Will they ever accept me?

[niteandfog]

My boyfriend and I got together via an affair (were not proud of it) but well what's done is done. His children know how we got together and the DS absolutely hates me his DD seems ok/ambivalent about the whole thing. I've told him at last his DS will never ever accept me and that we can kiss the "blended family" dream good bye... I just would to here any stories where the kids actually ended up accepting the ex AP as an actual step parent.

It was all low key until he got caught... Ironically by getting out of my place when I was not even in the country, but oh well! Nobody really knows she's met my DD apart from her dad, who is really the only person that needs to know. I'm sure his ex would.be completely infuriated that he's playing "daddy" with my DD which it was definitely not the case but I can see it will be seen that way.

Wonder if he'd still be with her if he hadn't been caught...

He moved out before he got caught... So no....

Men like him never leave unless they have some other gullible fool to move on to. Congrats! That would be you.

I’m going to hide this thread now, because your selfish comments and disgusting attitude towards his children is really started to piss me off and I’m not getting banned for someone like you!

they will always hate you, sorry.
What did you expect?

Maybe eventually to realize that their mum and dad were better apart regardless of my existence?

And they might have decided that eventually, but now none of you will ever know because you two couldn’t conduct yourselves in a way that would allow that to happen.

You both made your choices and the repercussions of that is that you now have no influence in how the kids make theirs.

Is their mum better off or is she at home heartbroken? Cos my Mum was, and that alone was enough for me to hate the OW for existing.

My mum would have been better off without my dad's existence, OW was just the turd on top of the shit cake tbh

And you know what it isn't even about seeing their dad happy or any such bollocks. It's about seeing their mum struggle alone, I remember your past threads - doesn't she have health issues too? Seeing their dad happy being with you just rubs salt in the wound and shows that their mum is the one truly dedicated to them and putting them first each and every day.

It turns out her health issues were minor and temporary. And she's not alone she has a massive support network. But that's completely irrelevant. Besides he's offered to help but as a dad and not a husband and she's refused. And yes his DC hating my DD is one of my biggest worries.

Oh god, I forgot that they were all at the same school. You really have t thought about your daughter at all have you!

His DC will hate your DC, as no doubt he'll have moved in with you within the week and he'll play dad to your kid and neglect his own.
Until he cheats on you with the next sad bint who'll have him, and then he'll move in with her.....

Well no.. and in any case it would take years and years (he's only ever had very long relationships) or I could cheat on him first after we both cheated

OP seriously...your situation isn't ideal but it's also not unusual. How things develop in the future is mostly down to how all of the adults behave, and that includes you.

If you can give your DP space to work things out with his kids and then start bringing you into it down the line, then there's every chance you could end up having a decent relationship with his children, despite how this all started. Of course there is a possibility that you won't, but you give yourself the best chance of achieving good relations by just chilling out for now and going with the flow.

PS. you're just getting battered on this board, I'd stop posting!

Well no.. and in any case it would take years and years (he's only ever had very long relationships) or I could cheat on him first after we both cheated

LOL. Now I'm thinking this is a wind up thread.

LOL you are a piece of work op.

bibidy thanks for the honest and thoughtful answer. I've never tried to force the situation with my DD (originally he asked if we'd like to join him at the beach as he was already there) but we ended up running late so my daughter asked if he'd like to come for dinner instead. I actually told him there was no pressure to come. I've never ever did I have to meet his kids. I've said in fact maybe it was best to be apart for a bit. He refused the offer. I don't know what else what I am supposed to do? Actively break up with him? PS the last comment was of the ridiculousness of once a cheater always a cheater as we were both cheaters

nite and fog I wouldn't break up with him, there doesn't seem any need for that, but for now (and for a good few months yet) I'd just sit back and let things unfold, try not to worry too much about your future relationship with his kids and possible difficulties. You may find things don't unfold that way at all.

My DDs needs are met. Its not like I don't look after to be with him... And yes maybe they shouldn't have met but that was by chance. His DC? Well he's doing everything he can apart from breaking up with me. What else can he do is his DS refuses to see him?

And if that was the case well , California has lovely weather all year long :)

Do you mean if you broke up with this man, you'd move to California without your DD? I hope not