Will they ever accept me?

[niteandfog]

My boyfriend and I got together via an affair (were not proud of it) but well what's done is done. His children know how we got together and the DS absolutely hates me his DD seems ok/ambivalent about the whole thing. I've told him at last his DS will never ever accept me and that we can kiss the "blended family" dream good bye... I just would to here any stories where the kids actually ended up accepting the ex AP as an actual step parent.

Hahahaha

What a lot of bollocks

You don’t have any friends? But in an earlier post you said you often had people round after your dd’s bedtime and this was why you saw no probs in having your new man round?

You’re not even trying at this point are you

The first meeting was an accident!! The formal one obviously wasn't ... And yes I'm a very active member and they're like my family but they're old enough to be my great grandparents!! They don't care about my private / romantic life. Although they were glad I divorced.

Who cares about the circumstances of your DD meeting him. She seems fine with it all, probably because she's probably never saw you and your ex in a loving relationship, so there is nothing to grieve.

The issue here is HIS children because clearly, they grew up in a very different family setting, and as much you want to believe all is dribble that he was in an unhappy marriage, he wasn't and his kids got hit with a hammer when he announced that he wanted to play happy family with them but replacing their mum with another model they couldn't care less about.

More lies.

No lies...

For the love of God (since your so religious )
You and your boyfriend created this mess and out both of your children in this shitty situation!
They should be the priority, not your hurt feelings.

Really, no lies? So contradicting yourself, changing your story, having an affair, making stuff up on the hoof to suit your agenda. Nope, not lying, no lies here, not even a little one guv. Pathetic.

‘No lies’ hahaha ok then

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3208254-When-is-is-the-right-time-to-introdice-new-partner-to-children-and-then-move-in?msgid=77028014

Apart from changing the timings of your respective separations according to which way the wind is blowing obvs

Oh ffs, so it is.

OP, what is the point of posting lie after lie after lie?

No one can advise you properly if all you do is lie and twist things to suit your own agenda. Why didn’t you tell them on that thread that you are the OW?? Because you wouldn’t have got the replies you wanted.

Yet you’re certainly proud of it on this thread.

Truly pathetic. And that’s not even a dig.

just this morning when i was feeling bored I wondered 'hmm haven't heard from niteandfog recently '.... aaand here you are again just as delusional as when I read your first post.
Maybe his son doesn't understand what a 'catch' you are?

From that other thread:

“My dear boyfriend still thinks we can all coexist, he says he’s not choosing me over them, simply that his DC will always be his DC but I will not always be there. He even half-jokingly asked me to marry him a couple of days ago. ”

So pretty obvious it’s op as this prize guy who’s putting his current shag above his relationship with his dc is pretty distinctive

But wait

On that other thread you claim to have been both separated for over a year, dating since october, and definitely not the ow

So it’s pretty clear you’re a total bullshitter and a wind up merchant and anyone replying to these threads with anything remotely sensible is wasting their time

For the record... I have to come up with other similar situations but omitting the affair part as otherwise everybody focuses on that. Then I get some more sensible advice. The truth is that from the first thread the general consensus was that "I was overreacting and he was just being friendly", then it moved to "he's having his cake and eating it, he'll never leave her" and now I'm.left with the aftermath which is isn't as bad a sit could be. I've always stayed on the sidelines never wanted any protagonism in any of this. Yes his DS hates me that's understandable but his father and I do love and support each other which I assume will also be hard to understand and I'll always be the person who broke his family.

wait wait, you're religious??

out of interest are you still having therapy op?

You didn’t just gloss over the affair on that thread though, you completely lied about the timescale of your relationship/s in order to get the replies you wanted. Because, deluded dopey dipshit that you are, even you had enough self awareness to realise that literally no one would advise you to introduce your new shag to your dd five minutes after separating from her dad.

So how can anyone believe a single word of any of your ridiculous threads?

You’re a troll, you have wasted hours and hours of well meaning people’s time with your navel gazing made up bollocks, why don’t you jog on love.

And if @MNHQ are looking in, if this isn't trolling I don't know what is. Made up shite for kicks, wasting posters' time, taking the piss out of other posters with gaslighting bollocks, bringing children's upset into the narrative.

I know I can't be the only one who has reported this endless drivel.

Yes I have weekly therapy. And yes I'm religious although more of the cultural type. And no it's not the answers I wanted but simply you think I'm the scum of the earth and don't deserve no honest advice. Apart from a few which I really appreciate.

In the kindest way possible Niteandfog insults aside, you have received honest advice. You just don't like it so refuse to accept it.

The long and short of it is, the situation is awful. And voluntarily caused by yourself and your bf at the detriment of both your children.

You don't want to accept that and continue to play the 'woe is me, we are star crossed lovers' bollocks.

Honest advice doesn't mean nice advice.

mamahanji mostof it has been the vague "put the children" first. Whichgiven the situation can.only be made on his side rather than mine. And I do think maybe most people here believe we truly can't love each other. And it's all lust / sex

No it can be done on your side.

Look at it any way you want, you cannot possibly hand on heart say your daughter has been your number one priority in all of this.

You have.

And you are enabling your boyfriend to be a shit father. That makes you as bad as him.

He isn't putting his children first and you are standing by and letting him?

Honestly there is nothing more disgustingly unattractive than a shit, selfish father.

There is no denying that's what he is. 'The kids will always be there'. No they won't. They really won't. They are real people with their own choices and opinions. Family isn't guaranteed. We don't have to spend time with abusive, deadbeat parents. My dp hasn't seen his dad in 16 year and or his mum and brothers 10 years.

Honestly for the sake of both your children, walk the fuck away! You are as much to blame for their pain as he is as you are deliberately (yes it's deliberate as you are refusing to do the right thing) standing in the way of children having access to both parents (yes it's his sons choice not to see him. But that choice is because of you) and a family support network.

Instead of daddy running off to his new fuck buddy and playing daddy to her daughter half the week after a month and a half.

Please honestly answer how any of that is ok?

Really properly think about it. This is all on you and if you continue to deny responsibility and accountability for your actions, you are a truly horrible person and I feel sick to my stomach for your daughter.

The advice you've been given seems vague to you because nobody has told you want you want to hear.
You've been told to put these children first. You've completely ignored it because you don't to.
You want to posters to come along and tell you the magic formula for walking away happily with your man and all the smiling, happy children in tow. You want to be told it's all going to be ok and the mess you made isn't really that bad.

Well op, listen up, there is no way to fix this.
The best you can hope for is that some time down the line he has a relationship with his children. I highly doubt that you will ever have a good relationship with them.

What you need to do is lay low, stay the hell out of his relationship with his son. Keep your nose out of his wifes business.
Focus on your dd and pray the damage you've done doesn't come back to bite you on the ass.