Family court and reduction in contact for private nursery

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

My other half is in family court tomorrow. He's self representing. It's a contested final hearing.

He recieved his ex's position statement which states she will agree no increase to current contact (which we expected). But that she wants to discuss a reduction in contact to facilitate the child going to private nursery 5 days a week as she wishes to go back to work. She is offering the bog standard every other weekend with one evening for dinner but must stay locally. The child is currently 22 months old.

He currently has 3 days wed/thur/Fri with an overnight in week 1 and Fri Sat sun in week 2 with an overnight. He wants to increase contact to add the additional overnights in.

He has no issue with her going to nursery. But since he already has this contact and he can care for the child instead of her going to nursery, how could this go down in a final hearing?

He has to prepare himself as self rep - and needs to work out how to address it without coming across badly. Any tips or experience with this?

By the way, not saying it should be reduced from what it is now either.

The thing people seem to also be forgetting is that dad was dictated to days and times. He then fitted his life around those. Now she wants to reduce contact and he has to change to suit her wishes? She can still work. He isn't preventing it. In fact, he's facilitating it by offering increased time. She can choose to work from every Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. She then can decide what to do about every other weds/thurs. She can also work every other weekend if she wishes.

She has her retired and young parents avaliable for babysitting, and they regularly do so. So she could ask them for assistance if she wanted to.

I hope he gets awarded more contact today op.
Best of luck!

This is a confusing post I find, and lots of very mixed reactions.

The one thing that sticks out for me is that there seems to be a disconnect between all of you, Mum, Dad, child. I’m not sure why he’s so adamant he needs more time, she’s a small child who needs stability surely? Alternate days is a bit useless when it comes to childcare she can’t work alternate weeks! And a nursery will insist on same times each week.

Honestly I think this is stirring up conflict for the sake of it. If the Dad can offer a regular Monday e.g. every single Monday when fine, offer that. If not, I don’t see the problem the mother wants to work which is not a bad thing.

Not much has happened so far. Her position statement didn't arrive at court so they've left court for it to be read. She tried to submit video evidence and was strongly told how unacceptable this was.

He's also been told his statement is too long (11 pages).

I hate sitting at home just waiting for information. I'm keeping myself busy with admin crap I've been putting off for ages and MNing.

Just had a quick phone call. Doesn't sound great, not just for him, but over all.

He wasn't allowed to cross examine about issues they've had where she has denied contact and breeched the order. He was told he cpuldnt refer to "historical" events (in July and November!!!).

She only asked him one question.

No discussion about nursery or anything. Overnight increases barely touched on. They just said his contact is generous, and he said yes because these were the recommendations made by social services. It was then moved on. No discussion about splitting holidays or anything else.

It sounds like neither side are being listened to. How can you be child focussed without all the pertinent information?!

My experience was the same. Sometimes they make sense, sometimes it’s a total shambles. Sometimes this would happen and what was actually ordered was good, sometimes it’d sound good but the order would be a mess. Has an order been made now or is he still waiting for that?

They're on a lunch break. He has no idea what happens when he goes back.
It's clear from the s7, s7 addenment and cafcass report why the contact was ordered the way it was. They must have read those surely?

Anyway, what will be will be.

Is it magistrates?

And yes, what will be will be. His daughter clearly has a dad who loves her very much and that’s what matters at the end of the day.

I am enjoying the updates because their isn't enough of this on mn or nm. There's always a lot of bad advice and people opinions without actually information on what happens at court.

He said it's magistrates. As far as I know the previous proceedings have been magistrates too.

He's still sat around with no idea what happens next.

How disappointing Op.

Still sat there. How helpful to not give him any information on the process! The court finish in an hour and the last thing he knew was he was sent for lunch!

Can he check with a clerk?

Whatever the outcome waiting is horrible. So much stressed for one little girl clearly loved very much. Let's hope that whatever the outcome they will learn to make this about whats best for the girl and not a battle for them to win.

That's a lovely sentiment swingofthings.

He said the usher spoke to him but no information was given!

Oh how difficult for your partner, a friend of mine experienced similar - he has sole custody of his daughter and SS have made recommendations for her to see her Mum for lunch every Sunday, she doesn't turn up quite literally every other week, yet when he's gone back to court for review he's not allowed to mention her not turning up as it's classed as 'past events' and 'her personality' they just have to deal with an upset 6 year old when her mum doesn't arrive as planned.

Really really awful news.

He's he his contact reduced.

Mum gets every single Xmas day.

He doesn't even have a full weekend. He has to do all the driving and return her at 12.30 on the Sunday of his weekend.

I'm at a total loss. They've completely gone against all recommendations.

He will be back to court again. He won't leave it. I know he won't. His battery died as he was telling me so I don't have the full story yet.

Thats awful QforCumber they definately dont sound like they are doing whats best for the child there

Oh @ThisMustBeMyDream how awful,

I’m so sorry . Definitely worth getting some legal advice. We’ve had a magistrates decision appealed because they went against CAFCASS recommendation. Hang on in there, both of you.

@ThisMustBeMyDream I've just sat and read all of this thread. And then got to your reply about the outcome out court, and I'm not going to lie. It genuinely made me cry. Thinking of you & your DP.

I'm sat here in tears.
The worst thing is none of the reduction was about facilitating nursery or mum's needs.
They just went against all previous recommendations.

Wasn't not was (can't see - blurry eyes)