Family court and reduction in contact for private nursery

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

My other half is in family court tomorrow. He's self representing. It's a contested final hearing.

He recieved his ex's position statement which states she will agree no increase to current contact (which we expected). But that she wants to discuss a reduction in contact to facilitate the child going to private nursery 5 days a week as she wishes to go back to work. She is offering the bog standard every other weekend with one evening for dinner but must stay locally. The child is currently 22 months old.

He currently has 3 days wed/thur/Fri with an overnight in week 1 and Fri Sat sun in week 2 with an overnight. He wants to increase contact to add the additional overnights in.

He has no issue with her going to nursery. But since he already has this contact and he can care for the child instead of her going to nursery, how could this go down in a final hearing?

He has to prepare himself as self rep - and needs to work out how to address it without coming across badly. Any tips or experience with this?

I really can't see your OH having an issue here. The courts prefer the child to be with a parent than paid care. Good luck

He will use before and after school clubs the same as her mum would.

Do you see the irony of this post op? Do you think realistically it’s for the child’s benefit to be away from their mother for half the time. 50/50 isn’t necessarily in the best interests for the child and can be more unsettling, my ds gets upset when I’m at work all weekend and he’s at home with DH

It's a university degree. He chose the course based on its days and times fitting in with contact. He can't change the days and times of study.

Ahh my brains being really slow today, what contact is he proposing and what is it currently.

How long has the current arrangement (Wed Thur Fri/ Fri Sat Sun) been in place?

This isn't a debate about 50/50 or how other children cope.

Social services recommended this level of contact for very good reason (that I don't want to give further details of).

If Mum is working then she needs either the nursery or days consistently covered by the other parent.
She can't pay for alternate weeks at nursery.

I'd do contact as:
Week 1 Thursday pick up from nursery - Fri pm / Sat am
Week 2 Thursday pick up from nursery - Sunday am / pm

Can you not see how restrictive it is for the dm who is trying to get back into the workforce that he wants those days one week and not the other, she needs reliable childcare

She can pay for weekly nursery when it's going to cost her approx £15 from her own pocket. I don't see that as a reason to reduce dad's contact.

Right so he’s prepared to change nothing in terms of his own schedule in Order to see his child more, just wants extra nights, (presumably to reduce his CS payments) even if it means mum paying for childcare she can’t use. Would he be interested in paying for the childcare that isn’t being used?

Mum wants to work FT. Your DH is currently unemployed (whether he becomes a teacher in 2020 is irrelevant).Therefore contact should be on the mum’s terms. That means set contact days each week. If he can’t commit to that then take it out of court, save the money, and revisit access after he also gets a job.

This isn't a debate about 50/50 or how other children cope

Actually op a court looks at the needs of the child and their ability in coping with contact arrangements. Hence what is in the best interests of the child not what is convient for the other parent.

If this arrangement has been in place for any length of time and it was recommended by social services and the mum’s only complaint is how she accommodates nursery, I’d imagine your DP would be fine.

That said, sometimes what you get in court can seem to be as changeable as what the judge has eaten for breakfast.

It’s obviously not in the child’s best interests to be in nursery when she could be in the care of her father.

Not sure why anyone is disputing the current arrangement when it’s what social services recommended.

How on earth Do you know her precise financial information?

Also he not available to met those dates all the time. As for the dm you seem to know a lot about her finances.

Social services recommended this level of contact for very good reason

So why is he trying to increase it? Doesn’t that go against what SS have recommended?

How about offering every Thurs to Saturday? Child goes to nursery Monday - Thursday (including one day when with dad), has Friday and Saturday morning with dad then Saturday afternoon and Sunday with Mum.

Circumstances do change and it will be in the child’s interests in the longer term if mum is able to sustain a career.

Is this you’re first time in court because I think you will be very surprised.

Teen - cross posted!

He isn't unemployed. He's a student teacher. He wants to increase the overnights because if you look at the current arrnagement he basically drops her back to mum's to sleep. Then picks her back up. He wants to be able to have a normal relationship with his child.

The only problem for mum working full time is that she would be paying for 2 days nursery every other week that wasn't used. The total cost of that to mum would be £15 every other week that goes unusued because of funding and universal credit childcare costs paid.

You don’t know her financial so how would you know what she would get? The child in question might actually be struggling with the current step up have you thought for a second you’re not there when the child returns home.

No. It's the 2nd time. First time was for the current arrangement which stated "overnights to be increased between parents". 6 months later she has refused any increase. So it's gone back to court (also because she has breached on several occasions eg. Fathers day).

OP - I wonder if you might be better off getting this moved to Legal Matters.

Depending on social services reasons, he may be unsuccessful in getting the extra overnights but I do think his ex is also onto a loser asking for a significant reduction on what social services have recommended.

The court likes to keep the status quo so that goes in your DPs favour. I don’t know why people think you might “be surprised” as what you’re saying makes sense to me and I have spent significant amounts of time in court.

Some nurseries can not accommodate splits like what’s needed here but some can but generally the rule is mum sorts childcare on her days, dad sorts childcare on his days.

So has he offered to pay it?

How do you know her finances btw?

Mum possibly won’t get the 2 year funding if she’s earning too much when she returns to work though, so the cost to her may be slightly more.