asked him to help)
Thats not what i came on here for it was to ask about 50 50 and CMS